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Elastic Assholes 12

Studio: Jules Jordan Video » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 6/27/14

XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended


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Mike John’s Elastic Assholes 12

Jules Jordan Video/Mike John Productions

Genre: Anal

-- sponsored by --

Director: Tim Von Swine


Cast: London Keyes, Tim Von Swine, Casey Calvert, Sean Michaels, Luna C. Kitsuen, Savannah Fox, Ike Diezel, Mark Zane, Maddy O’Reilly

Length: 195:04 minutes

Date of Production: 6/3/2014


Extras: There was a group of trailers, a popshot recap, a photogallery, websites, a cast list, and a great BTS lasting 25:26 minutes. The BTS was mostly a series of sex scenes mixed in with the attendant photoshoots, Tim adding comments along the way (definitely adding some fun) including some background material as well as some more sex.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Elastic Assholes 12 was presented in an appealingly clear 1.78:1 ratio anamorphic widescreen color as shot by director Tim Von Swine for Jules Jordan Video. The lighting was consistently solid, generally limiting the grain and other visual flaws in the open settings of the house, the open rooms well lit this time (I still preferred the tease sessions by the pool when available though, even with the clouds in the background). There were no compression artifacts and the fleshtones were good, making this one visually solid for my tastes. As expected, Tim Von Swine handled the production and the entire movie was the better for it, again earning him full directing credit. The 2.0 Dolby Digital English audio was a bit more basic with no separation or major dynamic range but I could always hear what was said by the performers.


Body of Review: Tim Von Swine is one of my favorite directors at Jules Jordan Video thanks to his ability to get the best out of the ladies as well as consistently pick winners. His latest title under the “Mike John” banner will come out this week, a handy little anal fuck flick called Elastic Assholes 12, the series providing a lengthy look at ladies who have shown a propensity to take a cock up their ass with a smile. The women this time included Casey Calvert, London Keyes, Maddy O’Reilly, Savannah Fox, and Luna C. Kitsuen. With a cast like that, the fun factor fucking and strokability should be well above average, Tim himself joining in much more than usual to serve as the “everyman” rather than some pretty boy type or well hung monster. In that sense, the dynamic of the show changed by using Tim so much, his ability to connect with the ladies substantially higher than most of the gonzo mopes out there since he relies so heavily on personality instead of working cheap or carrying a monster sized pecker. Here’s a very brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that obviously no condoms were used for those still interested:


Scene One: London Keyes, the increasingly curvy Asian babe featured in fishnet attire on the middle of the left side on the front cover, was up first. Her fishnet body suit enhanced her look as Tim Von Swine commented on her limited pubic hair. As wonderful as her boobs were, Tim adored her juicy ass as she teased him in the living room location, her erect nipples poking through the material before Tim unfastened the snaps of her crotch to show off her perfect pucker. They both fingered her ass as he commented how he had never porked her precious pucker, the gal wasn’t doing anal at the time. He oiled her up nicely and she warmed up with a toy before devouring him orally with some knob slobbing fun, her excellent eye contact enhancing the entire scene. She gave him a brief titty fuck with the material altering the feel for him, her mouth using some hand to gland friction to provide extra tactile stimulation as she went back to blowing him. She sucked his balls and went with no hands blowing him for a bit until she sat on his turgid pecker vaginally, more oral leading to her bending over for him, the tightness of her asshole driving Tim crazy as they both actively rode each other. Tim is perhaps the best POV shooter currently shooting scenes, a virtual tie for Mike John who is off making another living, and his ability to shoot under these conditions and do so very well enhanced the replay value considerably. London kept going back to slob his knob and it was almost a game of how long he could possibly last, various other positions testing his stamina until he bust a nut of semen on her welcoming face to swallow.


Scene Two: Casey Calvert, the gorgeous brunette bending over on the lower left corner of the front cover, was up next with Sean Michaels, this being the second time working with him but the first time by themselves. She wore a neon pink top and skimpy shorts that revealed a little bit of camel toe, the tease taking place out by the pool on a cloudy day after it rained. Her nipples were poking through the sheer material of her shirt and she walked over to let Sean direct her tease session as he lounged nearby. Sean has been a popular IR performer for generations and much more liked than those claiming the throne to such things, the gal stripping down as directed in order for him to savor with some gash gobbling and rimming. He lightly probed her squeaky clean asshole and she actively blew the top few inches of his erection, the couple moving inside to the couch where she sucked a lot more of his pecker as he played with her delicious ass. Casey also had solid eye contact and after sitting on his face, she impaled herself vaginally on his cock, actively riding him though he was stretching her considerably. This led to a similar experience with her wondrous ass, both of them giving more head to stimulate the other, Casey getting increasingly active at anally riding his cock and even taking a break to give him a foot job. It ended with a facial blast of sperm all over her face and open mouth, Casey taking some to the eye and licking him post coitally as she gave the camera a “come hither” look, their chemistry making it work nicely.


Scene Three: Luna C. Kitsuen, an energetic young hotty with a wealth of tattoos and incredible body parts as partially seen on the middle of the right side of the front cover, then took on robust Tim Von Swine in the living room. She was frisky and happy as she pranced about the living room in her neon pink booty shorts. Tim loved her big tits and her curvy ass was as yummy as ever, her 21 year old puffy pussy looking ready to rumble. Tim sank his thumb into her ass as he showed her assets off, her body definitely built for speed over comfort with a bald beaver capping it all off. He sat down and she went to town blowing him, throating him while maintaining great eye contact as the streamers flew. She sucked his balls while stroking him off and he oiled up her breasts for a titty fuck, the director admiring her abilities (just like I knew he would!!!), the oral alone worth the price of admission. They then reversed positions for some doggy penetration where her fleshy ass rippled so sexily that even Tim had to slow down to last longer, Luna pushing back to drain his dragon faster. The vaginal led to anal and she rode just as fast, sucking him clean between positions and making it a tremendous performance as Tim set the camera down on a table to spoon with her. Her asshole bounced back each time to earn her nomenclature as being elastic and some doggy ended it to going full circle, Luna pushing his seed out of her ass and all over the couch and floor before some obligatory post coital head.


Scene Four: Savannah Fox, the powerfully thick fox bending over on the lower right corner of the front cover, was up with Ike Diezel and Mark Zane. The deck of the pool was soaking wet from the rain and she walked over to Tim while her white top showed her nipples and her silver booty shorts showed her camel toe. Her hips were the largest of the cast and she was as much built for comfort as speed, her strong legs and phat ass a delight to behold. Tim wanted to discard the guys and do her himself but he gave her the double boner patrol as a gift, Mark coming over to take off her top and massage her all natural tits while Ike lucked out to drop her drawers as he peeled her shorts off. She started aggressively sucking off Mark while Ike gave her head, the trio switching around at Tim’s command which allowed her to ham it up a bit though she clearly was having a great time. They then went inside to continue, Savannah inhaling their cocks in turns while they drilled her neatly trimmed snatch when not in her mouth, her ass as readily accommodating them as her pussy. She was masterful in her performance and the guys kept up better than expected, her heart shaped ass worthy of all their attention. She throated them, kept excellent eye contact, squirted out all sorts of fluids, and generally had a lot of fun engaging them sexually in a way that stood out, my appreciation for thicker gals satiated even though from her waist up, she seemed quite lean (the best of both worlds). In any case, after some enthusiastic fucking, she let them DP her in a few positions which pushed them over the edge to deposit sizable wads of semen into her mouth and around her face that she largely swallowed.


Scene Five: Maddy O’Reilly, the wonderfully sexy redhead with the perfect ass seen on the top middle of the front cover, engaged Tim Von Swine sexually to closed things up. The beauty has had a great year being showcased left and right as well as being seen as a leading force for refreshingly young cuties to take the reins of their own work, one glance at her in action tends to make a believer out of viewers. Maddy wore a bright pink outfit as she walked around the pool on the very cloudy day (it had been raining earlier), her firm ass appealing to Tim much like the rest of her. She had only been doing anal for a very few months and her g-string rode up her amazing ass really well to be nestled right up in her ass, the 24 year old lady discussing her ever growing ass in the BTS. Tim found her shapely ass and delicious looking pussy to be exactly what was needed for the show, fingering her holes before oiling her up and getting his first blowjob from her. Maddy teased him a little during the oral and her sensual approach combined well with her splendid eye contact, some hand to gland friction added in at times to get him rock hard. She then backed up to him to do some preliminary doggy with her perfect pussy, the pair moving the show to the house where they began with her blowing him all over again. While not a “tart” as Tim pointed out, Maddy looked younger than her age and this excited Tim a little extra I think, her ass the tightest of the show from how they proceeded to open it up in doggy. Tim’s thick boner porked her oiled ass well enough to send shivers up her spine too, the pecker going balls deep as she rocked to meet his thrusts and sucked him clean at times. She wasn’t the most active anal rider of the cast but she did a commendable job considering her experience level, some added vaginal penetration and oral combining with more anal to push him over the edge for the facial plastering she wanted, Maddy swallowing much of the spew.

Summary: Elastic Assholes 12 by director Tim Von Swine for Jules Jordan Video was another winner by the director, the strokability, replay value, and quality of the action again adding up to a rating of Highly Recommended. Casey Calvert, London Keyes, Maddy O’Reilly, Savannah Fox, and Luna C. Kitsuen all provided replay value and strokability, the Tim and the guys elevating the sexual antics with all the usual touches they add to inspire heat, energy, and enthusiasm. In short then, Mike John’s Elastic Assholes 12 was again full of the fun factor that makes the director’s movies so appreciated, his ability to showcase sexually skilled anal hotties in a fuck flick a testament to his ability to enhance the performances of his already solid casting, Tim Von Swine’s bringing home the bacon one more time.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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