Audio/Video: The video was pretty pixelated when I watched on my laptop, but seems to be a fullscreen. The background music was all right, certainly unique, not too annoying- it was consistent and clear.
Length: 2 hours 30 min
Release Date: March 2, 2016
Extras: photo gallery only
The Cat's Whiskers?: Eh, this had some great moments but also some awkward ones. I would consider it a Rent It, because it’s really just a bunch of scenes that were put on the Trans 500 site cut into a DVD. I would imagine it would be more interesting to just buy a membership to the site and find the sorts of scenes that appeal to you personally. I felt SUPER uncomfortable with the logo featuring the male talent that says “I kill it dot com”, showing after each scene. It feels really tone deaf considering that a lot of the work I’ve seen from Trans 500 involves trans women of colour, who are also slaughtered at an unprecedented rate by men in the day to day. Not cool, Trans 500. Also, and perhaps this is my own naivete- I genuinely thought this was going to be a DVD of trans women with big dicks, not trans women fucking cis men with big dicks. I also wasn’t aware it would be all the same one male performer. I like a lot of variety, so that kinda brought it down a notch for me.
Sex Scene 1: We’re treated to a striptease from Dao, a cute Asian trans woman with an uncut cock. She’s wearing an elegant strapless dress, sparkly silver shoes, and silver toe polish- it’s a very cocktail party type look. There’s a few minutes of striptease before the male talent comes in. He’s already hard, and Dao seems excited to get her mouth on his as quickly as possible! The blowjob is mostly shot POV style, so the viewer can have the experience of their cock being sucked. Watching her mouth stretch over his thick cock spans that edge between hot and absurd. He fucks her from behind over a kitchen counter, spanks her a bit absently, and they move into missionary position, again with her on the counter. They moan, but almost as individual entities. I just didn’t feel a lot of connection between them. They call men like him a stunt cock, and it really comes through here- she’s beautiful, and trying for eye contact, and humping his cock with her ass, and he’s just kind of… there. He cums on her chest and it just seems kind of dispassionate. While I think Dao is gorgeous, I’d like to see her in a performance with someone who actually is INTO her.
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Sex Scene 2: Lizzy Laynez is on the beach in her bathing suit and she looks hella babely. I enjoyed the hint of public sluttiness, because I’ve enjoyed some semi-public play in my time and this beach is abandoned, so why not fondle yourself a little, am I right? Except apparently the beach isn’t abandoned, it belongs to Ramon (Ramon! It’s the male talent from before! He’s named at last!) Ramon basically tells Lizzie that she’s on his property and thus now belongs to him, because he obviously doesn’t understand how property disputes work. Lizzie says no, he threatens to arrest her (?? under whose authority?) so she agrees to go with him. YES I KNOW THIS IS JUST A PORN PLOT but I do think it’s important to consider the larger implications of eroticising abusing power, especially when the victims of said abuse are trans women. Anyway. After basically manipulating Lizzie into sucking his dick, Ramon has her do so outside his building (which looks like a beachfront hotel). She jerks him off while sucking his cock, pretty enthusiastically and seemingly pretty skillfully. In a way, Ramon’s performed apathy towards the women he works with works for this scenario, where she’s trying hard to make him happy. He leads her into a room, where he jiggles her ass a lot. He seems really, really into her ass. Maybe this is the secret to Ramon’s heart, a big and bountiful ass! We get another blowjob, mostly from the side this time, and then some cowgirl fucking. Ramon is a lot more vocal in this scene, expressing his pleasure quite a bit compared to his first scene. We wrap up with some reverse cowgirl, some doggy, and some spooning position fucking, before Ramon unloads on Lizzie’s face. She seems to enjoy the taste of his cum, licking it off his cock and her lips.
Sex Scene 3: Next up we have Michelly Cinturinha, who has a glorious hourglass figure. She does a strip tease and oils her ass up, which of course brings our dear friend and ass-aholic Ramon to the yard. He sprays her ass to make it even more shiny, and rubs it with revenance. There are ass men, and then there is Ramon, who seems to care about round trans girl asses more than most things on the planet. I would argue that he seems to love fondling asses more than he likes having his dick sucked, considering his vocalizations during both. We have a pretty long blowjob scene, which is pretty standard as blowjob scenes go. The viewer does get to know Ramon’s balls pretty intimately during this scene. There was an ingrown hair I really wanted to pop which was pretty distracting, but then I’m not a big blowjob person. Watching Michelly touch her cock while sucking Ramon’s was pretty hot though. I’m realizing that wall to wall scenes that have been slapped together from content made for the web isn’t really so much my cuppa. It’s gotten formulaic when they move into doggy, and we’re only halfway through the porn. I guess perhaps I prefer it when the performers are looking at each other, when it feels like there’s some sizzle between the two of them. HOWEVER! There is a fabulous moment where Michelly cums all over her hands and tummy, and as soon as she orgasms, the lights go out. The light sparkles against the drops of cum mimicking her diamante bracelet in a way that is pleasing to the eye. This was obviously unplanned, but seeing the cum lit up in a little spotlight, and everyone swearing and laughing, made it feel very honest and real in a way I realized I wished the whole scene had been. His cumshot paled in comparison, tbh. Though, the lights did go out again.
Sex Scene 4: Mo is the next girl up, and she seems a little shy and quiet. Ramon is super chatty, trying to get Mo to share where she’s from, but he gives up quickly and goes to what he knows- butt worship. He suggests she take his pants off, and Mo endearingly grabs his cock a little too hard making him wince. Good on you, Mo! She gives him a blow job, which allows us to see her eyes- a really stunning ice blue. I feel like Mo’s mouth is all about being eager but not perhaps skilled, but it’s cute. I feel like watching her is like watching how she sucks the dick of a date, rather than as a performer, which is always sweet to see. This scene really picked up for me when they were fucking, though, because Mo is talkative, responsive, and seems to be actually into the fucking! Between Ramon’s love of her round ass, and Mo egging him on to fuck her harder, this was the first scene I found myself actually getting into. Also, there’s something about a woman saying the sex is hot, and what she wants him to do, that makes the sex hotter to me. There’s some piledriver position in this scene, which was a nice change of pace. Mo rides him for a while as well, and we get to watch her ass bounce up and down as she fucks him as hard as she likes. He cums all over her chest, which actually made me gag a little (I’m finding I have an aversion to semen) but she seems happy with the experience.
Sex Scene 5: Nahomy Chi is working out in the gym, which is a nice setup for watching her ass bounce as she jogs on the treadmill. Not that I recommend gawking at women working out, I think that’s kind of a shitty way to objectify them when they’re trying to do their own thing, but this is a porn, and we all know what we’re doing here. This ends up being a really cute lead in, though- basically Ramon comes in and starts jogging next to Nahomy, before falling off the treadmill, leaving her giggling. Then he tries to impress her by lifting weights that he’s just not capable of lifting. Eventually Nahomy takes pity on him and helps him out, flashing a cute, braces-filled smile. This gives him a chance to flirt with her, and he’s charmingly awkward. They go to her place, and her nipple tattoos (beautiful flowers) peep out over her tube top. Ramon asks to see them in a pretty slick move, and he is about as fascinated by these nipple tattoos as he is normally with asses. To be fair, Nahomy has pretty gorgeous breasts. He oils her up, massaging it into her big boobs… but it’s not long before Ramon asks to see her ass, which is incredibly round. The cocksucking begins with Nahomy shaking her head and being incredulous that Ramon thinks he can fit his huge cock into her, but she also seems pretty game to try! I like watching her play with his cock, because she’s got this really cute amazement that just glows in her eyes and her smile. Watching the fucking, though, I got the impression he really was too much for her- this was a shorter scene than some of the others, and she seemed to be wincing some. Ramon cums on her chest and she licks it off her breasts, which is cute to watch.
Sex Scene 6: Ramon is in a hot tub and it’s actually kind of cute. He’s bobbing his cock around in the water while he talks with the camera person about creating some casting couch situation. They’re in Brazil, and the camera person encourages Samantha Ferraz and Rafaella Ferrari, two blondes in matching bikinis, to shake their ample asses for the camera. Ramon is totally showing off and goofing off to make these women laugh, which is fun to watch. They suck his cock together, cheerfully fighting over who gets to have it in her mouth. Ramon is like a kid on Christmas. He rubs both their asses down with oil, and they’re like tattooed twins as they bounce their asses in a row for the camera. They move into a bedroom together, with Ramon getting his cock sucked by Samantha while Rafaella sucks Samantha’s cock, which is incredibly hot. We don’t normally get to see trans women get their cocks sucked in this series, and it’s a nice departure. Then Rafaella gets fucked, then Samantha- and while Samantha is fucked doggy style, she sucks Rafaella’s cock (which is really big, btw!) I got the impression that Samantha and Rafaella are friends, maybe even lovers- they touched each other without being told to, egging each other on. In a way, while the two women were presented to Ramon as his playthings, they use him as their toy instead. The scene’s finale involves Ramon going from one girl to the other, eventually cumming on both their asses. Samantha and Rafaella did not make out at the end, which made me a little sad. I wanted them to.
<3 porn reviews by a porn star <3
"How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself" -Anais Nin