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Hansel & Gretel


Studio: Vivid » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 12/6/02
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XCritic's Advice: Rent It




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Hansel & Gretel

Vivid

Genre: Costumes, Outdoor Sex, Fairy Tales

Director: Paul Thomas

Cast: Dayton Rains, Dale DaBone, Tyce Bune, Merrissa Arroyo, Sharon Wild, Pat Myne, Eric Masterson, Felicia Fox, others uncredited
Gwen Summers: nonsex role

Length: 74.5 minutes

Date of Production: 2001

Extra's: 19 minute Behind the Scenes featurette, bloopers, 4 trailers, unrelated scenes, spam

Audio/Video Quality: My biggest gripe about the dvd is the low quality picture. The colors bled, the picture looked pixilated and also blurry. The sound wasn't bad.

Body of Review: In another of Vivid's version of Fractured Fairytales, director Paul Thomas takes us on a journey of silliness in this playful remake of the classic, Hansel and Gretel. In the original tale, the two leads are children who stumble upon a tasty cottage in the forest owned by a witch with a taste for young children. Okay, enter pornland version. Dale and Dayton are brother and sister by marriage and are cast aside by an evil, if cute, Sharon. The entire movie is done with tongue firmly planted in cheek with no one taking it too seriously. This is a good thing, considering porn sized budgets. Here's the sex scenes by cast:

Scene One: Tyce and Sharon got busy in a cottage. The sex was fair and included oral, cowgirl, missionary, doggy and a cumshot to the chest.

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Scene Two: Dayton gave Pat sex in exchange for directions out of the forest. It was actually an okay scene although I'm pretty sure that blankets don't magically appear out of nowhere in the real world. Some oral to each then straight screwing before it ends.

Scene Three: This was more of a teaser scene between two blondes with a couple of guys watching. None are credited and nothing beyond a bit of feeling up occurs.

Scene Four: Dayton and Eric bone in the witch's nice house. Merrissa (spelled differently nearly every time I see her name) joined them in what was the hardest, and warmest, scene of the movie. It took place in a bedroom and included the same oral/straight you'll find elsewhere in the movie with the exception of the lovely witch getting a couple of fingers up her butt. The good news is that she does not then lick the fingers clean as some companies would've had her do. Whew!

Scene Five: Dale did the deed with Felicia on another bed at the same time as the last scene. I dislike this style of editing as it detracts from the fun of both scenes but it wasn't bad.

Scene Six: Guess who screws in the last scene of the movie. That's right, Dale and Dayton. I found it funny that the entire movie spent so much time verbally downplaying the incest angle but apparently Paul had fun doing so. Another outdoors scene with the couple performing oral and vaginal sex in a few positions, ending with a cumshot to the chest. Not bad.

Summary: Vivid is probably the most successful porn company in the world at the moment so you can't deny they appeal to a large market. They tend to have very attractive women engaging in sexual antics in pleasant settings which is more than most of us will ever have in real life. The movie itself was worth watching once and some of the sex scenes looked fun enough to view a time or two more. Some of the unrelated scenes in the extras section were actually hotter and added value to the package. I just wish that some of the ladies here could've turned up the heat a bit and acted more into the action. It wasn't a bad movie but it's definitely a rental unless someone has a sale.

On a side note, some of the scenes used a multiple angle feature. If you dislike seeing the men squinting and making those goofy faces, stick with angle 1 as it seemed to be better than 2 or 3 in this regard. Fans of condoms will rejoice that they are used throughout the movie. If I could change one thing about the movies though, it'd be to fix the actual picture quality itself. Maybe Vivid needs to drop the unrelated extras so it can have more room for the feature.

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You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon





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