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Tatiana 3

Studio: Private » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 12/8/02

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Tatiana 3: Private Gold 28

Private/Fraserside Holdings, Ltd/Milcap Media

Genre: Feature, Costume Drama

Director: Pierre Woodman

Cast: David Perry, Katalyn, Frank Gunn, Inga, Myrka, Jean Yves LeCastel, Jean Michael, Franck Versace, Angela, Magalie, Alan Deloin, Nora, Susanna, Timea, Andrew Youngman, Keri, Tania Russof
Nonsex roles: everyone else. ;)

Length: 135.5 minutes

Date of Production: 1/98

Extra's: 6 trailers, Tatiana's Report, a few biographies, Production Notes, photogallery, widescreen, various languages and subtitles, credits in French, picture credits for the entire series

Audio/Video Quality: It looked as though Pierre used more slow motion photography here and the picture suffered as a result. Otherwise, the picture was better than in the previous two volumes. The audio was the same French language crud with an occasional narration to give a very general overview as to what was happening. Sadly, the sex sounds were dubbed, in French, which limited their appeal to me-I think the cast must have spoke Russian or something as the French used didn't match the lips moving.

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Body of Review: In Tatiana 1, I got to see the lovely looking Tania Russof in her 17th century historical drama go forth and try to save the family farm from an oppressive overlord of sorts. The movie sucked goat turds in almost every way but it set up the trilogy for Tatiana 2 which was a bit better as Tania got her revenge. After watching two worse than average (for Private) movies, I felt obligated to see how badly burned I was with this final volume. As luck would have it, this one had some action worth recommending. While the cast still seemed to be going through the motions in most scenes, a couple elevated this one to a slightly above average status. With this volume, the series comes full circle and ends on an up note. Here's a breakdown of the scenes:

Scene One: Katalyn, an attractive looking clockwatcher, took on David in a large waiting room of sorts. Like most of the scenes here, the mechanical action went from oral to straight to anal before a facial shot. Not well done but enough to rate average.

Scene Two: Frank G. boned Inga in a carriage outdoors. It looked slow and boring to me compared to a few of the other scenes.

Scene Three: Myrka, looking worn, took on Jean Y., Jean M. and Franck V. outdoors in the woods. She did show some enthusiasm which certainly helped the action even if it wasn't great.

Scene Four: Angela and Magalie took care of Alain on a table indoors. They were attractive if stiff.

Scene Five: Nora, Suzanna, and Timea (who are called Eva, Lidia, and Cataline in the behind the scenes report) screwed Andrew in a shallow lake. All three looked fine! The sex was fun and I believed they all had a good time. Yay!

Scene Six: Keri(?), took on David, then Jean Y. in the livingroom of the large mansion. Pass.

Scene Seven: The moment most of us had been waiting for-when Tania got screwed in each hole by David. The scene wasn't bad but considering the buildup here-she gave a BJ in volume 2 and in volume 1 she had a weak scene-I wanted a whole lot more. At least she was good to look at.

Summary: This is a case of hype not living up to the reality of a porn movie/series. Sure, Private spent a lot of money on the costumes and locations but the end result would've been better had they hired a few more people to dub the English language track better. A feature film in an unknown language makes for a lot of fast forward fodder (if I hadn't of been reviewing it, I'd have scanned right through the talking crap too). I've seen a lot better from Private so when one of their flagship titles bites this badly, I wonder how much alcohol I would've needed to see the same movie a few other online reviewers watched. The acting was bad, the sex generally weak although hardcore, and the rest of the movie fell flat on most levels. It did have a couple of good scenes but that's not going to be enough to recommend it to most people.

The current online price of this one ranges a lot as Private seems to promote sales on a regular basis. Try it as a rental at best as you'll be able to find much better scenes with Tania in them elsewhere.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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