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Studio: Vivid » Review by The Immoral Majority » Review Date: 11/17/03

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

The Movie:

Ever wonder why some porno movies attempt to have a plot?  I can't really think of a movie that was enhanced by this artificial device.  People watch porn to see two, or more preferably, people humping like dogs in heat.  The fact that it takes place at an all girls school right after the van from the boys school up the road breaks down in their driveway doesn't make the movie better.

Nailed is one of those XXX pictures that has a plot to tie the sex together.  Sharon Kane is a beautician who lives in a very expensive house (hey, it could happen) with her daughter.  Not realizing who it is, Sharon ends up screwing her daughter's boyfriend.  Her daughter finds out. That's pretty much the whole story.  Makes you wonder why they went  to the trouble of including it.

Scene One:  You actually get two sex shows for the price of one in this scene.  Sharon Kane and Dru Berrymore go at it in Sharon's bedroom.  Just as they start getting down, the scene changes to a van with Dasha and her boyfriend Slim Shady.  They park in an alley and they start playing suck face.  The rest of this scene keeps cutting from the lesbian scene to Dasha and back again.  Eventually Dru and Sharon go into the bathroom and get some dildos out.  Things get hot when Sharon puts a dildo in her moth and starts fucking Dru with it.  Dasha and Slim, instead of going in the back of the van were there would be plenty of room, decide to get outside and screw on the concrete stairs for a while, and then get on top of the van and fuck doggie style.  I don't know about you, but I find myself doing that all the time.  I'm glad a director finally had the courage to film it.

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Scene Two:  Slim goes into Sharon's shop to get a haircut.  While washing his hair, she starts kissing him and she ends up riding him.  (Note to self:  get hair washed before getting a cut from now on.)  Slim then bends her over and plows her.  It ends with him cumming on her face.  (I hope he left her a good tip.  Maybe that is how she is able to afford her nice house.)  This was the hottest sex in the movie.  Sharon really acts like she's enjoying it, though you find out in the extras that she didn't.

Scene Three:  A group sex scene, sort of.  A bunch of Dasha's friends are goofing around and end up in an empty warehouse one night.  What could they do for fun?  I know!  They could fuck!  And that's what they do.  Dasha has previously found out that her 'mom' screwed her boyfriend, so she breaks up with him.   He goes and screws Cherokee and Lezley Zen,  while Dasha pleases her self with another stud.  Sunrise Adams pairs off with another guy in a corner, and they all have a good time.  While Cherokee and Lezley work on Slim's tool together, the other two couples go through some straight forward sex.   Slim ends up doing both of his girls (I can see he's really broken up about losing his girlfriend) and ends up cumming on Cherokee's stomach.  Sunrise gets a face full of cum from her fella next.  The couples don't mix it up at all, with the single exception that Sunshine runs over to Dasha and takes a second load on her face, while Dasha gets none.  It just didn't seem fair to me.

Scene Four:    Dasha realizes that both she and her mother have dumped Slim, so she goes and takes a bath and plays with herself.  I'm not a real big fan of masturbating in the bath or shower, so this didn't do much for me.  After a while, she gets out and sticks the handle of a brush up her twat.  She cums, and then the screen fades to black.  It was a nice ending.  (Rumor has it that Alien was supposed to end the same way, but they ran out of time and money before they could film it.)

Not a bad movie overall.  No anal sex, but some fairly hot scenes.    

The DVD:


Very good.  Presented in full frame, the way it was shot.  There were a few digital artifacts, but if you are looking at how blacks the blacks are and if the lines are clean, you are watching the wrong DVD.  The sound was Dolby Digital 2.0 and it sounded clean and clear.

The Extras:

There are a couple of nice extras on this disc, and a couple of useless ones.

Vivid Girls:  Five scenes from other Vivid movies.  10-15 minutes each.  The scenes are not earth shattering, but a nice extra.

Galleries:  Two still galleries featuring Dasha.  The images cycle automatically, which I didn't care for.  I'd rather control it with my remote.

Behind the Scenes:  Nice 8 minute piece.  Candid moments with the cast during the shoot.  Glad they included it.

Previews:  Previews to Girligan's Island, Udderly Ridiculous, Garage Opener, and Rack 'em.  You cannot select which preview to watch, they are all strung together.  You can skip over the ones you don't want to view with the 'skip chapter' button on your remote.

Others:  There is also a series of commercials for pay-per-minute 800 numbers.  Apparently there are a lot of sex women who are looking for casual sex but just can't seem to find it.  So they are calling chat lines.  You learn something every day.

Final Thoughts:

Sharon Kane is getting a little old for the world of porn, but she put a lot of heart into it, and gave the best performance.   Dasha is very beautiful, and has a wonderful accent.  She was fun to watch.  The movie consists of pretty straight forward sex.  Nothing to write home about, but very professional and well executed.

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