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Ozporns Go To Hell, The

Studio: VCA » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 12/28/03

XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended

The Ozporns Go To Hell

VCA Interactive

Genre: Feature

Director: Antonio Passolini

Cast: Tawny Roberts, Jessica Drake, Cameron Cain, Cheyne Collins, Nikita Denise, Angel Long, Rick Roberts, Barrett Blade, Sindee Coxx, Baz, Rachel Rotten, Rob Rotten, Eric Masterson
Non-sex by Tina Tyler, FJ "Fred" Lincoln, Dirty Harry, James Dalton Beach, J. Sayier, F.G. James, and a bunch of others that weren't credited

Length: 147 minutes (full feature), 119 minutes (wall to wall sex option)

Date of Production: 2/2003

Extra's: The best extra for me was the audio commentary with Antonio Passolini. He provided a fairly solid commentary with a nice mix of technical comments and anecdotes from the shoot but he would desert the commentary when he had "nothing" to say. There was also a 14 minute long Behind the Scenes feature that was pretty cute, three trailers, three Star Stats, two photogalleries, a sex on demand function (similar to the positions room some companies use), a short bit of outtakes (~3 minutes), and a sountraxxx feature to listen to the music by itself. In general, this was a great set of extras that added some real value to the DVD.

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in the industry standard 1.33:1 ratio full frame color, as expected. The picture looked very crisp and clear with only minimal grain in a few darker scenes. I saw no compression artifacts or other major flaws except a bit of pattern noise in a few minor spots. The audio was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital English with minimal separation between the channels but a good mix between the vocals and music. The music was fairly solid on its own as well with just a hint of cheese and not too much volume most of the time.

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: VCA has been one of the leaders in the adult industry for making feature porn for years now. At one point in time, it was thought that no one could touch them as they routinely scored best DVD in a number of venues each year. These days, the rest of the pack still seeks to best the company, sometimes even doing so, but every once in a while, VCA proves it still has what it takes with a great release. This time, the release is the follow-up comedy to their very popular hit not long ago, The Ozporns Go To Hell. The story is a bit of a take off to the reality television show that has Ozzie Osbourne and family acting silly. In the VCA version, the humor is present in spades but the sex is better than anything Ozzie would remember were it not for his many habits. This time, the family is touring the country, having sex with whoever gets in their path. Here's a breakdown of the scenes of this entertaining adventure:

Scene One: Tawny, the hot blonde from the front DVD cover, and Jessica, the redhead now employed by Wicked Pictures, had a lesbian scene together in front of a fireplace. The gals looked fine and spent lots of time munching rug before taking out the toys on one another. The scene was good enough that I probably would've let them use the toys on me if I had been present at the shoot. Yum!

Scene Two: Cameron, a cute blonde with a curvy body, let Cheyne go down on her in a motel room (what a great ass she had in the bending over sequence) before she returned the favor. Her oral skills were quite solid with the eye contact well done. The two then boned in a few positions, often quite forcefully, before he rubbed out a load onto her abdomen.

Scene Three: Nikita and Angel, recognized throughout the world as highly talented anal queens, took care of Rick in a weird diner. I really liked the playful oral going on this time and the straight sex was as good as always but a lot of fans are going to skip to the anal antics since they know these gals will deliver a lot of heat. If you think these two can't provide some real heat, check out this scene (whew!).

Scene Four: Tawny, looking great once more, gets even with Rick by seducing Barrett the mechanic in his office. She teases him a bit and then gives him a wonderfully sloppy blowjob before he returns the favor. He then spent a few minutes giving her the hot beef injection in a couple of positions before rubbing out a load on her chest. Being the nasty girl that she is, she gave him some post-coital sucking afterwards.

Scene Five: Sindee, a gal with a lot of experience pleasing men, puts her talents to work by giving Baz an energetic blowjob before he bends her over and lets his cock take over in a doggy style screw. He pushed his thumb in her ass to increase the pressure and he plugged her and her dirty talking sent him over the edge. I liked her more in the old days but she did a great job keeping me warm with this scene.

Scene Six: Rachel, porn's favorite Goth gal, and Rob, her significant other (they are on the front DVD cover on the right hand side), had a scene on stage for the crowd at a bar. While the two are never as heated together as some other couples in porn (Nicole and Voodoo come to mind), they are never bad together either. His plethora of tattoos might work for some of you but I'd just as soon he went back to whatever pit he came from. Her skills with sex did seem to keep his look from bugging me much and the fishnets on her legs were cool. The sex was oral and straight but well done.

Scene Seven: Tawny, in the final scene of the film, took care of both Rick and Eric on a couch. The point of view was a bit original at first and it ended up with straight and then anal sex with the attractive young blonde. They ended it by coating her nicely and the scene was hot.

Summary: This was perhaps the best VCA release I've seen in months! There were nearly two hours of sex, great extras and a cast of very attractive women and capable men. For those who hate features, there was even a wall-to-wall sex option to skip the acting parts although I challenge you to watch it straight through at least once since it's well worth doing so. I'm rating this as a very solid Highly Recommended that was closing in on the top spot rapidly. It seems as though Mr. Passolini still has what it takes, as does VCA, to remain competitive, no matter what a handful of grumpy critics say. While I would've preferred a bit less stylish camera work (slow motion is rarely warranted in my book), there was very little to complain about here and a lot of fuck for the buck.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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