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Warning: I Fuck On The First Date!

Studio: Other » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 1/21/04

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Warning: I Fuck On The First Date!

Metro Interactive/FusXion

Genre: Gonzo

Director: Pat Myne

Cast: Britney Foster, Pat Myne, Anika Fox, Frank Gunn, Brooke Balentyne, Jon Dough, Sabrina Snow, Mark Davis, Honey

Length: 121 minutes

Date of Production: 4/10/2003 to 4/17/2003 (box), 2/6/2003 to 2/15/2003 (credits)

Extra's: trailers, photogallery, pop shot menu, spam, cardboard slipcover
Note: There was no Behind the Scenes footage as advertised on the DVD case!

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in the industry standard 1.33:1 full frame color, as originally shot. The picture this time usually looked like it had a washed out look. For gonzo porn, it looked pretty good but the angles and editing detracted from the heat as well. The audio was presented in stereo English and was a bit more mixed than I prefer. The vocals being the important thing, I noticed that the levels were often too low. Once the sex started, it was usually okay but this was one aspect that needed work.

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Body of Review: Men often like women that are sexually promiscuous, seeing as how they want sex and all. This being the case, Metro decided to put their new director, Pat Myne, to work capturing women who liked having sex on the first date. The title of the show was, amazingly enough, Warning: I Fuck On The First Date!. I wish all women came with labels stating how long they'd take to engage in sexual activity, I might even hold out for a gal that waits a half dozen dates before sex, but reality being a harsh mistress, I'm not going to hold my breathe. If you're interested in seeing a gonzo porn shot by one of the nicer former performers in the jizz bizz, here's a breakdown of the scenes by cast:

Scene One: Britney, a hot looking 23 year old with a curvy body, and Pat, her then-significant other, had a scene together after a short interview outside. They took the act inside, unfortunately, and had sex in what looked to be a low-rent apartment. She masturbated and used a toy on herself to warm up and Pat stepped in to take good care of her. She gave him a great blowjob before riding him like a stallion in several positions, including anal. I only wish the audio had been better to capture her dirty talk. Whew!

Scene Two: Anika, another cutie, showed off her crotch to the camera and then the rest of her before jumping Frank on a bed. He gave her some good head as well as hammered her lean frame as hard as she could take it before the pop shot. This scene had a lot of energy but not nearly as much chemistry as the previous scene. Still, it was pretty good and worth watching.

Scene Three: Brooke, a gal that used to make a lot of movies for the folks at Red Light District (really hot ones too) had her interview and showed her goodies just in time for Jon to take charge of her. Keeping in mind that she has pretty much done it all and gone on record as saying she enjoys really hardcore sex acts, he found a kindred spirit because he's progressed to liking that kind of thing too over the years. The straight, oral and anal were well done and she appeared to like it all as they screwed into oblivion. The two could barely keep up with one another as they screwed with not only heat but chemistry as well. As much as I liked Britney, Brooke took the best scene award here. Yum!

Scene Four: Sabrina, an average looking teenager (by porn standards), had a scene with Mark after doing the interview, flashing session. They did the deed on a couch and while her body was curvy and cute, her hair wasn't, lowering the minimal heat that existed. The sex was mechanical and she seemed to be going through the motions, which stood out especially due to the fact that her scene followed the best of the DVD.

Scene Five: Honey, a professional stripper before entering porn, showed her curvy body off in public a bit during the interview (at a mall), before going back to an indoor room with Mark. They did the oral action you'd expect and she took straight and anal like a champ. The only real problem I had was similar to the last scene, it seemed like she was going through the motions during most of the scene. Maybe it would've looked better if I sped it up a bit as some people seem to do but it just didn't approach the first and third scene of the show.

Summary: The DVD started off with a bang and hit it's peak midway through but the last two scenes really dragged it down. I think Pat is going to be a talented director when he finds his own niche but this release is one you'll think of as a Rent It unless you're a fan of several of the performers. By all means, this is better than most of the gonzo Metro released several years ago but compared to some of the stuff coming out of so many other companies these days, this is more of a good first step towards the pack than anything else.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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