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Porn Reviews » Adult DVD Reviews » Real Celeste, The

Real Celeste, The


Studio: Vivid » Review by Michael Vega » Review Date: 2/6/04
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XCritic's Advice: Rent It




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the Real Celeste

Genre: Compilation

Cast: Celeste, Nancy Vee, Bobby Vitale, Mark Davis, Steven St. Croix, Woody Long, Brad Armstrong, Rocco Siffredi & Colt Steele.

Length: approx 2hrs

Extras: Behind the Scenes featurette, Bonus Room [3 extra scenes], Photo Gallery, Previews & something called "More Adult Fun" - which turns out to be all the forced phone sex ads. Whoo Hoo! How much fun is THAT?

Audio/Video Quality: The video is 1.33:1 full frame ratio. The picture quality and audio is inconsistent throughout. The ten scenes are culled from seven different films. The majority are shot on video and have acceptable audio and video.

Here's the play-by-play:

Scene One ["Bad Girls #6" featuring Bobby Vitale]: We waste no time getting down to business as Celeste quickly does away with Bobby's jeans to give him some head -- which goes on for a minute too long [or looking at Bobby's equipment...should I say "short"?]  But it was okay. I found other things to keep my interest...for one, Celeste's ass with her black thong peeking out. After what seems like an eternity, Bobby stands Celeste up and makes her face the wall so he could bend down to return the favor. After a very brief period of time, he does her from behind. We then fade to the next position which sees Celeste, her jeans still around her ankles, with her legs on Bobby's shoulders and Bobby hammering away. Just ONE minute later, we see Bobby straddling Celeste to deliver a shot on her chest. Even though there was NO condom, this was a bad way to start the disc. The blowjob went on for what felt like an eternity and there just wasn't that much vaginal sex.

Scene Two ["Bedlam" featuring Mark Davis]: We join Mark and Celeste in a furniture warehouse making out on a plastic covered mattress. Celeste is looking MUCH hotter than the last scene. Perhaps it's her red dress. Or red bra. Or maybe that red thong. Nah. I'm sure it's a combo of all three PLUS Celeste. With her thong still on, Mark dives between her legs to deliver a little oral stimulation. After some head from Celeste, Mark lays back on the bed and Celeste mounts his condom covered member. Some time later, Celeste gets on her knees so Mark can do her from behind. The scene ends with Celeste's legs up on Mark's shoulders while he does her missionary before shooting in her mouth. At the end of the scene, there's some weird voice-over that could've been dubbed out. Also, the music for this scene seemed to be a one minute piece of music that was on a continuous loop. If it had drowned out the annoying crinkling sound of the plastic, it might not have been that bad. Other than the aforementioned audio issues, this was a pretty good scene.

-- sponsored by --

Scene Three ["Borderline" featuring Steven St. Croix]: Celeste and Steven are already naked and kissing in bed when the scene starts. While she's giving him some head, a brunette maid walks in and catches an eyeful. This, of course, prompts her to lower one side of her top and start fooling around with her nipples. Steven notices her and tells her come back later. Huh? Weird. Honeymoon or not, I would've told her to finish taking off that dress and jump on in. But i'm funny that way, I guess. So, after dismissing the maid, Celeste resumes sucking until Steven decides he's had enough and puts his tongue to work. When he stops, Steven wants her to beg him for it. She asks him why should she beg for it and that she's a "really bad girl" and that he should spank her. And spank her, he does. After smacking her ass red, you'd figure that next up would be some doggy since she was already on her knees, right? Wrong. After a quick fade, we see Celeste laying on her back with one leg in the air and Steven between her thighs. While she's on her side being nailed from behind by Steven, the maid makes another appearance. This time she brings a plunger with her as she begins to start plunging. That doesn't last for long as she hikes up her dress and starts rubbing like mad while watching Steven & Celeste get busy. She eventually walks out, right before Steven shoots on Celeste's stomach. This was a HOT scene. It might've been better had it been a threesome. On "technical" note: a couple times during the scene, if you looked in the background, you'd see the shadow of the boom mike.

Scene Four ["Caught In the Act" featuring Nancy Vee & Woody Long]: WELL. This scene begins with Celeste in a sexy lacy pink bra BLINDFOLDED. How's that for a beginning? Celeste is sitting on a wicker couch and Nancy is pulling down her bra to lick her nipples. After some hesitation on Celeste's part, Nancy eventually gets her panties pulled down and begins licking her. Woody, who's been watching all this action, is visibly aroused and he grabs Celeste's hand and puts it on his crotch, but Celeste quickly pulls her hand back. Nancy continues to give her tongue a workout. Next we see Celeste sitting on the floor between Woody's legs [he's sitting on the chair and she's still blindfolded on the floor]. Nancy commands Celeste to start licking her. When she starts, Woody begins fingering Celeste. Steven walks over, nods to Woody and hands him a camera. Woody then hands the camera to Nancy, who begins taking pictures of Celeste giving Woody head. Celeste then gets on top of Woody and begins riding him while Nancy is rubbing herself. It's not long before Woody shoots on Celeste's chest. I was disappointed that Nancy wasn't penetrated, but all in all, this wasn't a bad scene.

Scene Five ["Caught In the Act" featuring Steven St. Croix]: Celeste, who's wearing some SEXY black lingerie, begins this scene with some head for Steven. After a quick licking, she bends over and Steven does her from behind [with a condom]. The action moves to the couch when Celeste lays on her back and spread 'em wide for Steven before he shoots on her chest. Blah. Not bad, but not great.

Scene Six ["Exposure" featuring Brad Armstrong]: I'm thinking Celeste has this thing for pink. Not that it bothers me...it's just an observation. After undressing her, Brad quickly puts his tongue to work - with some sexy encouragement from Celeste. Celeste then does away with her bra and dives down to give Brad some good head while he reaches over to finger her. Brad lays back on the desk and Celeste gets her tanlined ass on top of him to go for a condomless ride. They switch, and Brad's gives her a good missionary workout. After some time, Celeste bends over to let Brad do her doggystyle until he shoots in her mouth. Plain and simple, this scene was HOT.

Scene Seven ["Exposure" featuring Rocco Siffredi]: With a porno flick on the screen behind 'em, Rocco begins giving her a workout with his tongue. Celeste drops Rocco's pants and attacks him with a fierceness. After some time, Celeste lays on her side and lifts a leg up so Rocco can get in between for some condomless fun. She then gets on her back so Rocco can get in deeper. Rocco lies back so Celeste can ride him. Which she does. HARD. We end with some more deep missionary before Rocco shoots on Celeste's face. Even though there was some spit swapping that I didn't necessarily care for, this was another HOT scene. 

Scene Eight ["Nylon" featuring Rocco Siffredi]: Rocco again. Celeste's giving him head again. She's wearing some highly unattractive lingerie/nylon contraption while Rocco plays with her boobs before getting a taste between her legs. It's not long before Celeste has one leg up and Rocco is standing doing her from behind. All the while she's wearing this nasty lingerie/nylon contraption. Ugh. After the fade, Celeste is now riding him condomless. We end this scene with some missionary before Rocco shoots on her mouth and chest. I'm amazed that the same two performers from the previous HOT scene could turn in such a lackluster performance. And it wasn't just that ugly nylon thing she was wearing. NEXT.

Scene Nine ["Nylon" featuring Steven St. Croix]: Celeste is wearing a short black wig and a tight white dress with some ugly white lingerie/nylon contraption [similar to the black one in the last scene]. She walks Steven over to a ladder and they begin stroking each other through their clothes, until Steven's tool makes an appearance. Celeste removes her wig and says something about how she didn't wanna let him go and she'd learn to make his fetish a part of their lives. Ugh. She then begins giving him head and he gets a quick taste before giving her some condomless doggystyle. This scene, similar to the last, ends with some missionary and a shot to Celeste's stomach. I REALLY wasn't feeling this scene. Besides being too short, I guess i'm just NOT a nylon fetishist. Actually, that's not right. I DO like nylon stockings. But, the stockings in these scenes are similar to what I imagine old ladies at a retirement home wearing. NO thank you.

Scene Ten ["Reckless Passion" featuring Colt Steele]: Colt and Celeste are already engaging in some foreplay when we join 'em. She rips off Colt's boxer briefs to give him some head. After his tongue spends a minute or two between her legs, he's handed a condom [boo!] to put on. Celeste then spreads her legs and Colt puts that rubber to work. Both missionary and doggystyle. We end this lukewarm scene with a shot on Celeste's ass.

Bonus Room:
Scene One ["Reckless Passion" featuring Celeste & Ariana]
Scene Two ["Trouble Maker" featuring Celeste, Asia Carrera & Eric Price]
Scene Three ["Trouble Maker" featuring Celeste, Asia Carrera & Tammi Ann]

Behind the Scenes of Photo Club.

Summary: Celeste is a performer that goes all out in her scenes. Unfortunately, she picked the wrong plastic surgeon for her breast implants. During some scenes, the scars on her areola were distracting [the two scenes from "Exposure" come to mind]. However, it's her enthusiasm that saves them. In fact, it helped make those scenes the hottest on the disc. I am wondering about the scene choices. Out of the ten scenes, there are three instances where two scenes are from the same movie. On other Vivid compilations, there's only one instance of two scenes from the same movie. The first thought that came to my mind was that Celeste didn't do too many flicks for Vivid. Wrong. This compilation doesn't even scratch the surface of the work she's done for Vivid.

In the end this disc rates a Rent It.



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