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I Want to Fuck You... Onboard

Studio: Private » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 2/9/04

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

I Want To Fuck You… Onboard: The Best of Private 52


Genre: Compilation

Director: varied by scene

Cast: Dina Pearl, Maria Bellucci, Leslie Taylor, Nick Lang, Ines, Yelena Schieffer, Bruno Sx, Philippe Soine, Suzanna (Alexa Weix), Bianca, Niky, Karina, Mickaela, David Perry, Jack Slater, Bob Terminator, Maya Gold, Sandra Russo, Maria, Tina Time, Sebastian Barrio, Greg Centauro, Francesco Malcom, Jodie Moore, Joachim, Eva, Frank Gun, Kyra, Sheena Pearl, Mandy Bright, Joe Lemon, Alissa
Non-sex by Joey Silvera

Length: 124.5 minutes

Date of Production: 12/2003 (compilation only, the scenes varied)

Extra's: four minute long photoshoot, eight minute long Behind the Scenes sex with Alissa and Jodie Moore, trailers, photogallery, Production Notes, double sided DVD cover, cast biographies

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in the industry standard 1.33:1 ratio full frame color in all but three scenes. While some scenes were slightly grainy, the vast majority of these scenes looked really good. I saw no compression artifacts and the minimal video noise in the rest of the scenes wasn't a problem for me. The audio was presented in the typical 2.0 Dolby Digital English (with options for other languages and subtitles). There was some dubbing and a few tracks where the music was too loud but otherwise it was a solidly produced audio track too.

Body of Review: I watch a lot of compilations when reviewing. Needless to say, many of them are okay as a rental but the replay value often sucks (in a bad way) due to technical limitations or the lack of attractive performers. One exception to this rule is movies from higher end companies like Private. The last compilation I remember watching from them was Best Of Asian Girls and it had a lot to like. Thankfully, I got in their latest release, I Want To Fuck You…Onboard, the 52nd compilation in their long running series, and it was pretty good too.

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The action centered on showing usually attractive gals having hardcore sex on the decks of ships at sea or near land. With nearly two hours of action, I thought it was a pretty good set of scenes with some nice extras. Here's a breakdown of the scenes by original movie title, director, date of production, cast and types of sexual activity: Scene One: Santo Domingo Connection: D-Kovi, 6/2000: Dina, Maria, Leslie, and Nick had a scene after one of the women is kidnapped and taken aboard the small boat. The bunch all swap spit and have oral before straight and a single double penetration with facials. It wasn't the best scene of the show but it was okay.

Scene Two: Indecency: D-Pierre Woodman: 6/1998: Ines and Yelena took on both Bruno and Philippe on the deck of the boat. Initially, the gals seduced the men by lying out with hot bikinis and spreading their legs for a good show. The guys respond much like I would have and are soon getting their dicks sucked by the women. They then had straight sex and one of the gals took it anally as well. There was some energy here although the chemistry wasn't as good and a brief DP took place before the guys unloaded on the women.

Scene Three: Reality 14: The Girls Of Desire: D-Kovi: 6/2002: Suzanna, Bianca and Niky, had a scene with Nick on the deck of a boat in a shallow cove. I thought it was funny when the narrator mentioned the "four women" but slipups happen. The gals started off by orally warming each other up in a daisy chain and Captain Nick took advantage of the situation by horning in on it later. He popped in two of their mouths and the scene included a technical DP but his penis stuck with oral and straight.

Scene Four: Club Seychelles: D-Michel Ricaud: 8/1995: Karina and Mickaela had a scene with David, Jack, and Bob, had a scene in front of Joey while they were on a good sized yacht. It started with lesbian action until the guys came to them and then there was everything you'd expect of a Private scene; oral, straight, anal and a DP. I really wasn't into this scene though as it didn't work for my tastes.

Scene Five: Paradise Island: D-Alessandro Del Mar: 10/2002: Maya, Sandra, Alexa, Maria, Tina, Sebastian, Greg, and Francesco had a big onboard orgy at sea in a cove during what looked to be an oncoming storm. The women were great looking and the sex very warm as they all took various partners and seemed to have fun. Most of the sex was oral and straight but still plenty fun to watch.

Scene Six: The Other Side Of Pleasure: D-Antonio Adamo: 2/2002: Jodie, a major hotty that I missed seeing last month (she left to run for office in Australia), and the muscular Joachim, had a scene on a ship at sea. I should've loved the scene except it looked out of focus and there's no excuse for that. Pass!

Scene Seven: Reality 10: The Ladder Of Love: D-Gianfranco Romagnoli: 2/2002: Eva, David, and Frank, had a scene on the deck of a large schooner at sea. She looked exceptionally hot and the guys seemed to think so too although David spent the most time with her. They did everything, including a double penetration, and she appeared to have fun. I just wish she didn't pose for the camera as much as she did.

Scene Eight: Tropical Heat: D- Alessandro Del Mar: 6/2002: Kyra, Sheena, Greg, and Joachim had a scene at sea too. The two blondes were expert in their sexual skills and the guys knew how to keep their wood ready in this lovely setting. There was a lot of oral and straight sex but they never ganged up on either of the gals like in most Private movies. It was a warm scene.

Scene Nine: Reality 8: Summer Love: D- Gianfranco Romagnoli: 2/2002: Maria and Mandy had a warm lesbian scene together. It started off with the two masturbating themselves and then the lickfest began. It was way too short but fun while it lasted.

Bonus Scene One: Shooting A Photoset: D-Pierre Woodman: 1/1995: Karina, Bob, Jack, and Joe had a short photoshoot together with a bit of sexual activity taking place.

Bonus Scene Two: The Other Side Of Pleasure: D-Antonio Adamo: 2/2002: Jodie and Alissa had some fun but the weird camera setup limited what you could see. Still, they looked hot and anything was better than nothing.

Summary: I think this one was worth a rating of Recommended based on the cast, the action, the extras and technical quality. If a few more scenes had more chemistry, and Jodie's scene hadn't been messed up, I might have raised that level but even then, it wasn't quite good enough to gain a coveted high recommendation. The scenery was always nice even if the gals weren't all hotties and if you enjoy shipboard sex, you'll appreciate this one.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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