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Porn Star Idol


Studio: Platinum X Pictures » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 2/27/04


XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Porn Star Idol

Platinum X Pictures

Genre: Gonzo, Contest

Director: Jewel De'Nyle

Cast: TC, Jewel De'Nyle, Jacklyn Lick, Spice Lee, Ron Jeremy, Casey Star, Silver Fox, Summer Star, Jay Summer, Paul, Bisexual Britni, Wayne Canon, Billy Big Rooster, Wade Sunset, Hussein Fatal, Taylor, Michael Stefano, Roberto, Omar Curtis

Length: 119 minutes

Date of Production: 7/5/2003, 7/6/2003

Extra's: photogallery, trailers, biography of Jewel De'Nyle, double sided DVD cover

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color that is the industry standard these days. For the most part, the picture was clear and well lit with only a bit of grain in some scenes. The fleshtones were accurate and only a bit of video noise popped up from time to time. I saw no compression artifacts and the editing was competent. The audio was presented in stereo English with no separation between the channels. It was also clear and while a few moments were on the low side, it was pretty good too.

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Body of Review: Those of you that watch mainstream television are probably aware of a stupid little show called American Idol. The show has people from all across the country competing in singing contests in order to win a recording contract. The first season of the showed ended with a ringer, Kelly Clarkson(?) winning and it was only later that she was found to have already had a contract previously. The show is set up to allow three celebrity judges, pop diva Paula Abdul, Randy, and a mean guy named Simon all put the singers through the paces, and offering them feedback at the end of their song (much like the old gong show). Typically, Simon tells the performer how poorly they sang, how unattractive they were, or how they shouldn't quit their day job with the other two adding some placating advice. After a series of preliminary rounds, the home audience votes on whom they want to continue and at the end, a single winner emerges. Like many movies, shows and events, a porn parody was a given and this time it was presented by the nice folks at Platinum X Pictures, Porn Star Idol.

The show was hosted by internet personality, Bisexual Britni. For those who are unfamiliar with the gal, she's known for kinky sex and a girl next door (to a trailer park) look. She interviews the contestants and they perform in front of porn icons, Jewel De'Nyle, Ron Jeremy and Jacklyn Lick. Each brings their own attitude to the show, Ron tries to lighten up the mood with his humor, Jewel often provided some visual stimulation, and Jacklyn played with the contestants a lot.

The primary segment of the porn version had the guys and gals (way too many guys here) jerk off with the help of the judges. Britni interviewed them while naked on a couch and then they strut their stuff. Some of them did much better than the others, with a few unable to get hard at all (talk about a sucky reputation they'll have to live with for the rest of their lives). At the end, Jewel was the one to give the critique, generally letting them down really easily, unlike her counterpart on the television show. The sole moment of contention came at the end of the first day when loser Casey starts to argue that the lights were too hot, causing his poor performance. He came with his attractive girlfriend (she should dump him based on his whiny attitude) who fared much better and made it to the second day. Jewel and the others tried to let him down easily but he was acting like a bitch and should've been escorted out of the building at that point.

The next day brought a few more scenes but they were uneventful (Taylor looked harsh but actually gave a blowjob) and the segment ended with Britni getting bukkaked by the guys (they jerked off onto her). The two winners, Taylor and Jay, were not the best performers of the show but given the opportunity to have a scene anyway. Jewel joins the two for a really weak scene (keep in mind that I like Jewel and the fault was not hers) and it ends after he had a bunch of performance problems. There was oral and straight sex only with a touch of lesbian to round it out but nothing worth watching twice.

Summary: Ron Jeremy wasn't at his funniest and Jewel seemed too subdued to really get the show rolling. Jacklyn didn't seem to be an integral part of the activities (her company, co-owned with Serenity, Las Vegas Novelties, supplied some great toys) and I thought there were too many men compared to women but it was fun to watch once. I'm suggesting it as a Rent It to fans of porn looking for something other than a stroke flick since there really wasn't a lot of material to get off to here. I'm not going to rag on the guys who couldn't perform on camera, it's hard work, but admittedly, having a naked Jewel De'Nyle in front of me would have likely yielded the opposite effect (you'd be able to see me blow my nut unzipping my pants). I think Britni seemed out of place too. She's not the interview type and only appeals to a limited mindset even when she's at her best. For the most part, Platinum X Pictures has been improving their movies, but this one was made more as a curio than a porno.

Note: You can see recent candid shots of some of these performers by visiting: My Photo's and read about their antics at 2004 AEE Show.


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You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon



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