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Hollywood Guru

Studio: Adam & Eve » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 2/29/04

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Hollywood Guru

Adam & Eve/Ultimate Pictures

Genre: Feature

Director: Nicholas Steele

Cast: Taylor Lynn, Lauren Phoenix, Randy Spears, Giselle, Steven St. Croix, Natalia Wood, Joey Ray, Tony Sexton
Non-sex role by Jesse V.

Length: 79 minutes

Date of Production: 10/29/2003

Extra's: two bonus scenes; one from Extreme Behavior with Aria and Monique Alexander, and the other from Erosity with Nicole Sheridan, Voodoo and Sean Michaels, 17.5 minute long Behind the Scenes featurette, photogallery

Condoms: Yes

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in 1.85:1 widescreen color, not the usual full frame porno's are known for, but the picture didn't look any better than most other releases. For a movie shot in High Definition 24P Widescreen Format, you'd think the movie would look great but apparently, the company is still working on it. There was a lot of grain and video noise, particularly in the night scenes. The audio was presented in Dolby Digital 2.0 English stereo and there did appear to be some separation between the channels although the vocals varied a lot. The special effects used here also interfered with the quality of the movie so buyer beware.

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: For a number of years, it has been postulated that Adam & Eve made porn features solely for couples, and skipped out on the rest of the market. I've never believed that since I have seen a number of movies by the company over the years that anyone could enjoy (except maybe a handful of guys that like kiddy porn or other really gross crap). That said, the company has been definitely moving towards the lighter end of the market, a move that goes completely against what everyone else is doing, and may prove successful if everyone decides that hardcore porn is no longer wanted. Such is their latest release, Hollywood Guru, a story that sort of follows the plot of the mainstream movie, The Guru. The plot was actually barely there but had a couple listen to the ramblings of a swami type who preaches various words of wisdom in order to get laid (well, sort of). In any case, there were only five scenes and none of them was exceptionally warm but here's a breakdown of those scenes by cast:

Scene One: Taylor, the blonde cutie on the front DVD cover, and Lauren, a gal with slightly darker hair but a similarly shaped body, had a lesbian scene that started off as an innocent foot massage. The two moaned about their significant others being too tired to service them so they did each other instead. The sex was mostly oral with lots of stylish edits that companies mistakenly believe couples enjoy. The sex took place on a couch with a leopard print and looked fun but the two gals really didn't impress me with their skill. They used a patterned vibrator on one another too but it looked less passionate than it should have.

Scene Two: Lauren, still looking lean and fit, crept into bed and started blowing Randy. He woke up with a smile on his face and joined her for some oral shenanigans. The couple then boned and she rubbed his penis with her foot before he jerked a load onto the feet. It wasn't a bad scene, just somewhat limited.

Scene Three: Giselle, a short curvy gal, and Steven, had a scene in a chair at night. She blew him and her boned her until he popped his load onto her. It was an okay scene but probably designed to please someone who hasn't watched much porn in his or her life. It was oral and straight only with a minimal pop shot.

Scene Four: Natalia, an average looking gal with a lean body, got aggressive with Joey on a large bed. She took control and blew him, not letting him lift a finger before she climbed onto his mouth so he could eat her out. She then switched positions and straddled his penis, so the two could bone for a while. They changed positions a few times and he popped off on her back to finish it. There was some modest amount of chemistry but not a lot.

Scene Five: Taylor, still looking cute as a button, took care of Tony in a hot tub at night. They did oral and straight with some energy and chemistry but appeared to hold back too much to make the scene a good one. The editing didn't help, nor did the music, and it ended when he rubbed out a load onto her fine ass.

Summary: I wanted to like this one but found myself thinking it was barely harder than what I'd see on late night cable. The gals looked attractive and the settings were fine but the technical limitations combined with boring sex made me think it was worth a rating of Skip It. Someday, people will point to movies like this and laugh that someone would suggest it as a couples movie when true couples either hate porn (almost always hating lesbian sex too) or want a bit of variety in their porno's.

Note: You can see recent candid shots of some of these performers by visiting: My Photo's and read about their antics at 2004 AEE Show.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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