Strap-On Bitches

Don Goo Enterprises

Genre: Strap On

Director: None willing to take credit

Cast: Milena, Igor, Solange, Bruno, Patricia, Fabrizo/Fabbio, Elisa, Tiago

Length: ~60 minutes (there was no time code)

Date of Production: 10/3/2003 (box), 9/16/2003 (credits)

Extra's: There were no extras at all.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color that has been the standard in the porn world for years. There was some grain but the lighting was good and the minor issues with losing focus not frequent. There were some regular compression artifacts and moments where the picture slightly froze up but they were extremely short and not too offensive. The audio was presented in PCM (pulse code modulated) rather than the more common (and higher quality) Dolby Digital. To be fair, aside from a bit of minor moaning on the part of the men getting planked, there wasn't anything on the audio track worth noting. If you like music, dirty talk, or other indications of sound, you'll be upset with this one.

Body of Review: Every once in a while I like to see hot lesbian action, with beautiful gals going at one another using strap-on dildos. In anticipation of such action, I ordered Strap-On Bitches 1. Boy was I surprised! The movie actually had women using the strap-on dildos on men! Okay, I'm as open-minded as the next guy and figured I'd check this one out in case it had anything exceptionally interesting to see. For the most part, aside from some minor oral action, there was only a whole lot of men taking it up the butt. The women weren't anything I'd spend a lot of money on in real life, and the guys acted gay as could be, but if you're looking for something different, this sure fills the bill. Here's a breakdown of the scenes by cast, noting that none of the men got any pussy, aside from what they could taste:

Scene One: Milena, a bleached blonde with large breasts and a few extra pounds, took care of Igor's anal needs. They started off on the couch, making out and him getting an okay blowjob before she whipped out her large clear plastic dildo and made him suck it like a real dick. He seemed to have a lot of experience doing so and actually appeared to know more about giving a BJ than she did. In no time at all, the anal plundering began, with him taking the ~7" penis all the way up his butt (ouch!). She pumped away like a professional and he jerked off to completion after several positions.

Scene Two: Solange, a gal with brown hair and a few pounds of her own, walked into the spa while Bruno was splashing in the mini-pool. He licked her toes, ass, pussy and breasts before they moved the scene to a bed where he continued the oral action on her. She blew him for a little bit and then put on her strap-on dildo for him to service. She toyed with him, smacking his face with it a little bit, and then he sucked away in earnest. He wasn't as talented a cock smoker as Igor but he's seen a few up close and personal himself, by the likes of it. She lubed him up and started hammering away at his ass and he jerked to completion while in the reverse cowgirl position.

Scene Three: Patricia, a gal with red hair done up in cornrows and a very lean body, was next. She massaged Fabrizo and then let him play with her itty-bitty titties before letting him go down on her. He didn't seem to enjoy the taste of her crotch so she put her strap on dildo on, and let him suck on that. He did a better job at that and was soon being ridden hard by the average looking gal. It ended with him jerking off his load, much like the other scenes.

Scene Four: Elisa, a brunette with a lean body and what appeared to be implants, had Tiago service her strap on dildo early, not allowing for a lot of other action. Her dildo differed in that it was the flesh-colored plastic kind and in how it was shorter than the other style used in the movie. She looked bored in the early part of the scene and he only just started getting into it when he was being plowed deep by her. To be fair to her, she did give him a little head before she mowed his backdoor on a mattress placed on the floor. Much of the time, he looked in pain, as if to say "a real dick doesn't hurt so much" as if from experience.

Summary: This is very limited in terms of what it offers the viewing audience so I'm rating it as a Skip It unless you really want to see this specific type of action with nothing else. Perhaps if the women were hot or the action included a bit more variety, I'd have liked it more but that was not the case. If you enjoy seeing men take it hard though, this may be just what you want so act accordingly.

Note: You can see recent candid shots of porn performers by visiting: My Photo's and read about their antics at 2004 AEE Show.