Stuntgirl 2

Hustler/Clockwork Productions

Genre: Vignette

Director: Jack the Zipper

Cast: Mika Tan, Alec Knight, Kimberly Kane, Katrina Kraven, Lolita Redstocking, Jayna Oso, Jassie, Dee, Trent Soluri, Cytherea, Seth Dickens

Length: 57 minutes

Date of Production: 10/31/2004

Extra's: For most people, the best extra (heck, the only extra) will be the two deleted scenes that essentially were tease shots, one of Mika Tan and the other of a blonde in the woods of Baton Rouge. Mika masturbated a little but blondie only wiggled around for the entire time and was about as erotic as watching the local drunk dance with her clothes on. There was also a double sided DVD cover and some trailers with the usual spam to bug me.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Stuntgirl 2 was presented in the same 1.33:1 ratio full frame color it was recorded in by director Jack the Zipper for his production company, Clockwork Productions. It looked even worse than Stuntgirl 1, a movie that had far too many visual pretensions than your average porno. The lighting was bad, causing a lot of grain, and the special effects (like skipping frames, lighting, tint, and a host of others) reminded me of when I got my first videocamera twenty five years ago; I simply had to try out every effect, much to the chagrin of those I recorded. The colors were never properly adjusted and the composition of the shots reminded me of a saying involving an infinite amount of monkeys with an infinite amount of time writing Shakespeare (except in this case we're talking two monkeys and a couple of days). I'm sure people that skim through this one will tell you how artistic it is but as a nuts and bolts type of guy, I'm just trying to tell you to watch out for shills (like the first volume). The stereo audio track wasn't very solid in terms of the vocals (they were hollow and dynamically lame; even for porn) but I liked the twisted music track (and I tend to dislike music tracks on most porn).

Body of Review: There are times when I question the integrity of critics and one such time was when I heard that Stuntgirl 1 was up for numerous awards. I know that many in porn have the underlying desire of mainstream acceptance in the back of their minds (having spoken with scores of directors, producers, performers and the like) and all too often, a title will come out of nowhere to win out over what amounts to quality porn. I know tastes vary but there are times when a niche title is promoted far beyond the merits of the release and then some of the critics seem to mysteriously jump on the bandwagon as they shill out their souls to gain favor. Well, I haven't heard much about the sequel, Stuntgirl 2, but given what happened last time, I'm sure the same old hacks will be gearing up to cheer it on and that's a shame. The movie is a collection of visually assaulting images that mostly lack any erotic heat, any continuity, and any of the technical values most fans prefer to see (relying on grain, special effects, and a smoke & mirrors approach to make people think some great "vision" took place during the making of the movie). This one did have a few moments of heat but considering it lasted under an hour, had about as much erotic content as a light R movie from late night cable, and looked like the director was on something when he edited it, all I can say is to read the scene breakdowns or simply skip this one altogether because I could rail against it for days and not run out of bad things to say about it:

Scene One: Mika Tan, a fairly popular Asian gal, was up first in a darkened room as she blew and was screwing Alec Knight. I liked how playful she could be and her energy levels were high but the camera work detracted from her presence almost as much as it lowered the heat with the motel room bed coming off as cheaper than I expect from the mighty Hustler Corporation. It ended when he jerked off onto her face and she played with his dick some more.

Scene Two: Kimberly Kane, the blonde in suspenders on the front DVD cover, and brunette Katrina Kraven, the gal beside the red car in butch clothes on the front DVD cover, were up next in a lesbian scene filmed somewhere around Portland Oregon (the home of DVD Talk). I've seen these two gals give some heated, passionate performances since they started making movies but this one lacked on several levels. I liked the playfulness and there were bursts of energy to be seen but they were very inconsistent and I'm willing to bet that you had to be there to appreciate the coupling. I hated the way it moved from the shed to the backyard almost as much as the use of a handgun in Katrina's mouth (like that's a good idea these days) but maybe a few of you get off to that kind of thing.

Scene Three: Lolita Redstocking, a brunette stripper from Portland, started off the next scene with what amounted to a naked dance about as exciting as watching myself in the mirror (sorry if I sound jaded but I've seen better dances at third tier clubs in Houston from zoned out gals wasted on their choice of drug). Kimberly Kane and Katrina Kraven were among the audience, with the others uncredited, and it all led to Kimberly taking the stage in order to show Lolita how it's done. For the record, no one had sex in this scene and Kimberly's moves blew away Lolita's by a wide margin (why Jack didn't showcase her giving a striptease is beyond me).

Scene Four: Jayna Oso, Jassie, Dee, all started off this scene by playing strip poker as Kimberly danced on a stage. The men of the scene were Alec Knight and Trent Soluri and while Jayna and Jassie looked very fine, the visuals hampered my enjoyment of the action. From the initial lesbian trio to the blowjob action (there was no actual sexual intercourse here: i.e.: no fucking), it wasn't the worst display of the show but there was nothing having any replay value and the cast have all done far better elsewhere (at Hustler and other companies).

Scene Five: Cytherea, with her brunette mane of hair, took on Seth Dickens and Alec Knight on a bed in a cheap motel room (at least that what it looked like). She did oral and got some boning action before they both jerked off to her face but the icy blue contacts (like those used by the Shaolin Monks on the original Kung Fu series) didn't help add any heat and she appeared to be going through the motions. What a great way to end a train wreck of a porno.

Summary: Stuntgirl 2 was the bottom of the Hustler Video barrel, earning a rating of Skip It more readily than almost any other movie to date. I could get off to Salo easier than this and that speaks volumes as to the lack of quality the DVD had. I don't blame Hustler for trying to find something more cutting edge than they have relied on the past few years but Stuntgirl 2 was one of those titles that will remain in my head as Worst of the Year for many years running. The technical values were poor, the cast shown in perhaps their worst possible light, the wasted opportunities endless, and even though I wanted to like it due to the location it was shot in (and some of the cast being favorites of mine), I have to give this one a made up rating of DVD Talk Terribly Lame Porno as I should have done for the initial release. In short, Stuntgirl 2 proves that badly done "artistic porn" is worse than even the generic porn released by low end companies as the only way this'll get you off is if one of the cast members gives you a freebie while you watch it. To sum it up in two letters: P.U.

For greater, far better choices in porn, check out: 2004's Top Porn List and 2003's Top Porn List.