First Impressions:
Ever wish that your favorite horror movie would turn hardcore, and then suddenly shift into snuff? Ever wanted to see Leatherface pop a load in some biz-nitch's face before she died like a dead dog bloating in the road? Do your fantasies consist of a Rob Zombie retro recombination creating the ultimate amalgamation of carnality and creepy? Well, Jack The Zipper's latest opus, the appropriately named Squealer may just be the movie to satisfy your sickening urges. Engaging to look at, deplorable to defend and somewhere between erotic and retarded on the sexual scale, this backwoods S&M sleaze fest takes the concept of dirty girls doing disgusting things to new heights of harrowing horribleness.

Here you will see standard porn actresses demeaned, degraded and diminished, relegated to mere fuck factories for the unknown assailants who jab and stab them with their wicked wood. As an experiment in style, this is some arresting attempt. But for the nasty nookie it depicts, the borderline abusive attacks on these women, this is a near-abomination. Gonzo wishes it was this gross. J&M wonders why this movie wasn't part of their perverted oeuvre. Feeling like something serial killers use to push them over the edge into orgasm land while fantasizing about slaughter, this is unspeakably soiled stuff.

The story set up is simple. Four gals are driving along a deserted back road when their car breaks down. They find an abandoned house, make a nice little nook in the middle of the dingy living room, and get down to the business of babe-on--babe balling. In the middle of their mons munching, some dudes (named "The Cousins" in the credits) show up and start porking the pleasantness out of everything. Before you know it we see bondage, physical defilement, threats and imprisonment. As the non-linear narrative continues, each lady is put through the randy wringer, tortured and tormented to within an inch of the lewd life. This is rough stuff, putting even the glorified sexual battery of the Michael Stefano canon to shame.

The Sex Scenes:
It needs to be said upfront that the sex scenes are rather difficult to watch, and there are three main reasons for this. First, Mr. Zipper has decided to maintain his evocative and yet strangely surreal artistic aesthetic throughout the entire film. So the camera angles and editing are very arcane and antithetical to good porn production. Second, the faces of the men are never seen (in fact, these dudes never really get naked throughout the entire film). All we get is dick in dumper/douche with costuming covering up most of the machismo. Finally, Mr. Zipper tries to maintain the "narrative" nature of the experience by cutting back and forth between scenes. So one couple will begin copulating in a tool shed, and then we will suddenly jump to another pair porking in the parlor. The irritating leapfrog continues until we just don't care anymore whose zooming whom.

Though the DVD case claims there are eight scenes, there are really only five. Scenes 1, 3 and 5 are not really divided up, so it is impossible to tell when one set of actions is ending and another is occurring. It is easier to think of them as entire entities, since the sex is so scattered its near impossible to delineate the action:

Scene 1: Part 1 - Kimberly Kane, Audrey Hollander, Jassie, Smokie Flame, Felix - Part 2: add in Alec Knight, Scott Lyons, Scott Nails, Kris Slater, Otto Bauer
Acts Performed:Anal Fingering, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Salad Tossing, A to M, V to M, Tit Sucking, Blowjobs, Ball Action, Deep Throating, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, DP in the Reverse Cowgirl Mode, Doggy, Double Anal, Mish, DP in the Cowgirl Mode, Anal Pile Driver, Gaping, Alternating A to M, Alternating Fucking from Anal to Vaginal, Vaginal Gaping, Scissors, Superimposed $hots in Mouth, $hot on Face
Score: 1.5 out of 5

Hoping to start off with a bang - a GANG bang - but ending up delivering a decidedly unruly and non-erotic helping of hardcore, Squealer's opening scene is static and dull. There is just too much going on here without any real rhyme or reason. It is almost as if Mr. Zipper simply let eight horny ass porn stars loose on a set and said "get to fuckin'". As a result, the camera work is jumpy and slipshod, missing more moments than it captures. And then there are the performers. The gals seem glad to be getting it any way they can, but once the men arrive with their element of anonymity, everything turns into a repugnant rape fantasy. It's dark and dreary and passion is replaced with panic. As free-for-alls go, this one is more atrocious than arousing - and the movie as a whole only gets worse from here.

Scene 2: Kimberly Kane, Jassie
Acts Performed:Bondage, Lesbianism, Salad Tossing, Tongue Fucking, Face Sitting, Blowjobs, Deep Throating, Reverse Cowgirl, Cowgirl, Doggy, $hot in Ass with Oral Cleanup, $hot in Mouth
Score: 1.5 out of 5

Yet another example of where style screws up the sex. Mr. Zipper uses a split screen technique here to keep the couples contained in the same shot, and it's disorienting to try and follow two completely different sequences of XXX action at the same time. Kimberly completely steals the show as it is, doing just about anything she can to make the action aggressive and interesting. There are times when you wonder just why she is going to such lengths to please a person obviously intent on harming her, but that doesn't stop the distressed damsel from deep throating cock and accepting large dicks up her love canal. Like almost every sequence in Squealer, the flesh proves it is more than willing - it's the style and the substance that is incredibly weak.

Scene 3: Audrey Hollander, Smokie Flame, Kimberly Kane
Acts Performed:Bondage, Cunnilingus, Bouncy Basket Reverse Cowgirl, Sit and Spin, Blowjob, Doggy, Anal Mish, Implied A to M, Hair Pulling, Anal Doggy, DP in the Reverse Cowgirl Mode, Dueling Blowjobs, Ball Action, Face Fucking, Alternate A to M, Cowgirl, $hots in Face and Mouth
Score: 2 out of 5

Laid out like a veal about to be filleted, Audrey is tied up in the back of a station wagon. It looks like she's about to be buried alive. The first half of the scene is more about her trying to escape her fate than anything erotic. We also get a girl in a bouncy basket, with a strategic hole cut into the bottom. Once the supposed sensual action starts, it's jumbled and disjointed. This scene is all about demeaning the actresses. They are used and contused, fucked and shucked like interchangeable blowup dolls. Of course, the gals are even more grubby and grotty this time around, dirt and mung smeared all over their bruised and contused bodies. And just who is this supposed to appeal to again? Morticians? Forensics Pathologists?

Scene 4:Kimberly Kane, Felix Vicious
Acts Performed: Typical Cabaret and Lesbian Action, Plastic Bag Suffocation, Chocking
Score: 1 out of 5

By now, there is literally nothing new an adult director can do to deliver a decent girl-on-girl scene. They can glam them up, smut them down or toss in more toys than any human should or could know what to do with, and it still stinks of a meandering male fantasy that aims more at the adolescent than the adult. Here, Ms. Vicious goes the plastic bag route in trying to tempt hardcore fans back to the fem-on-fem scenario with suffocation, and God knows who thought that approach was a good idea. There is more posing than pussy antics here, and even with a far less aggressive setting, the sex still feels filthy. This is just nasty for nasty's sake.

Scene 5:Smokie Flame, Audrey Hollander
Acts Performed: Blowjob, Gloved Fist Gagging, Pissing, Slapping, Ball Action, Choking, Basket Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Masturbation with 8 Fingers, Anal Pile Driver, Anal Scissors, Anal Doggy, A to M, Hair Pulling, Implied Enema, Garden Hose Head, Spitting, Tire Iron Action, Reverse Cowgirl with Spreading, Double Anal, Ball Sucking, Anal Cowgirl, Ass Slapping, $hot in Mouth
Score: 1.5 out of 5

Our last scene is also our most schizophrenic. It starts off with a new basket queen, then moves on to the removal of Audrey from the basement, then we go back to something that Smokie is doing. Eventually, it's all Audrey and her ever-open orifices. Odd angles are used, and equally weird settings are employed (Ms. Hollander gets plowed while sitting near a collection of rusty knives - talk about needing a tetanus shot!). Things start to get really antagonistic here, with Audrey's body and its various parts pushed around like Arabs after 9/11. And instead of explaining everything that happened, making some attempt at closure or completeness, the movie just ends. Here's betting that somewhere in Mr. Zipper's mind, there is a Squealer sequel in the works. Oh...goodie.

Disco Dirge Peter Meter Rating: 2 out of 5 (Rent It)
Cohabitation Certification: Withheld
The reason "Rent It" is used as the ultimate guide for this DVD is because of something called personal proclivity. The Dirge completely understands that, for certain people, this type of skanky, stanky porn is as erotic as a normal nookie session is for the vast majority of hardcore lovers. And yes, there will be those who take the advice, snatch up this crap, and then get really angry that they wasted all those lend/lease fees - not to mention the time. But the truth is that Mr. Zipper does craft a sinister, uncomfortable film. Unfortunately, he is also supposed to be inserting some XXX sexiness to get the man's hands slappin'. The Dirge doesn't believe there will be much meatpacking after a visit to this cabin of carnality. Moody or not, there is something that is just plain repulsive about Squealer. At least Ed Gein gave his victims of the courtesy of killing them (or digging them up after already being dead) before he violated their tender vittles. Here, keeping the girls alive is all part of someone's misguided monkeyshines. EW!