Genre: Celebrity Sex Tape

Director: Tom, Et. al.

Cast: Tom Sizemore, Et. al.

Length: 1hr 2 min

Production Date: Vivid, 2005

Extras: -=Bonus Scene, 35 minutes of Tom banging one decent looking gal. The scene seems to take place in one room (the hotel ?) over a period of hours and is shot mostly by Tom or the girl and at times a third party. Tom is exhausting to watch as he bangs away, cums, then bangs away again. And the girl, who could be cute but looks like a worn-down druggie (it's inferred that she does a line before the scene begins), is unresponsive and disinterested. Well documented and worth watching for sheer curiosity.=-

-=Interview, the much talked about 8 minute interview in which Tom claims to have bedded Paris Hilton. What's presented is mostly Tom yammering while a slideshow of stills from the flick pass by. It's not terribly exciting, except to hear Tom's characteristic tangents.=-

-=Previews=-

-=Spam=-

Audio/Video: The Audio of the film is suprisingly good. It is nothing more than 2.0 but the sounds are easily heard. Like so many home movies and amateur style porn, the dialogue is at times lost, usually occurring when the subjects are too far from the camera. Tom is heavy breather and pretty loud moaner, so we are treated to his vocals during most of the sex. We can hear most of what he says to the girls and the camera; only the casual chit-chat during breaks is lost.

The Video is also very good. The camera is usually on a tripod or set on a table so most shots are pretty still. The camera looks like a decent one (Tom wasn't cutting any corners in this respect) and so there must be some image stabilization built inside because even the hand-held portions are fairly steady. The night scenes are lit by a light mounted to the camera and so we get a decent picture and not the atrocious green haze seen in the Paris Hilton clips.

Body of Review:

Tom's sexual romp begins with the adorable starlet Jersey Jaxin in his hotel room. Jersey has a very tight, thin little body. She has a foreign look about her, but I can't quite place it--it could just be her California sun body and pretty round eyes. Her figure is perfect, maybe too thin for some, and her tits are only a couple of handfuls. A mounted camera catches the two of them watching TV and within moments they are making out and hustling Jersey out of her clothes. Having only watched the 'Bonus Scene' at this point and the first few minutes of the tape, it seems Tom is pretty fixated with using his mouth and tongue. He really jams his face into some crotch and roots around like a dog in a foxhole. This seems to drive Jersey crazy, as we can hear her off camera moaning and such. Tom is also interested in capturing himself on camera, often times using a handheld and focusing on his face as he eats the gal out. (Thankfully the camera shots are pieced together smoothly)

Jersey then straddles a vibrating mound which Tom can control with a wired remote. At times he is so entranced by what he is doing that his tongue pokes out the side of his mouth and he looks like a kid at the helm of his first train set. The two take a break, drink something, smoke some cigarettes and Tom goes into a short tirade about the LAPD. It's the usual stuff that is to be repeated later; he didn't do this, he didn't do that, fuck the cops, etc. What's most interesting about these moments, however, is how similar his on-screen characters are to his real life personality. He maintains that cool-headed, laid back, I'll-be-your-best-friend-but-god-help-you-if-you-fuck-with-me attitude.

Jersey and Tom play some in-room football and when a lamp crashes another girl from behind the camera joins the picture to clean up. Tom is the true player in scenes like this because he is dressed in Ugg boots, spandex bicycle shorts and shirt, with a black, knit cap on his head. He looks like a college kid at a frat party and its obvious he doesn't have to impress any of the girls here--the money's taking care of that. Tom jokes at the camera while the gals walk around. It's a lull in the sex, but mildly entertaining because of Tom's antics. He tries getting the girls to notice him, but they are busy with something else. Another girl joins the group and the threesome go at it on the floor. While Tom eats ass, one girl rides the vibrator and the other sucks him off. Here we get close and personal with our beloved celeb. We see Tom's long lost devotion to his ex Heidi Fleiss--her name is tattooed above his dick--we notice he is clean shaven, and, in a few minutes when he finally overcomes his flaccid state, we find that he is decently hung.

The next scene is in a bedroom shot at night. Despite this the video is very good. There are some heavy shadows but everything comes through clear. An unknown girl (we don't really see her face) is riding Tom's cock. She's giving him a good, slow workout that is pretty hot and at times Tom reaches around to pull her butt cheeks apart or to finger her ass. But what stands out most is what comes unexpected. Tom falls in and out of sleep and at one point near the end he can be heard snoring. Again, this puts a lull in the sex but is entertaining for the film. The action picks back up and Tom is spooning her. The lighting is a rather poor here; we can see the main action but most else is lost in darkness. And the footage is taken from someone standing bedside holding the camera above them, so it's not the best angle. There are about five major edits and Tom cums several times. The action is at its most intense and continuous here, lotsa pounding and dick sucking. But the low lighting and monotony of the scene make it the least enjoyable part.

In the next scene Tom has made a supermarket run and brought back the essentials; cigarettes and whip cream. He messily squirts cream on one of the gals and they lick it off. A three-way triangle is started on the bed while the other gal mans the camera. This is a good scene for what it's worth. The oral pleasure is gived and given and there's good time spent viewed from the bedside. Tom cums in one gal's mouth and then gives her a smooch. He returns the favor, eating her out and begging for her to cum in his mouth. The very final shot is Tom getting his dick sucked. He then jumps up to blow his load on the girl's faces but instead of the Hollywood moneyshot, we are given Tom's red, sweaty mug blowing off steam. This was a disappointing end, as the girls are off camera and we've already seen so much of Tom. But then again he is the star of the film, so what can we expect.

Stills:

One of
Tom's many confessions to the camera.

Tom in
his rock star moment

One of
the lucky ladies.

Not the
best of outfits, Tom.

Concluding Words: When I was young, I found, lost in a drawer at a friend's house a picture of his sister dressed only in jeans and a bra. The photo was not meant to be of a pornographic nature; instead it was a candid snapshot of her caught in a daily routine--probably one taken by an annoying younger brother. What I remember most of this picture was how bizarre it felt to see a person I knew so well in a half-state of nakedness. How strange it seemed that I had never considered this individual outside of the role of my friend's sister. Instead, here she was exposed, in an act I would otherwise never have witnessed.

This is a bit of how I feel about celebrity sex tapes. There's an intriguing appeal about them, but at the same time there's a mixture of surprise and disbelief. I can't say that I am Tom Sizemore's biggest fan. I'll leave that to the fanatical websters and their html shrines. But I have always enjoyed his roles, especially as Cody Nicholson in Tarrantino's (written) True Romance where he plays the good but tough cop. So, as a fan it's a bit strange to watch Tom go between the polar opposites of his personality. It's as though he's created an amalgam of every role and placed it into a single film. At times when he is addressing the camera and in one of his tirades he is irritated, loud, verbally forceful and a bit frightening. At others he is goofy, playful and somewhat lovable. Despite all of this what is perhaps most interesting about this film is not how or why these two poles shift between each other, but when. Sometimes it is just before the sex or shortly after. In a few cases it occurs during the acts and we are completely surprised when Tom takes time out of his thrusting to explain his hatred of the LAPD.

I didn't exactly come to this DVD expecting to be swept off my feet with eroticism. I came at it with the curiosity one has for gossip and tabloids; it's something people are talking about and I want to know for myself. But whatever the reason that brings you to this film be assured that this is the Tom we know and, perhaps in some small way, love. As per his big-budget films Tom offers quite a performance, remaining true to the art and proving that he just might very well be the hardest working man in Hollywood. The extras are fairly skimpy, despite a decent bonus scene. And for an amateur shot film with a 'big' name attached there's some pretty heated sex. This one comes Recommended.