Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre HD

Wicked Pictures

Genre: Comedy

Director: Jonathan Morgan

Cast: Stormy Daniels, Tommy Gunn, Jessica Drake, Voodoo, Kinzie Kenner, Scott Nails, Katja Kassin, Rita Faltoyano, Taryn Thomas, Rebecca Love, Manuel Ferrara, Katie Morgan, Kris Slater, Cherokee, Devon Michaels, Randy Spears, Nicole Sheridan, Keri Sable
Non-sex roles by: Mike Horner, others not credited

Length: 151 minutes

Date of Production: 6/30/2005

Extra's: The extras on the HD DVD version of the movie were slightly different than on the original standard definition release, still setting a new standard for porn but also challenging many mainstream releases at this time. When Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre was released a few years ago, the higher budget Pirates main claim to fame in this area was the inclusion of a second, enhanced, copy of the movie but in terms of other content, it was much better. Here's a brief description of the altered content for the new, FOUR DISC version, noting that the three extras discs were all SD formatted so they can be played on a regular DVD player, though they won't look as good if you have a decent HD DVD set up that up converts them on a good TV. The first disc was different in that it did not have the great audio commentary with Jonathan Morgan, Stormy Daniels, and Eric Masterson going into great detail on some aspects of the movie and generally having a great time. It also lost the many Easter Eggs (at least I couldn't find any on the first disc) too but they were only cute, dispensable extras anyway. On disc two, the extras were pretty much the same as on the original version of Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre; the first, and best, extra was a 49 minute long feature called The Horror: The True Tale of Camp Cuddly Pines which was essentially a behind the scenes look at the making of the movie with lots of footage of the cast and crew discussing the details. It was filmed by Mark Stone and was very well handled, making it very entertaining for fans of the cast (and director Jonathan Morgan). The following extra was a nearly 6 minute long short Casting the Victims where numerous performers read for the role of Megan, which eventually went to Jessica Drake. It was funny watching the gals without their make up trying to get the role but I think Jonathan made a good choice for the role, even though she was a contract gal at the company. This was followed by a 4 minute long Scouting A Massacre feature where Jonathan hit the road to find suitable spots to film the movie. There was then a short animated bit based on the internet creation Betty Bangs called Stormy Bangs Betty with a making of feature for it. You can see the picture below that tells you far better than words as to what it was all about.

The second set of extras on disc two was also pretty cool starting off with a nearly 8 minute long Blooper Reel and trivia game starring Keri Sable. Most fans, myself included, will appreciate the 43 minutes worth of extra footage from the camera Eric Masterson wielded during the movie as it helped complete some scenes and offered up a great idea for future releases by the company (whether they reprise the character or try something similar, I'd like to see it again). The same holds true for the 47.5 minute long Behind the Scenes Sex Reel as it helped flesh out the sex, ending with Keri's anal action in the last scene. The final extra on the second disc was the trailer for the movie; a very well edited piece of work that conveys the sense of absurd the movie was trying for. The good news is that I found some new Easter Eggs this time; "Anger Management" 30 seconds of car fixing fun with the crew, found on the front menu; "Blumpkin": (sitting on the toilet while a gal is blowing you per Jonathan) for about 30 seconds found on the Betty Bangs menu. It's possible others were there in the first flick that I missed or these were newly added; I can't say for sure at this time.

The third disc of extras didn't use a lot of filler material either. First off, knowing that the sex scenes were somewhat short to work well in the movie, Jonathan wisely offered up extended versions on this disc. Scene Three, the asylum scene, was extended to almost 27 minutes long; the Well Scene (Scene Seven) was extended to 22.5 minutes; the Cabin Scene (Scene Eight) clocked in at nearly 20 minutes (and looked better too); and the Sheriff Scene (Scene Six) was extended to over 19 minutes. Each of the extended scenes worked better outside of the scope of the movie but I wish branching technology could've been employed to allow fans to see them added into the main feature, even if it meant breaking up the movie itself onto two discs or using the double layer method (which adds problems) to accomplish it. There were also two bonus scenes, one from Secrets of the Velvet Ring and the other from The Collector; the first starring Stormy and the second with Jessica (both were good). Another scene added in was the Outtake scene between Keri Sable and Eric Masterson. It was the first take of the scene, a blowjob only scene, rather than the much better scene eventually used in the movie itself. Her oral skills were better here but that's all she did this time (over 8 minutes worth). Next up were an amazing 24 photogalleries; one for each gal, one for each scene, a BTS, and one for the production itself (wow!). I'm not a fan of photogalleries but this was outstanding with a lot to like on many of them. There were five sets of Star Stats for the women most frequently in Wicked Pictures movies, ten more trailers, easy to find Easter Eggs "Herr Director" that showed Jonathan mugging for the cast (for about 43 seconds), "Top of the Food Chain" where bugs get in the way of the shooting of the scenes, "Porn Physics" where Voodoo discusses his theories of antigravity, "True Talent" where Eric uses his penis as a coat rack, and "Top The Over" showing Voodoo getting hammered in arm wrestling contests and whining about his weak wrists, four promotional reels from past years, the usual DVD Rom features like the Casino game, awards and nominations feature, desktop pictures, a company profile, and some links to Wicked Picture's website, and seven years worth of Wicked Pictures movies in catalog form. I also found a new Easter Egg called "Lube 101" where the foreign ladies expressed unique ways to insert lubricant for their sex scenes for almost a minute (Jonathan practically breaking up over it too).

The fourth disc was a new one, called What Excites You, and I believe it has been handed out separately at places like the 2007 AEE Show but still offered some decent material fans will enjoy. There was also a bunch of trailers for some of the newer releases by the company including Manhunters, Fuck, Becoming Carmen Hart, Curse Eternal, The Visitors, 1000 Words, Just Like That, Harlequin, The Art of Love, Women on Top, Honky Tonk Girl, Between the Sheets, 3 Wishes, The Fling, Gossip, All About Keri, Tiffany's, Taken, House Sitter, Naked Illusions, and the upcoming Supernatural. There were also five bonus scenes that I described in more detail below, including ones from Manhunters, Curse Eternal, Sleeping Around, Fuck, and Julia Ann: Hardcore. There was also a Wicked DVD Catalog, updated to include 2006; 6 biographies of the contract performers, 7 director biographies, a company profile, and a bit of spam and the four discs were in kind of case that overlapped the discs for those who care, with a slight variation of the original cardboard protective sleeve. If that's not a comprehensive set of extras to some of you, nothing will ever be.

Condoms: Yes

Audio/Video Quality: Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre HD was presented in the same 16:9 widescreen that it was shot in by director Jonathan Morgan for release by Wicked Pictures. This was the first truly HD DVD porno released in the USA (and first non-pixilated/censored porno in the format anywhere). The DVD was mastered in 720p VC-1 and to say the pictured looked better wouldn't be enough. The majority of scenes in the movie were shot at night so the original version of the movie, while a good print, had a fair amount of grain. The movie was originally shot in HD, though the players weren't out yet and for an early porn attempt at high definition, this was extremely good looking. The fleshtones were accurate, the composition of the scenes was almost always favorable to the female cast members, and the various special effects employed didn't detract from the picture. While I'd prefer a comedy shot in the daylight to eliminate the visual defects, it looked nearly as good as, if not better, than the mainstream movies it was making fun of in most cases, with the added quality of the HD DVD version adding to the visual quality by a wide margin. I saw no compression artifacts and played around with the variations of connectors using a friend's high end system while my TV and receiver are shipped to me; favoring the HDMI straight to the TV for the picture quality (but even the other inputs improved the look of the movie). The audio was presented in the newly encoded Dolby Digital + for the higher quality one would expect instead of the standard 5.1 Dolby Digital Surround English track from the original. There was more noticeable separation between the channels this time but most of the time the separation seemed to come from the music. If you use the HDMI interface for the PCM Lossless audio, you'll notice a decent improvement here too. I can't wait to see how great a release will be when a company shoots a high end feature planning ahead for the visuals and sound to take even fuller advantage of the newer formats since that should be incredibly detailed.

Body of Review: Jonathan Morgan has long been the kind of director that offers more than just people screwing in a porno; he offers the whole package instead. While this occasionally causes some of his peers to fuss about not having the same resources to make quality movies, the fact is that he routinely delivers the goods where others fail. From the wonderful Double Feature and its sequel, to Hercules and Space Nuts, there is no area of mainstream movies that Jonathan hasn't been able to parody better than anyone else in porn (and often in mainstream). Today's review is on his shot at making fun of the woefully lame horror market, updated for the high definition version, Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre HD, where Jonathan and crew pulled out all stops to pick at most horror releases of the past twenty years or so (I'm not a horror buff but even I recognized many of them), such as the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Ring, the Freddy movies and a whole lot of others. If you've seen the Scary Movie series, you'll have an idea of what he was looking to offer, oftentimes easily trashing that series with better material.

Starring Stormy Daniels, Jessica Drake, Eric Masterson, and Tommy Gunn, the show took a look at a group of dopey teenagers' enroute to a Metallicide concert (avoiding real band names to keep out of legal trouble). They hit a stranger ala I Know What You Did Last Summer and the screams (or howls) of laughter begin. With tremendous extras and lots of fuck for the buck, this was the best comedy in porn to date and a darn fine movie as well, released just in time to compete with other blockbuster releases such as Pirates by the tag team duo of Digital Playground and Adam & Eve. Here's a quick look at the scenes for those of you interested in seeing what the first porn HD DVD offered up for those of you equipped to watch it, noting that condoms were used:

Scene One: Stormy Daniels, the hot blonde Wicked Pictures contract star featured on the left hand side of the front DVD cover, and studly Tommy Gunn, were first to get it on in the back of the van while likeminded hotty Jessica Drake, (the gal standing next to Stormy on the cover with the red wig on and white t-shirt), and Voodoo did one another. In some ways, it almost seemed like a contest between the two couples as they sucked and vaginally fucked, swapping partners midway through the scene. The oral was slow and sweet with the guys popping off fairly quickly once the boning began.

Scene Two: Kinzie Kenner, a cutie made up in a classic 1950's style with sweater and skirt, was up next with mask wearing Scott Nails (it looked appropriate on him), on a couch circa 1958. They petted and she gave a remarkably advanced blowjob considering the lack of quality porn available back then, even using the patented Stormy Daniels corkscrew hand action I like so much. Her look was refreshing and sweet but he was more interested in popping a nut after screwing that tight young pussy of hers as they were watched from outside the window. She was actively participating as she rode him and that added some nice heat to the scene in my eyes. It ended when she jerked him off into her mouth.

Scene Three: Katja Kassin, Rita Faltoyano, Taryn Thomas, and Rebecca Love were up next in the insane asylum as they all stripped Manuel Ferrara down to his birthday suit and used him like a slavering man-whore. Katja wasn't looking her best (as the role demanded) but the action was exceptionally heated with a lot of passion as the gals worked him over nicely. The majority of the scene was oral with very nice vaginal but none of the expected anal (Rita and Katja are among the best in the world when it comes to anal queens). This was a scene begging to be handled as an extended version in the extras section, with all the trimmings, but aside from some taste testing and facials at the end, it fell short of the potential. For a better version of the action, go to the extras disc where you'll get to see far more action by these hotties.

Scene Four: Katie Morgan, the cute blonde gal with the high pitched voice some of you may have seen featured on a recent HBO special, was up next in a scene by the lake on a pier with Kris Slater. The timeline was listed as 1985 and she tried her best to speak in the vernacular of the day as they gave each other head and screwed with abandon. I may think her implants are overdone but she's definitely someone to keep an eye on for her great scenes.

Scene Five: Cherokee, one of the hottest brunettes of the movie, came to muscular Tommy Gunn, in order to warn him of impending doom. Thankfully, she also showed him that her sexual skills were as good as the day she entered porn with her very talented oral starting off the pairing. Fans of small but muscular gals will know her gymnast body from a mile away but I included a shot of her glowing in anticipation of the heap big dick she was going to receive from him. This was another oral and vaginal scene that would've benefited with some additional length as the two seemed turned on by one another. With chemistry like this, the action's heat was a given.

Scene Six: Devon Michaels, the busty beauty wearing an outfit that would make the original Daisy Duke proud, was up next as sheriff Randy Spears took care of her sassing him with a little heated sex play at night by the lake. Fans of tig old bitties will likely find her nearly as appealing as Stormy but she added her own flavor to the movie with some nice oral and active boning. The car hood looked uncomfortable but she carried on like a champion, taking Randy's large load to her tongue well enough (leaving a semen goatee too).

Scene Seven: Nicole Sheridan, looking like a brain eating zombie as she popped out of the well, forced Voodoo to do what he called "the spooky creepy chick". That the couple is a couple in real life is cool enough for me since they always seem to give balls to the walls performances but the added thrill of freezing night time scene added something too. She was as limber as ever as she rode his cock in her sweet pussy and it ended with her taking the load to the face. They've been better elsewhere but like the other scenes, the story worked well with the action.

Scene Eight: Jessica Drake, made to look less attractive by virtue of the wig, make up, and setting, still seemed to come off as sexually heated as she took care of wimpy Eric Masterson, in the deserted shack at night. This scene was particularly well shot as he used the handheld camera to get a lot of POV (point of view) footage to add into the more professionally shot material. The blowjob she gave him was a nice prelude to the boning by the moonlit covered window. It was especially hot when she fingered her ass while he screwed her pussy, with her doing some PTM as she coaxed him along. In all; it was one of the best scenes of the movie (the extended footage and bonus version of the scene was fantastic).

Scene Nine: Stormy Daniels, stoking the fires with her hot cheerleader look (pink sweater and skirt), was comforted by Eric Masterson after a negative encounter with Sheriff Randy. This was another short scene that had oral and vaginal only with limited positions but I doubt if I could've lasted very long with her under those circumstances either. Stormy's comments on the audio commentary spoke volumes as to the quality of the scene though and it was nice to see her sexually active one last time in the movie.

Scene Ten: Keri Sable, looking exceptionally fine in a skimpy dress in a hotel room that was well lit, came off as a slutty babe as she proposed making a porn scene called "Katie's Anal Adventures..In Her Ass" with studly Eric Masterson. This was another opportunity where he got to add in some POV footage and her clueless nature was amusing to say the least. I've never thought of her as the best gal at Wicked Pictures (she's way too skinny for me) but as she gains some experience and adds a few pounds to her curves, I think she's going to work out just fine given the quality of scenes like this one. She gave good head and took his rod vaginally before a technical DP. It ended when she jerked out the last load of the flick onto her face and mouth.

Bonus Scene One, Disc Four: Manhunters: Jessica Drake, Exotica, Carmen Hart, and Kirsten Price, were up next in the movie's big lesbian contract gal orgy. Such scenes are incredibly tough to get right since balancing the types of sex with the performers; something I have long thought only directors Jim Holliday and Joone could handle consistently well. Thankfully, Brad did a fine job here as well and given the level of quality of the quartet, it worked better than I thought possible. The ladies liked one another without the cattiness some companies have fostered in the past, elevating the strokability and replay value as a result. There were 8 fingers in Kirsten (her first on camera anal, even if with a woman, too). The use of toys and a rapid tempo added to the fun here with the scene worthy of award consideration even if they didn't try to jump the shark as most gonzo scenes would have done (some confuse doing more tricks with doing better scenes, something I've discussed with numerous directors in the past at conventions). I agreed with the commentary comments about how wet the ladies looked too. Yum! (I only wish the picture had been shot on video since it took on a dull, grainy, look with muted colors.)

Bonus Scene Two, Disc Four: Curse Eternal: Kaylani Lei, the lead gal of the movie as seen on the center of the front DVD cover, was up first with Randy Spears, as she played the long dead Queen Neferkala to his archeologist in her dark, lit by flames, chamber. The oral was fun and her energetic grinding and bouncing showed her elevated passion for the action. The mood of the movie was instilled nicely in this scene, from the sexual energy to the story itself, and few would argue that the sex was only made for "couples" sex. It ended with a facial and her inhaling his essence right out of him.

Bonus Scene Three, Disc Four: Sleeping Around: Stormy Daniels, playing the role of a seductress after picking up Randy Spears in the club (as part of a revenge trick), essentially used all of his own tricks against him but by the time he caught on, he was trapped in her house, running for dear life. Randy overplayed the humor a little too much but once things settled down, they got just playful enough to really get into the scene. Her color scheme didn't change and she dominated him even more than her previous partners, this time overtly with a collar on him to denote ownership on her part. The combination of humor and sex was very well done with fine oral by both of them (hers was more teasing than anything though) before she very aggressively rode his rod to an orgasm. He then whipped off the rubber to drop his load onto her crotch.

Bonus Scene Four, Disc Four: Fuck: Carmen Hart, Kirsten Price, Mia Smiles, and Katsumi, were up next as the main courses of a fancy dinner with uncredited servants carrying them down a luxurious set of stairs to place on the table for Randy Spears, Chris Cannon, Eric Masterson, and Tommy Gunn, to play with. The pairings didn't really matter as the initial hummers gave way to various forms of screwing. Katsumi did an excellent (though short) anal ride and Mia tied with Carmen for title of the most active rider of the scene, with the semen patrol licking up the pop shots and cumswapping with the other ladies, fading out on Katsumi and Kirsten.

Bonus Scene Five, Disc Four: Julia Ann: Hardcore: Julia Ann, Eric Masterson, Marcus London, John West, and Jack Venice engaged in a blowbang scene that was released in a sepia toned flavoring. Dressed in a flowing white negligee, she walked among the men to tease them, then dropping to her knees in a blow bang. The music was stronger than the vocals but you could hear her, especially once she took turns riding the men. It lasted 19 minutes and ended when the men jerked off onto her chest, thoroughly coating it for her.

Summary: Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre HD was as amazing a DVD release as you're going to find. If Wicked Pictures could've used branching technology to allow for fans to replace the standard sex scenes with their extended counterparts, I think there'd be no question that it was the best porno available at the time it was released but this HD DVD version enhanced it all the more for those of you equipped with one of the new players. Even without branching technology or HD, it was the best comedy (remember that I'm not a horror fan either) in porn and pretty well matched for any other release on the market otherwise even now, a couple of years later. With the best extras you'll find on an HD DVD (or pretty much any other porn DVD) and a solid cast of hotties, I found myself rating this one as another DVD Talk Collector's Series title without reservation (just like the original). I spent hours and hours watching the movie and the extras yet there was still a bunch of replay value for me. The raincoaters out there will even find the extended scenes far better than any of the other real contenders for best feature sex and I was amazed at the thoroughness of the 4 disc set. In short, Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre HD set the standard of comedy porn so high that nothing even comes close in terms of fuck for the buck, fantastic extras, and heated sex with gorgeous women. I admit that the loss of the hilarious audio commentary was a pain but given the quality of the improvements on the picture alone, you really can't go wrong if you own gear that will play it. Talk about setting the standard out of reach for most of the competitors...I look forward to seeing what else Wicked Pictures can come up with this year, especially now that they are actively planning movies to take advantage of the format.