Genre:
Straight Feature/MILF

Director: Tom
Byron

Cast: Veronica
Rayne, Cheyenne Hunter, Lisa Sparxxx, Angelica Sin, Kendra Secrets, Tom Byron

Length: 119
min

Production Date:
2007

Audio/Visual:

In a Nutshell – Well Done All Around

Treating the title as part talk show, part fuck-a-thon,
Byron’s 1.33:1 full screen image is excellent. The colors are expertly
controlled, and the flesh tones really deliver – especially when the actors are
slicked with sweat. The backdrops are basic and we get some exterior
interference during the Q&A material, but for the most part, this is
professional looking porn. As for sound, it’s hard to fuck up direct to mic
recording. The interviews are aurally secure, and when we get to the actual
hardcore, the sex noises are captured in perfect auditory excellence. Overall,
this is a great DVD from a tech spec position.

Extras:

In a Nutshell – Nothing But the Industry Standard,
Unfortunately

Giving us an onscreen option to go straight to the pop
shot, Seasoned Players really offers
nothing else in the way of added value. Such a remote control gimmick is fun,
but when compared to a bonus scene, behind the scenes documentary, or solo gal
masturbation featurette, it seems a little lame. The rest of the so called
extra content – galleries, internet info, trailers – is bare bones digital
packaging, standard for the adult industry. It fails to deliver much contextual
bang for your XXX buck.

Condoms: No

First Impressions:

This is either the biggest vanity project an aging porn
star can create for himself, or the nicest compliment one old school smut actor
can pay to his now aging female accomplices. Though he claims it’s a MILF title
(and more than one of these actresses admits to having kids), what Seasoned Players actually represents is
a chance for younger XXX fans to see some familiar faces – and other
interesting physical elements – from women who were making porn before their
parents even met. Treating each one with respect and warmth, Byron lets them
discuss their career, their age, and their love of sex. There is never a false
note exchanged, a moment when we think the performer is faking so she can get
another adult industry paycheck. Instead, the scenes play like a couple of old
friends getting together for some good conversation and even better fucking. It
helps us get comfortable with the wrinkle, weight, and other age issues that
will eventually be involved.

The Sex Scenes:

Bryon’s style can best be described as go for broke
balling. He’s retro without forgetting the post-millennial allure of
pornography. We do get lots of foreplay and passion, but once cock hits crack,
this meat master is taking no prisons. Luckily, in at least four of the five
cases, he has ladies ready to take his tool and work it like a lewd
longshoreman. This is what experience, professionalism, and talent will get you.
On the other hand a few of these actresses will test the tolerances of those
porn aficionados that prefer their stars plastic and fashion model fantastic. A
couple of Byron’s compadres are quite zaftig, while a few have wrinkles and
other ‘character’ value to their look. Oddly enough, all of these factors work
together to make Seasoned Players a
unique and – ultimately - very exciting experience.

Scene 1: Veronica
Rayne, Tom Byron

Acts Performed: Foreplay, Salad Tossing, Blow Job, Cowgirl, Anal Mish, Anal Spoon, Anal
Cowgirl, Tit Fucking, $hot on Tits

Score: 3 out of 5

Starting out smoking and never looking back, Veronica and
Tom argue for the ability of porn performers past to connect with obvious and
evident chemistry. When they kiss, you feel the passion. When they fuck, it’s
like watching actual lovers. Since the big push for this title is the cover art
claim Of “All MILFS, All Anal” it’s
obvious that Seasoned Players intends
to deliver heaping helpings of hinder. And we do get some dramatic dumper
action. Though in his late 40s, Byron can definitely provide the pork, and his
partners have absolutely no problem accommodating his wang. As an example of
this veteran as a director and a diddler, Byron triumphs – and his mature mates
aren’t half bad either.

Scene 2: Cheyenne
Hunter, Tom Byron

Acts Performed: Blow Job, Ball Sucking, Cunnilingus, Cowgirl, Anal Mish, Anal Doggy,
Gaping, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, $hot on Face

Score: 3 out of 5

Thanks to an unfortunate nose job – or a physical fluke –
Cheyenne is not as fetching as she once was. But when it comes to carnality,
who gives a solid shit. This gal can SCREW! XXX must be like riding a
bicycle for the wantonly weathered pro. She gives back everything that Bryon
offers and then some. When he’s working her ass, you sense her rectum returning
the favor. This is some hot and steamy stuff, hampered only by the lack of any
real diversity in the action. Once prick hits pooper, the shots are all the
same. Even the gaping feels less than enticing. Still, when it wants to, this
scene really sizzles.

Scene 3: Lisa
Sparxxx, Tom Byron

Acts Performed: Blow Job, Ball Sucking, Tit Fucking, Salad Tossing, Doggy, Cowgirl,
Anal Mish, Anal Doggy, Anal Cowgirl, $hot on Face with Oral Clean-up

Score: 3.5 out of 5

With wonderfully floppy real tits (big and bodacious,
just how the Dirge likes ‘em) and an ass that just won’t quit, Lisa is one wood
inducing wonder. Before Tom gets his bone in her butt, we are already stiff
with straight sex pleasures. This is a slightly hefty lass who’s more than
comfortable with her carcass. She enjoys having her jugs jiggled, and when
Bryon finally taps her tushy, the amount of XXX heat we experience is out of
this world. Again, a little more variety in the vice and we’d have one of the
classic scenes in the history of older actors. Even though she’s considered
outside the current industry norm, Ms. Sparxxx could show these lifeless post-modern
skanks a thing or two.

Scene 4: Angelica
Sin, Tom Byron

Acts Performed: Foreplay, Blow Job, Ball Sucking, Salad Tossing (Male), Anal Fingering
(Male), 69, Mish, Anal Doggy, Gaping, Anal Mish, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Tit
Fucking, V to M, $hot on Face with Oral Clean-up

Score: 4 out of 5

Aye Chihuahua!Better buy some major sunblock before dialing up this fiery sequence of suck
and fuck. Somewhere along the five conversations, Byron jokes that he doesn’t
mind a little butt play himself. Angelica is more than happy to oblige. After
tonguing his bottom for all its worth, she sucks his cock while fingering his
sphincter. Even for those smut fans who don’t like seeing men manipulated so,
one would be hard pressed to deny Ms. Sin a chance to pop their anal cherry.
And then the scene gets better. The guy on gal anal action is fantastic –
arousing without being overly aggressive. And this couple really connects. You
can tell our gal loves working with Tom and the feeling is more than mutual.
Clearly, the best scene in the set, this is a perfect example of how the old
school readily rocks the novice new breed.

Scene 5: Kendra
Secrets, Tom Byron

Acts Performed: Foreplay, Ass Play, Cunnilingus, Blow Job, Ball Sucking, Cowgirl, Anal
Mish, Anal Doggy, Anal Cowgirl, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, $hot on Face with Oral
Clean-up

Score: 2.5out of 5

While it’s hard to see how Ms. Secrets’ 20-something
façade mandates a MILF classification, this is not the only thing confusing
about this scene. Unlike her older cast mates, there is something strangely
robotic about Kendra. Even though she’s only been in the business ‘a couple
months’ (her words), she performs like someone whose mastered all the middling
motions. The anal also feels rote – a sequence of four positions and then a
pop. For the first time in the entire Seasoned
Players pantheon, Byron actually looks like he’s working. With the other
hotties featured, he synced up so well it appeared as if he was on an erotic
vacation. With this babe, however, it’s just a job.

Disco Dirge
Peter Meter Rating: 3.5 out
of 5 (Highly Recommended)

Cohabitation
Certification: Granted

Since he shares the same birth year as the man behind and
in front of the camera, The Dirge has nothing but respect for what Tom Byron
does in Seasoned Players – and it
has nothing to do with the ability to stay hard for 20 sex filled minutes. No,
what the filmmaker/actor has accomplished here is something quite special – a
hardcore porn title that doesn’t rely on waif like sluts or Pro-Am gratuity to
get its point across. This is the perfect marital aid for couples who are
seeing the back end of their formative fuck/suck years. Therefore, a
Cohabitation Certification is more or less mandatory. Hats off to all the
actresses featured as part of Seasoned
Players. Unafraid to show their age, their various body issues, and lack of
clique culture acceptability, they prove one fast and hard fact – when it comes
to balling, these babes are experienced and electrifying. Suddenly, pushing 40
(or 50) doesn’t seem so bad after all.