Intro:

Remember the days before VHS tapes moved porno from a theater in on
the wrong side of the tracks into people’s living rooms?  Back then,
way before Gonzo porno and amateur tapes came to play a significant role
in the biz, the movies had plot.  Not much of one, to be sure, but
the porn-miesters of the day made an effort to give viewers something to
watch between the sex scenes.  That still happens now, but it seems
harder to find a good film with all of the cheap stuff that gets released
today.

A lot of those films of yesterday, at least the ones that I saw back
in the day, were take-offs of popular movies or TV shows, and that trend
still continues.  One of the best parody films that I’ve had the pleasure
of screening recently is Not the Brady’s XXX.  A spot-on send-up
of that old sitcom, the film features some good sex scenes and is down
right funny to boot.

The plot from the film could have come straight out of an old episode
of the Brady Bunch.  Father Mike is having trouble at his architecture
firm, and he’s afraid that he won’t be able to make the mortgage payment.
When the kids overhear their parents talking about their fiscal difficulties,
they decide to chip in by getting jobs themselves.  Of course, there’s
only so much money to be made washing cars, and the girls soon find out
that there are faster ways to make money.

Scene One - Jasmine Byrne with Mikey Butders:

When Marcia (Hillary Scott) answers an ad looking for models, she’s
surprised to find herself on the set of a porn movie.  What’s even
more surprising is when her friend, Katie (Jasmine Byrne), shows up to
shoot a scene.  Not quite sure if she wants to go that far to make
money, she leaves just before her brother Mike (Mikey Butders) arrives.
When Katie puts the moves on Mike, he’s more than ready to go.  Who
cares if a camera is rolling?  The scene is pretty hot, with Jasmine
looking very enthusiastic as she starts to kiss Mikey.  They both
make out and grope for a bit before loosing the clothes and getting down
to some serious fucking.  A nice scene with a good amount of heat.

Scene Two:  Leah Luv with Kurt Lockwood

The rest of the girls decide to have a car wash to raise some money
for the family.  When a tattooed guy comes up to little Cindy (Leah
Luv), and tells her that there’s an easier way to make money, she’s eager
to go off with him and learn how.  In a storeroom the guy informs
her she can make a quick $200 by sucking him off.  That sounds good
to Cindy who gets on her knees and starts to work.  Looking adorably
cute in her braces and nothing else, the waifish Leah gives one of the
best performances of the film.  After the oral sex they go through
all the normal positions, missionary, doggie, reverse cowgirl, and he ends
up squirting on her face.

Scene Three:   Aurora Snow and Tee Reel

While her parents think she’s upstairs studying with her boyfriend,
Jan (Aurora Snow) is really in the back yard doin’ the nasty with her boyfriend
Tee Reel.  (Wouldn’t it have made more sense to do him in the room?)
This scene starts (and ends) more abruptly than the rest, making it feel
like it was added at the last minute.  As soon as the camera shows
Jan and her BF, she rips off her top showing off her bouncy, though small,
tits.  Doing what any red blooded American boy would do, Tee starts
sucking on them with vigor.  They quickly proceed to a BJ, with Aurora
really working her man’s tool, stroking it with both hands with the end
firmly planted in her mouth.  He then returns the favor but diving
into her shaved muff, and before you know it they’re fucking up a storm.
It gets pretty hot when Tee pulls Aurora’s long blond hair while he’s doing
her doggy style and she starts telling him that she really wants it on
her face.  He complies, though the money shot is a bit lame, with
Tee just milking out a few drops.

Scene Four:  Paulina James, Veronique Vega, and James Deen

The hottest scene in the film starts with Peter (James Deen) and his
girlfriend (Vega) talking in the top bunk of his bed, when Paulina comes
in and shows them the new panties she just got.  The trio gets down
on the floor and the women start in on James shaft and are soon mixing
it up in some really hot combinations.  The girls lick each other
while Peter is fucking them, they take turns riding him, and Veronique
even sucks on Peter’s shaft while he’s doing Paulina standing up.
He lets loose on both of their faces bringing a great scene to a satisfying
conclusion.

Scene Five:  Alana Evans and Mike Horner

With the kids away and Alice off to a bowling tournament, Mom and Dad
get it on in the living room.  Alana’s obvious wig (and new fake tits)
weren’t much of a turn on, but she did a good job sucking and fucking and
is sure to please all the MILF fans out there.  There’s some nice
tit fucking before they start on the missionary, reverse cowgirl, and doggie-style
fucking.  Mike lets go on her face bringing the satisfactory scene
to a close.

Scene Six:  Hillary Scott and Benjamin Brat

Okay, who didn’t think about this while watching the ‘real’ Brady Bunch?
In this final scene, Marcia (Hillary Scott) and Greg (Benjamin Brat) decide
to make a porno movie of their own to make the money that they need.
Hillary was sick at the time, and her performance is slightly hampered
by that, but the pair makes a hot scene never the less.  Hillary starts
off with some good dirty talking as Brat fingers her twat and he soon gets
her on her knees to fuck her throat while she fingers herself.  It’s
not long before she climbs on his shaft and rides him, then they go at
it doggy style before he spurts on her face.

Audio/Video:

The movie was presented in the 1.33:1 aspect ratio, mimicking the original
show.  (Oh, okay, that’s also the standard for adult movies.)
The image looked really good, with bright, garish colors filling the scenes
which brought back memories of the 70’s TV show.  There was a little
bit of shimmering on fine lines, but that was a very minor complaint.
The film comes with a stereo soundtrack that was fine, reproducing the
stilted dialog and moans very well.  Overall, there aren’t any major
complaints.

Extras:

The disc has a good set of extras too; it’s a really loaded disc.
First off is a pair of behind the scenes features, running a bit over an
hour all told.  These were fun and made the shoot look like a lot
of fun.  Well worth watching.  There are also interviews with
stars Hillary Scott, Alana Evans, and Aurora Snow as well as director Will
Ryder with Producer Scott David.  These ran from 3 to 11 minutes each
with the various people talking about the film and their take on it.

Finally there’s an 11-minute featurette that showed how the soundtrack
was made.  This was a lot of fun to watch.  The guy really enjoyed
putting the soundtrack together and it shows.

Final Thoughts:

This movie was fun, funny, and had some top-notch sex scenes.
It’s easy to tell that the creators went to extra lengths when making the
film.  The set designs are very reminiscent of the original show and
filled with 70’s paraphernalia, and even the wardrobe (especially Alana
Evans’ hilarious dress) fit in perfectly with the atmosphere they were
trying to create.  (When’s the last time you heard someone comment
on the clothes that porn stars were wearing?)  The cast were pretty
good, they all looked like the parts they were playing and though some
had a hard time reciting their dialog (especially Benjamin Brat) the movie
really felt like an episode of the Brady Bunch.  The only real complaint
that I have is that Ron Jeremy and Lynn LeMay, who made non-sex cameos,
weren’t on screen longer.  A great movie that’s a must-buy, this is
an XCritic Pick.