Cast: Violet Blue, Leah Jaye, Jacky Joy, Claudia Downs and five guys

Genre: Insemination

Length of Feature: 105 mins

Condoms:
No

Date of Production: 07/11/2007

Special Features: Bloopers, Star Bios amd Sneak Peeks

WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?

"5 Guy Cream Pie 30" is a fun fetish flick about inseminating chicks. Let's be honest, that's the whole point. Otherwise, why stick Violet Blue's pregnant ass at the start of the disc? This is a film about filling the pussy to the brim. Can a pussy really have a brim?

The A/V Quality is solid as hell, especially since it was originally shot in HD. The problem is the grain and the other crap that comes with standard definition. When I see a creampie, it just doesn't shimmer unless it's in 1080. I need High-Def sperm, people! Make it happen.

SCENE 1

The
first scene introduces former "Creampie" star Violet Blue. She got knocked up while shooting one of the videos last year. She's here to inform us that everything we see is real. Meanwhile, I wonder if she's still got room in there to stuff a cock. Sure, it might dent the baby's head...but, a lady has got to make a dollar somehow. Lord knows you don't gets porn money working at Blockbuster Video.

SCENE 2

The
second scene begins with this British sounding Arab chick.
Her name is Leah Jaye and she's got this fucking weird piercing above her lip. It almost looks like a shiny mole, but it stops being distracting once it's covered in cum. Her scene is pretty straightforward and it introduces you to the dynamic of five guys jerking and fucking over one little body.

Once the pussy is basted, the guys don't seem to know what to do. You still have Leah moaning, when not a lot is going on. It's horrible when a chick never knows when to shut the fuck up.

SCENE 3

Jacky Joy never knows what to do with her mouth. Take a look at the screenshot above this paragraph. I took that picture to show you guys how many teeth are coming at the cock when she gobbles it. It's like a shark suck you off. I bet she had to have surgery to get one of those second Alien mouths out of her throat.

But, she does well. Well, she handles five cocks without getting her pussy torn open. It's kind of like when you praise an acrobat for not dying. It's hard to find where the art lies and where basic skill comes into play. But, that's the trouble with critically reviewing a film dedicated to stuff semen into a vagina. The aesthetic value is always up to debate.

SCENE 4

Claudia Downs has a look that grew on me. I can't put my finger on it, but she makes me want to wear a clock sized medallion and rap. Still, she's got nice droopy tits and she fucks like a champ. Plus, there's that hair. What the fuck? I can't place why I like it so much, but it gives her this distinct look.

If any of these girls have to get knocked up, I hope it's her. She's got this MILF in the making quality about her that has me excited. I want to see more flicks starring this pretty little thing. Hell, maybe she could make a flick called "Insemination Inferno". I don't know what the story would be. Maybe, it would be about firefighters who put out fires by jerking off onto them. I'll leave that one up to Kick Ass Pictures.

WORKING CLEAN-UP

"5 Guy Cream Pie 30" is a fun flick that plays to that creampie/preggo/insemination fetish that is apparently making a huge comeback. Maybe, it's the times...but, people want to see a chick get knocked up. I blame the Judeo-Christian ethical backlash against modern freedom. But, maybe some people just want to see ladies barefoot and pregnant. Not that there's anything wrong with that.