Kayden and Rocco Make A Porno

Adam & Eve

Genre: Parody

Director: David Lord

Cast: Kayden Kross, Rocco Reed, Heidi Mayne, Chris Cannon, Jenner, Kiara Diane, Dani Jensen, Evan Stone, Codi Carmichael, Tommy Gunn, Barrett Blade, Tiffany Mynx

Non-sex roles: Gypsy, Tony Stucks, Steve, Tall Paul, Dorgy, Patrick Kaiser, Davie Brown, Nicholas Russo, John, P. Danny Hollywood, Leah B., Mia Moire, Tamika Giles, Kindra Garr, Christie Mosessian, Wendy Ferrari, Margie, Angelina

Length: 147:47 minutes

Kayden Kross and Rocco Reed

Date of Production: 2009

Extras: The first disc contained a limited version of the movie for digital download. I don't have any such devices but some people really like this type of extra and it probably adds a lot of value for them compared to me. The second disc contained the bulk of extras, as expected, the set covered in a slip case for those that care. I liked the 16:22 minute long Behind the Scenes feature a bunch, the footage edited to include some sex but a lot of goofing around for the most part as David showed how much work went into the project. Then came an 8:01 minute long featurettes called Pornstar Bag with Heidi Mayne and the other gals showing how jam packed their suitcases were when coming on set. There were then 3:08 minutes of interviews, 30:48 minutes of strip tease footage by the ladies (complete with solo action too), a photogallery, trailers, a You Tube trailer for the movie, spam, and 4:52 minutes of Bloopers. There was then a 27:35 minute long bonus scene from Swing Time, the company misspelling names and even getting one of the partners' names wrong.

Condoms: None

Heidi Mayne

Audio/Video Quality: Kayden and Rocco Make A Porno was presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen color as shot by director David Lord for Adam & Eve using the MPEG-2 codec for this standard definition release. With the infamous Ren Savant as the Director of Photography and Shadow Bradley as the editor, I had the impression the production was a mid range feature properly funded compared to some of the quickies tossed out all too often though there were some areas in need of polishing up. The lighting was solid in most cases with accurate flesh tones, decent makeup applied by Julia Ann, and a relative lack of shadows. The editing offered a nice selection of camera angles and fluid transitions with the grain as limited as the video noise. Some of the performances could have been improved but as far as the technical aspects were concerned, there really wasn't a lot to complain about, the video bitrate hovering around the 4.7 Mbps mark when spot checked; but this was considering the movie was designed to look amateurish  in all aspects. The audio was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital English, the 192 Kbps audio bitrate using a standard 48 kHz sampling rate as expected, the vocals always easily heard (sometimes, too easy for the situation). There appeared to be some limited looping at times and the music was quite cheesy as one might anticipate, but the overall aural experience was about average for this type of production.

Kiara Diane and Dani Jensen

Body of Review: David Lord has been involved in making pornography for a number of years, currently working at Adam & Eve as a director. As one of the most personable people I've ever met in the industry, I can honestly say that he loves women and seeks to make the best porn possible given limited budgets, using the guerilla tactics picked up over a generation of experience. His latest movie coming my way is a parody of the mainstream Kevin Smith hit from earlier this year, a flick called Kayden and Rocco Make A Porno. The movie serves as one of the company's bigger efforts of the last year, putting it up for awards and other accolades even though attractive Kayden Kross has jumped ship for a bigger, better deal at another company. Personally, I have found most of her work to date to be limited in stroke value and replayability, her role in The 8th Day hampering it in most ways but her work in Flight Attendants proving she has a lot of untapped potential. The movie itself was just the latest in a very long line of parodies about making a porno, not helped much by the lame writing or acting, yet it yielded some surprises too. The back cover described the movie like this: "See what happens when a porn star decides to go behind the camera and makes her own first movie. Kayden Kross tries to do her best capturing the perfect sex scene. With horny auditions and sexy casting calls, can she make an award winning porno movie? Will it ever get made at all? The only way to find out is to watch as Kayden & Rocco Make a Porno!!!" Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Codi Carmichael and drooling Rocco Reed

Scene One: Kayden Kross, the attractive blond featured on the front cover, was up first with Rocco Reed (not "Rocco" as the cover implied since that would be a much larger movie) on a generic bed. She took a few inches of his pecker in her mouth while grasping it firmly around the base, her mediocre blowjob leading to Reed doing a better job eating her out while she made fake porn noises. Kayden was then largely passive as she was vaginally penetrated, rapidly rubbing her clitoris as he did all of the work, a little taste testing by Kayden sufficing for her even though she made little eye contact with him to establish any chemistry between them. The vaginal and oral scene ended with a modest facial of almost invisible proportions, the couple dissecting their attempt much like I am now.

Kayden Kross

Scene Two: Heidi Mayne, half falling out of her red dress, was up next as she tried to encourage Chris Cannon and Jenner to help her out in casting, the gal soon on her knees actively slobbing their knobs. Jenner had some wood problems and the scene wasn't very long at all, Evan watching from the other side of a glass partition as they dropped wads of genetic juice on her face without any penetration or clothes removal by the gal.

Tiffany Mynx and the mighty Evan Stone

Scene Three: Kiara Diane and Dani Jensen, a blond and a redhead, were up next with the mighty Evan Stone, the gals fussing about filling out paperwork but more than willing to go back to his office couch to share some good times. Kiara seemed to prefer using her hand on his sizable dick than her mouth but Dani was the more active vaginal rider of the pair, both of the women stretched to handle Evan's turgid member. The colors were too saturated here but otherwise, the gals seemed to like each other and happily shared his wad of seed (Dani caught unaware by the size of the load and how quickly it blasted all over her face).

Scene Four: Codi Carmichael, a busty blond with a desire to inhale cock, was up next jumping into the lap of Rocco Reed behind the scenes. Her blue top stayed on as she worked his dick with her mouth only, Rocco asking her to stroke him off even as she showed she wanted to lick his balls instead. He did not go down on her, licking at her titty before she climbed into his lap for an active vaginal ride, impaling herself as she took all he had to offer and even keeping some eye contact to prove some chemistry with him. The acting was over the top, nearly as much as Kayden's in fact, but she aggressively sought out his unleashed seed when he rubbed one out at her face, savoring his taste while apologizing for fucking up his scene.

Scene Five: Kayden Kross, easily the hottest looking gal of the movie, was up next in a nurse's outfit as she dropped to her knees to please studly Tommy Gunn and moper Barrett Blade. The stripper version of the outfit was kind of cheesy but at least she tried to show both men some oral loving by concentrating on the top few inches of their cocks when hard, stuffing even more inside her mouth when they were still flaccid. The men took turns boning her pussy after that, Kayden as passive as ever when it came to taking a penis inside of her, the gal unable to keep up orally as she divided her attention between them. The guys dropped the expected facial loads of semen and provided a happy look that was enhanced by special effects, her role in the movie finished sexually.

Scene Six: Tiffany Mynx, one of the most popular extreme queen gals of the 1990's and 2000's, was up last with the mighty Evan Stone, the lady playing a waitress in a makeshift diner. Evan went down on her as though sucking the life right out of her pussy, Tiffany making a show of it as usual before providing every other lady in the cast an ample opportunity of what a star can do when allowed to. The messy blowjob was enhanced by a substantial level of passion but she really wanted him inside of her, the couple screwing as though they were on fire in a booth, Tiffany showing how great she was vaginally as well as anally with her eye contact exceptionally heated. The jerked off wad of spew ended the movie sexually, Tiffany keeping her eyes on Evan as she looked up to him in awe and appreciation.

Bonus Scene: Swing Time: Kayden Kross and Kagney Lynn Karter visit a boutique. Holly West is the owner. After browsing around, Kagney begins to fool around with the cute store owner. While some titty playing and kissing from both women occur, Kayden looks on and plays with herself. It's important to note that anytime the action is not during the fantasy sequence, Kayden rubs her clit while watching the two women. Soon, she starts to fantasize about a threesome. Titty play and kissing occurs among them. The fanstasy sequence ends. Kagney is eating Holly's muffin. Another fantasy segment follows in which the store owner orally delves into Lady Kayden's peach as Ms. Karter continues to pleasure Holly. Next, the segment ends and real time action is shown again. Kagney is orally working on Ms. West's snatch. Soon, Kayden's mind wanders again. A 69 between her and Holly on top is performed. Ms. Karter runs her hands on the woman's cute ass. Then, Kayden's mind focuses on her current setting where Holly West is sucking and spanking Kagney's sexual plaything. The two women are hot together. They kiss. Ms. Karter's muffin is being rubbed by herself and Holly. Lady Kayden fantasizes again. She fingers her neighbor's sex spot and rubs her clit as Holly plays with Kagney's bosom. Later, both ladies manually pleasure Ms. Karter's gem. Soon, Kagney rubs Ms. West's lovebox as Kayden continues her work on her friend. The fantasy ends briefly. Holly eats the customer's sugar plum and rubs her own clit. The make believe sequence begins again. Lady Kayden rubs herself while sucking on Kagney's breast. Holly West continues to eat her customer. The fantasy finally ends. In real time, Ms. West rubs herself and orally pleasures Kagney. Ms. Kross continues to play with herself. Then, Holly and Kagney kiss to end this hot and lengthy scene. (review by Apache Warrior)

Summary: Kayden and Rocco Make A Porno by director David Lord for Adam & Eve was one of those rare parodies or comedies that actually worked better as a comedy than as a porno thanks to the largely uninspired sex scenes (not including Tiffany's tryst with Evan at the very end). The cheese elements needed to make the comedic portion work so well did not help the sexual aspects of the show but it was worth a rating of Rent It, Kayden's words at the end of the movie about it not being an award winner certainly the complete truth. In short, Kayden and Rocco Make A Porno was never a contender for any serious consideration as an award winner but it did manage to make me smile at the attempt, the making of a porno probably the best type of theme any comedy could shoot for given the experience of those on the set so give it a look and you'll likely see what I mean.