How To Be A Ladies Man
Genre: Comedy
Director: Spock Buckton, Brian Bangs, & Mike Quasar
Cast: Bobbi Starr, Anthony Rosano, Kimberly Kane, Rocco Reed, Sara Sloane, Mark Wood, Isis Taylor, James Deen, Monique Alexander, Tommy Gunn
Non-sex roles: Brian Bangs, Spock Buckton, Tony Flush, Old Man Frady, Shelly Bartolini, A Few Hungarians
Length: 140:24 minutes
Buckton's Back!
Date of Production: 2009
Extras: The extras started off with a funny 10:58 minute long Behind the Scenes feature, the comedy of the feature itself just as prevalent. The cast was in fine form but wait until you see the bit between Mike Quasar and James Deen... There was then a photogallery, a funny video called "Pussy Getting' lasting 4:01 minutes, a cumshot recap from the movie, and a series of Bloopers lasting 7:30 minutes.
Condoms: None
Bobbi Starr
Audio/Video Quality: How To Be A Ladies Man was presented in an anamorphic widescreen 1.78:1 as shot by directors Spock Buckton, Brian Bangs, & Mike Quasar for Zero Tolerance. The standard definition version was encoded in MPEG-2 as expected and the video bitrate tended toward the high side with 6.2 Mbps when I spot checked it several times (though much of the movie was made to look like an ancient infomercial). Mike took care of the technical side of things with him and Nate Liquor handling the cameras quite well, the look of the sex scenes very sharp and crisp just as the cheesy comedic portions looking exactly as needed to maximize their comedic effect. The lighting was proper to ensure the colors and fleshtones coming across well with the minimal video noise & grain never an issue during the sexual portions of the flick. The camera angles and editing (by "Meat Ball", probably Mike) enhanced the look of the ladies too, resulting in just the right balance of what one should expect for this type of movie. The audio was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital English, the sampling rate clocking in at 48 kHz with the audio bitrate set at 224 Kbps. The voices were sometimes on the low side but the special effects and music seemed balanced nicely with them, the overall aural experience on the modest side as expected but not a major area of contention in terms of weakening the final product.
Kimberly Kane with Rocco Reed
Body of Review: Spock Buckton, Brian Bangs, & Mike Quasar are the trio most responsible for some of the best comedic hits last year, their efforts at Zero Tolerance (and sister company Third Degree) earning them lots of accolades and nominations for awards. In a day and age when sitcum parodies are the bestselling titles, it is always good to see some try to expand the market a bit, their latest such winner called How To Be A Ladies Man. Thematically, this is the follow up to PopPorn's Guide to Making Fuck, crazy Spock Buckton once again fronting the effort as a self-help guru selling a plan that would get the lamest of men laid, a goldmine of material to say the least. Rather than waste their sensibilities on a straightforward parody, they applied the Pop Porn method of exaggerating the obvious, twisting it around with some self-deprecating Mike Quasar humor, and serve it up raw with a series of hilarious vignettes punctuating the crisply shot sex scenes. Once upon a time years ago, this type of comedic mayhem was far more commonplace but production companies like to take the safe road these days in an effort to pay the bills, making this one all the better by comparison. With ladies like Sara Sloane, Kimberly Kane, Bobbi Star, Isis Taylor, and Monique Alexander, the sex scenes sizzled as much as the plotted bits tickled out funny bones, proving yet again that porn can entertain us when we're waiting to reload another round of genetic juice to paint the ceiling with. The back cover described the movie like this: "With the promise to get you laid, Spock BUCKTON and his team of comedy fuck-makers deliver another cum-filled bonanza of irresponsible, laugh out-loud, pussy-wettening sexual mayhem. With deep anal, unstoppable oral and an outrageous premise, this XXX "guide" on How To Be A Ladies Man is a "must have" for any porn-vert!" Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:
Sara Sloane with Mark Wood
Scene One: Bobbi Starr, playing a sexy musician in green top and colorful panties, was up first as she was hit upon by moper Anthony "douchy beginner" Rosano in the living room. His "nice guy friend technique" sucked balls but Spock showed the world how it should have worked, his unlikely approach amusing to say the least. Anthony ended up sucking her tits and she spread her legs for the bad boy, his tongue working her over nicely until she was sucking him off like crazy. Her messy hummer led to a series of active vaginal rides with taste testing, Bobbi's bushy pubes inhaling his cock nearly as well as her mouth had done. While this wasn't her most extreme scene to date, it worked despite the relative lack of chemistry as she ended it with a mouthful of population pudding (and a quick getaway from Anthony).
Isis Taylor with James Deen
Scene Two: Kimberly Kane, an attractive brunette wearing a white dress, was up next at a "French restaurant" with Rocco Reed, the lesson regarding eye contact and women paying perhaps wishful thinking on the part of the creative team. Once they began kissing, it was all over as they pawed each other in the booth and she messily inhaled his pecker. The blowjob was sweet and Kimberly poured on the passion, showing some chemistry for Rocco even before the vaginal penetration. While not strictly in keeping with his comments, they did a slower anal penetration afterwards, keeping eye contact and otherwise showing themselves into each other as he pounded away at her perfect pucker. Kimberly then milked out a wad of genetic juice orally, his nut dripping down her face when they were finished.
Monique Alexander
Scene Three: Sara Sloane, the major contract hotty featured on the front cover, was up next with Mark "Bust in and Fuck" Wood, her acting chops established beyond reproach and the scenario proving brute force always works. He pushed her onto a bed and began playing with her tits, feeling her up as his cock cried out for her sweet lips to go a little closer to the bone. She throated him sweetly and he restrained her arms, the oral holding him off until he banged her silly during the doggy. Sara was very vocal and over the top, Mark drilling her as best he could in several positions before she swallowed his load of semen with a smile.
A Suitable Ending
Scene Four: Isis Taylor, a curvy gal with light hair and a smoking hot body, was up next as James Deen applied the concept of the "inside man" at a café. Ending up on another cheesy set, the couple went at one another, Isis feasting on his seed orally in a messy manner. James was then subjected to her fine ass sitting on his face, her fleshy cheeks made to ripple even before he started tapping that pussy of hers. I love heart shaped asses as much as anyone and it looked even better bent over on the chair, her juices flowing all over them both as she actively rode his dick vaginally. The playful pounding aside, she kept eye contact with him and moaned just enough to be believable, James launching his nut into her mouth for it to fall onto her tits.
Scene Five: Monique Alexander, the heavily tattooed former contract performer, was up last with Tommy Gunn at a bar. Through a series of really bad moves, he ended up with her as her yellow dress hit the floor for him to tap that ass. As she was going commando, he hiked her dress up when he lowered her onto the animal print ottoman's, tonguing her ass and pussy to hear her moan. Rather than wait for her to suck him off, he began boning her like he owned her, drilling hard and deep to elicit her juices flowing. Monique then power sucked him before actively riding his pecker, the gal offering additional oral between vaginal positions. Tommy soon jerked off to her face and she gave some post coital head, the program's success established yet again.
Summary: How To Be A Ladies Man by directors Spock Buckton, Brian Bangs, & Mike Quasar for Zero Tolerance appeared to be made on a smaller scale than their previous efforts but it showed a wealth of creativity designed to capture the crotches of all those who watch it. With solid sex scenes and the kind of humor that makes the Pop Porn website one of the best around, I rated the movie as Highly Recommended, the strokability and replay value as enhancing as the cast of hotties you'll learn to appreciate. In short, How To Be A Ladies Man offered a bunch of amusing vignettes that you should refrain from copying unless you have a solid backup plan, the originality alone surpassing that of anything the big boys have been releasing, even likely to encroach on the popularity of the best sitcum producers for any who wisely take the time to pick up a copy. While Buckton, Bangs, and Quasar are off making a few parodies to pay the bills, I look forward to their next original works, perhaps including titles such as "How To Win Lots of Porn Awards", "The Guide To Making Comedy Porn", or even "How To Write Your Way Into Getting Pussy: The Guide To Porn Reviewing".
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