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This Ain't Charmed XXX

Hustler Video

Genre: Sitcum Porn Parody

Director: Axel Braun

Cast: Chayse Evans, Alan Stafford, Marie Luv, Tyler Knight, Ryder Skye, Chris Johnson, Sadie West, Alec Knight, Jenny Hendrix, Angelina Valentine, Cyrus King

Length: 107:02 minutes

Date of Production: 2009

Extras: There was some spam, a slide show, more spam, some trailers, and then a 21:10 minute long Behind the Scenes feature. The BTS was mostly interview material, nothing special but worth a quick look if you are a slavering fanboy of the ladies.

Condoms: None

Chase Evans and Alan Stafford

Audio/Video Quality: This Ain't Charmed XXX was presented in a colorful 1.78:1 ratio, anamorphic widescreen, offering as shot by director Axel Braun for Hustler Video using the 480 resolution and MPEG-2 codec typical of standard definition projects. There appeared to be an attempt to do this one right, paying closer attention to the sets, the clothing, and other visual elements of the movie this time, the folks at Hustler wisely listening to those who point out the best way to make a sitcum work. The editing wasn't as tight as the best genre efforts but Claudia Ross seemed up to the task of polishing up Axel's raw footage nicely enough, the video bitrate hovering in the 4.9 Mbps area most of the times I looked. The standard definition version of the flick had few compression artifacts, only a bit of noise & edge enhancement, and proper lighting to assist in making the movie look more like the original, the art direction credited to the director himself. In short, in terms of the visual aesthetics, this title fell short of the original volume in the series but wasn't bad at all, similar to most of Axel's works in the sitcum genre. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English with a 224 Kbps audio bitrate and 48 kHz sampling rate, the uncredited script seeming to be scribbled out while shooting the movie rather than making good use of the aural aspects of the show.

Marie Luv

Body of Review: Hustler Video has been largely responsible for making the sitcum parody market flourish with extensive marketing efforts combined with distributing titles from X-Play over the last few years. One of their hired gun directors is Axel Braun and while he generally churns out some modest titles, his forte seems to be in pornifying more dramatic efforts than the comedy titles, generally trying to provide straightforward looks at shows rather than the tributes that are often better. While he prepares to move off on his own with a new distribution deal, some of his already shot titles such as This Ain't Charmed XXX are still coming out courtesy of Hustler. This time, the show follows the exploits of a gifted trio of sisters that use their magic powers to thwart those demons and other supernatural critters from wreaking havoc on the Earthly plane of existence, the porn version falling short of the mark when it comes to adding in elements from the original show but providing some modest stroke value for fans of the ladies cast this time. I watched the original show enough to get a feel for the dynamic, including when they had major character changes, so I feel quite comfortable comparing the efforts, realizing that porn budgets are far more modest. So, like most of the genre, don't get your hopes up too much and you might find it passable as a midweek rental. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Ryder Skye

Scene One: Chayse "Phoebe" Evans, the lean cutie seen on the right hand side of the front cover, was up first in an office setting with Alan Stafford, the two pawing each other mechanically until she dropped to her knees to blow him. Her talented lips did a decent job here even if she worked him like a craigslist hooker trying to finish him off right away. She did not try to make eye contact and stripped between moves, overacting the role before and after the sex. In return, he snacked on her very little before vaginally banging her, the pleas for him to give her all of it met with the realization that his length and girth were already as deep as they would go (he's not the biggest guy in vanilla porn). While going over the top here at least, she looked up at him during the penetration, a bit more head given by both of them before the ending facial of genetic juice went to her mouth, her post coital sucking not proving that she swallowed. She was too passive during most penetrative positions but I did like the way her ass cheeks rippled when he was tapping her snatch.

Sadie West

Scene Two: Marie Luv, a lean black gal that has not been nearly as prolific lately in making scenes, was up next in bed with Tyler Knight. She was slobbing his knob while he discarded efforts to find one of the sisters, the sister in the sack plenty for him to handle. The abrupt cut from her blowjob to his pecker pounding away at her pussy led me to believe a bunch of footage was messed up, noticeable edits always weakening the end product. She did some taste testing on his juice-laden penis but did not want to give up more of her active riding, switching to anal where she did indeed slow down substantially. I have long appreciated Marie's performances but she truly phoned this one in, the technical qualities further hampering it for my libido as Tyler jerked out a wad for her face.

Angelina Valentine and Jenny Hendrix

Scene Three: Ryder Skye, playing one of the villains in a slinky two part dress, was up next as she tried to seduce Chris Johnson in a smoky room with a bunch of candles. They kissed and he felt her up before she dropped down to orally worship his manhood using her mouth and hand. She closed her eyes to blow him so she neither looked towards his eyes or his cock while working him over, the picture taking on a slight grain and soft focus as she choked on his pecker. She did give a slightly active ride in a few positions but it never provided any chemistry or passion, even ending in a nut of population pudding landing to her lower abdomen versus all the better places it could have been sent.

Scene Four: Sadie "Prue" West, the appealing brunette featured on the left side of the front cover, was then up with moper Alec Knight, their stilted dialogue together reminding why holding auditions for roles in features is a good idea. Thankfully, her sexual prowess was more advanced, the two kissing before she bent over to bear her ass for his oral ministrations. While not as thick and juicy as the best in the business, Sadie does have a fetching backside and he paid homage to it better than he did anything else, her hummer at least as involved before the generic bumping of uglies. As expected, she groaned in an over the top manner too, the gal best remembered for looking up at him during her blowjob and occasionally showing how actively she could ride. There was some taste testing and ball munching too, Alec rubbing out his load of semen to her face to close the scene.

Scene Five: Jenny Hendrix, one of the better booty babes of the day, Angelina "Piper" Valentine, the gal from the center of the front cover, and Cyrus King, were up last. Jenny was dressed to the hilt in a slinky black outfit leaving little to the imagination while Angelina wore more contemporary clothing, Cyrus in his goofy demon makeup as the trio went at it. Jenny went down on her before both women showed Cyrus a good time orally, the competition between the ladies evident. Jenny was by far the more active vaginal rider of the scene and Angelina earned a few points by going down on her as she fucked but the cheap set, poor technical values, and limited way it was shot all contributed to making the scene look kind of weak. Cyrus finished up with a rubbed out nut to their faces to share, neither gal anxiously trying to take it orally.

Summary: This Ain't Charmed XXX by director Axel Braun for Hustler Video made a passing attempt to toss in a few aspects of the show for fans to appreciate but it was largely just another excuse to tie in five otherwise generic scenes of vanilla sex and move a few extra units for genre fans. The gals were not comfortable with the stilted dialogue and it showed time and again, the special effects and characterizations often leaving me wondering if anyone watched an episode of the show within the last few years. In short then, This Ain't Charmed XXX was more of the same old stuff on most levels so even if I found the casting a bit questionable, the gals were attractive enough to merit a rating of Rent It as a one or two time show but you won't want to keep a copy unless you're mighty hard up (pun intended).