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The A-Team XXX: A Parody

Adam & Eve

Genre: Porn Parody

click for stunt feature

Director: David "Crawdaddy" Lord

Cast: Bree Olson, Seth Gamble, Chastity Lynn, Scotty Lyons, Sophie Dee, McKenzie Lee, Evan Stone, Luscious Lopez, Tyler Knight, Randy Spears
Non-sex roles: Jordan Lane, Roy Karch, Justin Syder, Monstar, Nic Danger, James Bartholet, Jack Vegas, Rick Garcia, Dick Chibbles, Angela Aspen, Kasey Grant, Emily Parker, Masonikk, Marco Monterey, Chance Wilde, Scooter, Kenneth B. Trevias, Samuel Santiago, Richard Padilla, Ponstar, Jim Crawford,

Length: 144:20 minutes

Bree Olson

Date of Production: 2/2010

Extras: The second disc was devoted to extras only, the first being a 45:38 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Barrett Blade. The cast and crew spent some time describing their roles, clips of the movie included as they were being shot. There was then a 35:47 minute long series of cast interviews, 4:19 minutes of Bloopers, a 28:14 minute long Casting Call feature showing some of the interviews leading to roles (or failure for those that didn't make the cut), an 8:17 minute feature asking the question "Did you watch the A-Team"? for some of the cast, a 9:22 minute Stunt Reel, a 36:07 minute long feature on the wardrobe and props (with Wendy "Maya" Divine as the head person in charge), the internet trailer, trailers, spam, and a bonus scene from American Heroes between Carmen Luvana and Johnny Castle described below in detail, lasting 16:09 minutes. I thought this was a very decent set of extras, just wishing all of it was related to the actual movie, but still meriting a nod.

Condoms: None

Chastity Lynn

Audio/Video Quality: The A-Team XXX Parody was presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen color as shot by director David "Crawdaddy" Lord for Adam & Eve using the MPEG-2 codec for this standard definition release. With the infamous Ren Savant as the Director of Photography and Shadow Bradley as the editor, I had the impression the production was a mid range feature properly funded compared to some of the quickie parodies tossed out all too often by competitors (even Eric Masterson pitching in as AD). The lighting was solid in most cases with accurate flesh tones, decent makeup, and a relative lack of shadows but on the sex scenes, the skin tones took on a decidedly weird tone, typically orange, that was too saturated. The editing offered a nice selection of camera angles and fluid transitions with the grain as limited as the video noise. Some of the performances could have been improved but as far as the technical aspects were concerned, there really wasn't a lot to complain about, the video bitrate hovering around the 4.7 Mbps mark when spot checked. The audio was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital English, the 224 Kbps audio bitrate using a standard 48 kHz sampling rate as expected, the vocals always easily heard (sometimes, too easy for the situation). There appeared to be some limited looping at times and the music by Randy Craftwood and Tony Splat decent, but the overall aural experience was about average for this type of production.

Sophie Dee and McKenzie Lee

Body of Review: David "Crawdaddy" Lord has always struck me as one of the most talented characters in the porn industry even before he became a regular director for Adam & Eve. He clearly knows his stuff, busts his ass in all sorts of ways to make the best flicks he can with the kinds of budgets he is allotted, and is one of the most personable people I've ever met. That is why I went into watching his latest epic, The A-Team XXX Parody with hopes that it would be something special, a parody to shut down some of the more well known sitcum makers and make them stand up to take notice. In part, he did an exceptional job due to having some perfectly cast characters portraying pornified versions of the original television show's cast and adding in enough plot to make it work like it could have been a long lost episode or something. There were some technical issues during the scenes but taken in balance, I thought it was a great deal of strokable fun, the replay value significantly better than average. The back cover described the movie like this: "When Bree's cheating husband goes missing investigating a biker gang's connection to a corrupt City Councilman, she calls on the only people who can get him back. As a rogue military team of fugitives The A-Team are a law unto themselves, capable of breaking all the rules and bringing the bad guys to justice. From tattooed bikers to Mexican drug lords to corrupt cops, this hilarious spoof covers everything! We love it when a plan cums together!" Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Luscious Lopez with Tyler Knight

Scene One: Bree Olson, the sexy blond featured on the front cover, was up first on a couch with moper Seth Gamble, the two fighting before some makeup sex. His hands were all over her body, the guy kissing her and massaging her pussy, Bree wrapping her lips around his pecker to blow him with a lot of energy. She used her hand to gland combat to increase the friction, the couple actively screwing vaginally in several positions. Bree made lots of moaning noises and became even louder during the anal, the gal taste testing his pecker a few times over the course of the scene. The chemistry between them was questionable but the degree of passion Bree showed for cock, even moper cock, helped elevate the scene, the ending load of genetic juice landing on her abdomen by his own hand.

Bree Olson

Scene Two: Chastity Lynn, a cute gal with an all natural rack, was up next with "Howling Mad Morecock" the crazy team member stuck in a mental hospital (played by Scotty Lyons). While he did not look much like Dwight Schultz, he seemed quite at home portraying a nutcase, especially when Chastity was sucking on his nuts. He helped her remove her outfit and sucked her tits, a few kisses and caresses leading to the lady slobbing his knob with a lot of energy. It was clear she has had a ot of dick in her mouth and made the most of what he had to offer, going for his balls at times until it was time to begin the vaginal plowing. He tapped into her very rapidly, refusing to let up as he hammered away on her cookie, her over the top yelling a distraction but the transition to anal done nicely. There had been some taste testing and she finished him off with her need for seed as he rubbed out a nut of population pudding to her mouth.

The Extras

Scene Three: Sophie Dee, a curvy blond bombshell, and brunette McKenzie Lee, were up next with the pretty boy of the team Ace (played aptly by the talented mighty Evan Stone). He played it a few notches below his usual style and it worked better as a result, the ladies not stretching their abilities too much by portraying strippers. They all pawed each other and Sophie was practically hanging out of her pink and black striped dress, McKenzie's bikini covering less but hardly noticeable given the amount of time it took to remove said articles of apparel. The ladies serviced him orally with a nice bit of enthusiasm, a titty fuck preparing all parties for some wild screwing (vaginal at first before moving to anal with each gal). Sophie was the more skilled of the two ladies but as a threesome, it seemed to offer more variety, the ladies kneeling together to accept his deposit of spunk jerked out for their benefit.

Scene Four: Luscious Lopez, a curvy Latina brunette that I haven't seen a lot of lately, was up next with Tyler Knight in a storage warehouse, his imitation of "B.A." one of the most amusing aspects of the flick (next to Randy's "Cannibal"). He saved her and she was appreciative, the pair kissing before he gave her some heated head, her facial expression pleasing as she showed all the classic signs of getting off. She slobbed his knob aggressively and planted herself soundly on his cock, the vaginal sex again giving way to some anal with Luscious showing a slight tendency to enjoy the taste of her own juices off his rod. Fans of ladies speaking Spanish will also appreciate her linguistic skills, her sexual skills among the best on the movie before the facial was thankfully jerked out by her hand, most of it appearing to be swallowed.

Scene Five: Bree Olson, looking fleshier than ever, was up last with Randy "Cannibal" Spears, his touches to the character on the extreme side but certainly funny enough to remind me why I like him. She met him on the couch where she slowly worked his cock into her mouth, licking it like a lollipop and jerking him off as she concentrated her mouth on the head, some drool hanging around after she throated him. She was loud as she presented herself to him, her ass in the air for better positioning, and he planked away on her pussy. The move to anal seemed truncated as if a better shot wasn't available to edit it with, Bree yelling as he pounded away on her backdoor and she rubbed her pussy. The scene ended when he jerked off to her tits, Bree reaching out to taste his semen and provide some post coital head, blackmailing him into joining the team.

Bonus Scene: American Heroes: Carmen is the girl on the DVD cover. She's a great looking Puerto Rican chick with big fake tits and a hot body. The scene opens with Carmen in the shower. She looks great with water and a little soap on her big tits. It is too bad the tease didn't last longer. Next she heads into her bedroom with a dildo and masturbates. While banging herself smoke comes creeping in through the bedroom door. Johnny dressed like a fireman comes to her rescue. Despite the fire their first instinct is to have sex. They exchange oral sex. The dude eats her out and then she sucks him off. Carmen sounds good moaning with pleasure and also nice sucking cock. Although the bits were pretty short and better camera angles could have been picked to better show off the action. Next they engage in sex with a condom. The action has a nice tone with some good shots of Carmen's busty rack and hot body in motion. The scene ends with the pop shot on her tits. There is little visibility on the moneyshot. (review by Rob Randell)

Summary: The A-Team: A XXX Parody by director David "Crawdaddy" Lord for Adam & Eve had a solid set of appreciated extras, some crazy good acting by the four male leads, and provided a decent story indicative of the old television show. The sex included enough anal action to parody the title itself (five scenes total) with nods to everything else expected from such a parody, the stunts and little touches tipping the scales enough to clock in as a Highly Recommended release for fans of Bree Olson and the show. In short, The A-Team: A XXX Parody had sufficient quality to compete against all the major parody princes and an over the top approach that I have long expected from the director since his days overseeing the biggest blockbusters in the industry so pick up a copy and relive old times, just keep a hand free to take care of business, if you catch my drift.