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Welcome Back Kotter XXX: A Dreamzone Parody

Dreamzone Entertainment

Genre: Parody

Director: Jordan Septo

Cast: Mia Gold, Tommy Pistol, Jon Jon, Scarlet Banks, Anthony Rosano, Eva Angelina, Seth Gamble, Allie Haze, Ryan McLane

Length: 102:10 minutes

Date of Production: 12/15/2012

Extras: The extras were all contained on the second disc, starting off with a 28:47 minute Behind the Scenes feature where hotty Gina interviewed the cast (she was the producer too) and showed them off during the production. Next up was the non-sex versions of The Godfather XXX and Romeo & Juliet XXX parodies, together lasting 53:37 minutes and enjoyable in both forms. Then came a photogallery, some trailers, a free DVD offer, and other forms of spam.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Welcome Back Kotter XXX: A Dreamzone Parody was offered in a clear, anamorphic widescreen presentation as shot by director Jordan Septo for Dreamzone Entertainment. Paul Woodcrest and Alex Ladd were credited with the camera and lighting, Lisa Sloane handled makeup, the editing not credited though it was a bit choppy at times, the pacing of some scenes needing some polishing up. The audio did have one distracting aspect though, the sound levels were very inconsistent, sometimes coming in low and other times blaringly loud; it was a bit hollow too but had a laugh track and a good theme song sounding much like the original but no one was credited for “Welcome Home” so I can’t give a nod this time.

Body of Review: Jordan Septo was one of my favorite gonzo directors thanks to a splendid run of ass related titles some years back, my losing touch with the guy for no particular reason that comes to mind. Nowadays, he directs for a few companies such as Dreamzone Entertainment, his parody titles not exactly setting the world on fire each time they are released. His latest release is called Welcome Back Kotter XXX: A Dreamzone Parody, the movie parodying a hit television show of the 1970’s that launched the career of John Travolta. For those too young to remember, the show was about a group of underachiever students with a variety of quirks that were taught by a man who rose above similar status. They were the thugs, thieves, and troublemakers of the school but they were also smarter than they let on, Mr. Kotter trying to motivate his band of “sweat hogs” onto greater things. I have fond memories of the show so I wondered just how well it would be made by a group of people that probably never saw an episode, the intrinsic elements there to successfully parody in a sexual comedy, my hope being that Jordan could pull it off as well as he has other titles like it. With ladies such as Eva Angelina, Allie Haze, Mia Gold, and Scarlett Banks playing opposite Tommy Pistol, Ryan Mclane, Seth Gamble and others, the odds were up in the air going in. The back cover described the double disc offering like this: “Welcome back to Brooklyn 1975, where the clothes are tight and the girls are out of sight! The Sweat Hogs are hitting the streets looking for good times. They experience more excitement than anyone could hope for in some very surprising places. The results are classic comedy and hotter than a New York summer!” Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Mia Gold, a slutty little gal portraying the rabbi’s daughter, was up first in tight jeans and a loose top as she tackled both Tommy “Epstein” Pistol and Jon “Boom Boom” Jon, the guys all over her as they kissed her, played with her all natural boobs, and spanked her meaty ass. She took off her attire and the guys followed suit, Tommy rimming her at length as she bent over the black couch, her mouth engulfing Jon’s turgid pecker though alternating with Tommy’s after he gobbled her gash briefly (too briefly). Tommy took dibs banging her tight and shaven snatch, all three of them working up a sweat as she kept good eye contact during her active vaginal riding. Fans of Mia will appreciate her letting loose the juice with some squirting, Tommy unable to replicate the act at the end of the scene when they deposited their wads of genetic juice on her face, the ball batter landing in her mouth for her to taste as she wished them well on their way.

Scene Two: Scarlet Banks, a cute brunette with an all natural hard body, was up next on the brown couch, her willingness to help her “hero” Anthony “Mr. Kotter” Rosano taking an understandable turn when she misinterpreted his comments. She made the first move and he didn’t stop her, peeling off her skimpy bra and sucking her nipples as she ground her hips into his crotch, the blue jean cut offs barely covering her ripe little rump in the first place. He gobbled her gash and remained in character, perhaps the best of the character renditions in the first place. Anyway, he ate her bald beaver and she slobbed his knob to reciprocate, both cut short in order to get the couple vaginally banging. She kept good eye contact and was an active rider in some of the positions, sucking his cock clean from time to time while polishing him off with some hand to gland friction to enhance the moment. Her enthusiasm was a nice touch and added some replay value to the scene, the gal kneeling to take his load of population pudding to her mouth, Scarlet providing some post coital head to try and get more of the baby batter she sought.

Scene Three: Eva Angelina, a popular brunette with great curves, was up next in bed with Seth “Barbarino” Gamble, his rendition of the popular character not one of his better roles here (at times, he did fine but it was a markedly inconsistent performance). They kissed and he took off his pants, Eva working his cock with a sexy blowjob before he licked her neatly trimmed pussy, some editing of the oral back and forth leading to the expected vaginal penetration positions. She was flexible and energetic, her juicy ass rippling delightfully well as they boned. Eva was the most passionate member of the cast when it came to sucking a cock repeatedly during the fucking portion of the scene, her face welcoming the spunk directed by his hand onto her mug. Eva had fun with the role as she teased him in the end with one more hummer, both of them laughing nervously.

Scene Four: Allie “Julie” Haze, looking moderately close to the original wife of the main character, was up last in a plaid shirt and tight jeans as she tried to instill confidence in Ryan “Horshack” McLane, his ability to whine like the original not quite right. That said, Allie showed him a great time, engulfing increasing amounts of his pecker into her mouth with some occasional hand to gland combat. Her talented mouth was impressive and her eye contact throughout the scene helped make it a winner, Ryan eating her pussy for a moment but only to lubricate it until he could plow her fertile field. Allie had a trimmed bush but it was the biggest of the bunch, her aural coaxing helping to get a better fuck out of her scene partner. He tapped into her juicy slit rapidly as she taught him what worked best for her, some spanking sounding very loud compared to their vocals though she kept her mouth full when not bouncing on his cock. The scene ended when he launched his splooge onto her tits, Allie looking up at him devilishly as the theme song signaled the ending credits.

Summary: Welcome Back Kotter XXX: A Dreamzone Parody by director Jordan Septo for Dreamzone Entertainment was a surprisingly funny parody that took some elements from the original show and made good use of them while not being too tied down to specifics. The treatment was decent enough that I felt the director was indeed familiar with the original show, helping get his cast into the spirit of things well enough to merit a respectable Recommended for the double disc parody. Eva Angelina was still a major babe and Allie Haze provided plenty of spank bank replay value all by herself, Mia Gold and Scarlet Banks adding some strokability too. In short, Welcome Back Kotter XXX: A Dreamzone Parody was definitely one of the better comedy parodies coming out of the industry this year, the cast having fun with the material and providing a good set of scenes.