"The perfect pleasurizer! Use as a powerful pump with incredible clitoral and vaginal pleasure ticklers or reverse the dolphin for tri-stimulation of the clitoris, vagina and anus!"

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"It drives my clitoris crazy"

So says two quotes from the front of the packaing for Wicked Toys' Dolphin Pussy Sucker - a small toy that, according to the box, features tantalizing ticklers, powerful suction, multi-speed vibration, and a finger grip pump.  But would it be enough to satisfy my mate?  Let us find out, shall we?

The Packaging

The first thing you notice from the package is Kirsten Price using the product.  After all, the side p...Read the entire review

Before we begin, I would like to say that the following comment is in no way meant to come across as bragging, boasting, or any other "ing" for that matter.  With that, let us start.

I am not a small man.  No, I'm not referring to my 5 feet 11 inch body, nor am I talking about my 230 pound weight (which would, incidently make me a big man anyway).  What I am referring to is my package - and the problems that bigger men find when attempting to use various self-pleasure devices.  That is why it gives me great pleasure (in more ways than one) to declare that Alexa's Vibrating Insatiable Pussy from Wicked Essential Elements is the device made for those that are bigger-than-average "down there."  Hip Hip Horray!

The Packaging

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SO SIMPLE SO EFFECTIVE

A rubber device to slide onto my dick? I'm sold already. It's designed, so that it wraps around by cock like a tight-fisted blue glove? Who are these ad wizards? Plus, it comes from the design of Devin Lane?

You people sold me on this shit already. Thirty minutes after breaking it out of the box, I was obsessed with the device. All the best adult toys work as a simple creation that allows for slipping and sliding out of its carnal crevices. Throw on some lotion and lube, then you've got an excuse to avoid human contact for a week.

THE BARE NECESSITIES

I don't know what's needed for most adult toy enthusiasts. Som...Read the entire review

The Jessica Drake's "essensual" elements "my wicked" Bunny Teaser has two independently strong bullets. Jessica Drake claims on her endorsed product, "No, this isn't something you use to taunt a small rabbit! But it certainly does a fine job of tickling my little kitty! This marvel of modern technology will turn you every which way but loose! And watch out for those ears! They sneak up on you!" I've come across a lot of really innovative sex toys, and while Jessica may be enthusiastic, I wouldn't exactly call two bullet vibes a "marvel" of modern technology. I was still willing to approach the Bunny Teaser with an open mind.

California Exotics is one of the largest toy manufacturers that I know of. They have quite the variety of male sleeves. With Head Honcho, CE encourages you to "Ram your hard cock deep inside my luscious pussy. Explode with ecstasy as you stroke deep into my extra long noduled passage."

California Exotics is one of the largest toy manufacturers that I know of. They have quite the variety of male sleeves. With Keri's Futurotic Pussy, CE encourages you to "Ram your hard cock deep inside my luscious pussy. Explode with ecstasy as you stroke deep into my extra long noduled passage."

The Wicked Arouser Micro Vibe Bunny, CE claims "He will slip it on, turn up the vibrations and experience explosive love making."

The Stormy's Pearl Diver is billed as "The Stimulator has a multitude of pearls that rotate in the shaft for an explosion of orgasmic pleasure. Dual clitoral ticklers will tantalize your clitoris to unimaginable heights. The Turbo charged battery pack has dual controls." Stormy even gave the endorsement of "There's something really elegant about pearl. When I feel like treating myself extra special, my "Pearl Diver" almost always gets the call. Try it, and you'll know exactly what I mean".

California Exotics is one of the larger sex toy manufactures. They have a very extensive range of very affordable sex toys. They describe their newer product,  The Whisper Micro-Bullet, as "Experience the passion with this silky smooth, incredibly powerful, whisper quiet, self heating, micro-bullet".

There are few objects whose form reflects its function more than avibrator. For the most part, a vibrator is going to look like a cock,whether it's long or short, thick or thin, with a small animal attachedto the shaft or a set of controls worthy of a household appliance. Youcan call it a personal massagerall you want, but everyone knows where you're going to put it. Thisform just makes these toys easily recognizable, which leads toembarrassment when traveling with a "friend" or simply concealing itsomewhere in the house. Plus, despite the fact that frequently so muchof a woman's orgasm is tied into stimulation of her clit, most vibes are just made to be jammed in a pussy and jackhammered in and out.

That's where the Read the entire review

Jessica Drake seems like a lovely lady, but if her vagina is anything like the Senso-materialversion I received, I don't know if it's worth the effort to fuck her.Sure, it feels good, but boy, it's not easy. The almost clear pink toy(about 4 1/2" long) features the the very top part of her thighs (wherethe crease is) and a very nicely detailed snatch, in front of a thickcock sheath.The main problem is the lips of her pussy. The outer lipsare nice and full, and her inner lips are meaty and well separated fromthe outer parts, but because of that, when you stroke in, they can foldin with the push of your cock. Combine that with a rather small holeand you have a slit that can be difficult to penetrate.

Beyondthose lips, the tunnel offers a nice ribbed texture that really holdsonto your cock well, though that's the only f...Read the entire review

Why do guys buy sex toys? Not "marital aids," mind you, because havinga partner in crime in the bedroom to "aid" you with the lady is anobvious advantage. I mean the fake vaginas, rubber assholes anddisembodied mouths of the world. Normally it's because you're notgetting the amount of sex you want, and they offer as easy way to putyour cock in a hole, "pound" away and achieve pleasure. Rarely arethe guys in this audience packing a missile in their pants, because unless they are atotal mess, they can just hang that whorebait out a window and hook agoer.

But for the truly unfortunate fellow sporting a hefty piece of pinksteel, there's the six-inch long Super Head Honcho, a wanting rubbermouth with alengthy bit of tubing behind, ready for...well, a lengthy bit of tube.Done in a soft, white translucent rubber, it has a small set of lipssurrounded by a collar that reminiscent of a suction cup. On...Read the entire review

While I realize that the writing on the box for a sex toy isn't likelyto receive a Pulitzer any time soon, the line, "My Flower is Aching forYour Pistol," is still pretty damn silly. Fortunately, it didn't stopme from retrieving Kaylani Lei's Ruby Pussy from its packaging. Asquat, compact toy, it's indeed ruby red, and follows through on theflower concept, with a bloom of thick petals around a generic set ofclit-less pussy lips and a ring of leaves embossed around the base.

Now, I've had some pocket pussies which required pockets the size ofAndre the Giant, but this one is genuinely travel-sized, checking in ataround just five inches in length, and not too big around, giving anice tight fit for just about anyone (though owners of a big tool willfeel like they're putting a cock cozy on the end of your junk.) I don'tknow much about Ms. Lei's snatch, but I doubt it's as small as this, asthe ent...Read the entire review