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Garnet Joyce

This Time its Personal

This blog is going to serve as an outlet for me. An outlet that, while more public, actually offers more freedom to speak openly. I have my sex education blog and I have my personal livejournal which actually gets almost no attention these days. Both of these are read by my wife. And this blog, as my wife and I discussed, would be different because it will be a space that I am free to talk about things that she does not want to read about because she will not be reading it. And if she chooses to read it she knows that there is a very good chance that she will see stuff she does not like. There is honesty (us talking about me having a public writing forum where she does not visit) and then there is the ability to get stuff off my chest in ways that I have been able to in past relationships (they did not read my bloggings and in fact I often would not let them), but have not been able to do in this relationship because we met through blogging. And really, I just miss being able to write stuff out in order to work it out. This will be new though since there is the capacity for a much larger audience here.

So some things you should know about me:

  • I am queer. But what does that mean? Most people (read: heterosexuals) think that that means that I'm a lesbian. Oh how wrong they are. I used to identify as bisexual but a few years ago I decided that that label no longer fit me. I believe that there are many variations of gender, sex, and sexuality and I am attracted to many, many of those variations. The bisexual label left me with a bitter taste in my mouth because I don't believe in binaries. Things are rarely just black and white. Also, if I tell a hetero man that I'm queer he is like 100 times less likely to ask me for a 3some or if he can watch. Sorry guys, but that's just offensive and I got tired of the questions.

  • I'm a feminist. I hate that I have to say this, but no, I do not hate men. I love men, but I also love equality and I love being treated with respect. I expect everyone to treat me with respect just as I treat everyone with respect (unless they prove they don't deserve it).

  • I am married ... to a woman ... no, not legally, but we did the whole ceremony and such so that our friends and relatives would acknowledge us as an official couple and so should you. Don't ask me questions about the legality of our marriage or if its a "real" marriage. I will not entertain such rudeness.

  • We are monogamous ... for now. We have been together for 3.5 years and over 3 years of that has been monogamous. This is going to be a big part of what this blog is about. I would like to step forward into non-monogamy eventually, but we're going to have to convince her and really myself as well. Please respect our monogamy.

  • I am a sex educator. And as such I know a ton about sex and sexuality. If there is something I say that you don't understand, please ask. If I address a topic in one of these blogs that I think people may not understand I will probably include links to my sex education blog where I often explain stuff like this. However, I would like to keep this blog and that blog relatively separate. This blog's purpose is not for me to educate you.

  • My wife and I are exploring kink. I may know a lot about sex and sexuality, but there are some definite blind sides that I am learning about first hand. The wife and I are trying to navigate our way through BDSM, foot fetishes, role playing, and sex clubs. There is a good chance that this blog will talk a lot about this.

  • I am so freaking busy all the time. I have one full time job, one part time job, one sex education blog, lots of sex toys/books/porn/etc to test and review, and also a wife and 2 cats to take care of. This means that I don't always have as much time for sex as I'd like (nor does my wife, she's just started writing her doctoral thesis) and that I never have enough time to write everything that I want to. I'm really hoping that I can find the time to dedicate to this blog that is necessary, but we shall see.

So lets see where this takes us shall we? It should be a fun, albeit bumpy, ride.

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