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Leya Falcon

When Life Gives Me Lemons I Make Chocolate Cake


This week I was grateful to have a distraction from the personal bull shit I have been going though lately and having some scenes booked. As you all know there is nothing more (besides my daughter, mother and step father) that I love more than performing and filming scenes, porn is my passion and it makes me happy. I went up to LA again and I am beginning to think I should invest in an inspector gadget helicopter car. Sitting in traffic Wednesday morning was a fucking bitch! I kid you not, we were moving about 3 miles an hour (photographic evidence below) and going from Chatsworth to Downtown meant that I was in complete hell for about 2 hours in what should've taken about 50 minutes. I wanted so badly to just jump out of the car and yell at everyone but thankfully I had in one of my favorite cd's (Krayzie Bone Thug Mentality) and that kept me calm. I ended up being late for my scene with only minimal mental insanity, I absolutely hate being late but thankfully nobody was mad at me!!


Upon arrival for my scene on Wednesday I was greeted by a few people that I have never met before but I found them all to be freaking awesome. I loved my makeup that day and the makeup artist was so much fun to talk with as well, we actually watched grumpy cat videos on youtube while she was doing my hair! After getting me all together it was time to start the scene and I must say I really enjoyed the camera guy (I am guessing his name is Timmmmmaaaayyy (like on south park) because that is how everyone referred to him, he was cool. He apparently plays hockey and had a bad puck to the face recently, I didn't take that story into consideration when quickly reading his shirt which I thought read "Horny Pigs" at first but it is actually "Hockey Pigs"...damn this ADD of mine!


The guy I was fucking this day was Erik Everhard and he was a very cool dude to work with, he seemed a little frustrated at first during the photos because I am a little bit slow and still don't quite know the difference between my left and right without holding my hands up and seeing which one makes an "L" but still kept himself really cool and I did love the photos he took (those that I saw anyways.) I think it is so funny that I am who I am and do what I do because you would never guess I would actually be good at what I do! I am so peculiar, silly and awkward (with my infamous Jack snuggie and all) but when it comes down to it I am a very good performer and I think both TIMMMMMAAAYYY and Erik saw that.


I requested the same thing I request on every set, don't kiss me, degrade me, be rough with me and fuck me like the dirty slut that I am. I will be honest in saying that sometimes guys do not understand what I mean or they are afraid of hurting me or offending me, thankfully Erik was not. The scene I believe turned out awesome (I could've been degraded some more but who is counting? LOL) we were both very out of breath by the end and he had a nice size cock but unfortunately my small mouth doesn't open wide enough for a long and heavy face fucking so I kept hitting the poor mans cock with my teeth ( a problem I run into quite a bit with the normal to large sized cocks, though I prefer those sizes, I am starting to think I should undergo a jaw surgery to make my mouth open wider LOL) You all can use your imaginations for the rest until the scene comes out. Here is the infamous after picture...



After my scene that day I went back to the OC modeling house and myself and Jennifer Best went out to dinner at Red Robin (gluten free hamburger buns, FUCK YEAH!) and it was very very good. Yes, we both went all fat girl and ate a bunch of ice cream because it was so damn good! Using our sugar high, myself and my cocoa bunny (don't ask) went running around the mall (me in my slippers) just looking at random crap and ended up having a great time without even buying anything. After we got in the car to head back home we quickly felt like little children when our sugar high came down and our tummies were aching, oh man!! Fun day and night though, that is another reason why I love going out to LA because all of my friends are out there!!

Anyways, I was supposed to have another scene the next day but that went a bit strangely. I was so excited to be doing a bondage scene and with Mr. Dick Chibbles that I had ironically just interviewed for Xcritic (read here: http://www.xcritic.com/columns/column.php?columnID=3521 ) but that all quickly came to an end when I arrived on set and the director/owner or whatever he is came in and made small talk asking how I was. "I am fine, just woke up a little under the weather I don't really think its a bug I think it is more allergies" so he asked if I was ok to shoot and I said yes I am more than ok to shoot or I wouldn't be here, I am actually excited so lets get started! Well, I am not sure if this guy was on some sort of drugs, is bi-polar or is offended by allergies but he went bat shit crazy on me as I just sat on the couch wondering what the fuck was going on. I had shot with this guy before and he was cool but in this moment he was going nuts, literally nuts, I had never seen anyone go so crazy on another before without any cause or reason. "Get the fuck out of here! I am cancelling the scene! You're so stupid why would you tell me that you have the flu!"

Well, guy, you asked how I was, I was honest and nowhere did I say I have the flu. I have no idea where this guy decided to twist allergies into the flu but I was just confused if he was being serious or joking until I heard him disrespecting my agent over the phone as well. I just thought this was all stupid and uncalled for so I "got the fuck out" just like he told me to. Thankfully my agent was not mad at me and told me that this is just how this certain guy is so I just took it at that and thought wow! This bizarre story will make a great addition to my latest blog (hence the chocolate cake out of lemons)! I am almost tempted to send this guy an apology card saying "I am sorry you are so miserable but you did not need to take it out on me or my agent" along with a fat blunt so he can smoke it and chill the fuck out. Just wow. That was interesting. I have never had such an issue like that arise out of nowhere with anyone in the porn world or even the real world. Just wow.


This about sums up my past few days so for now I am going to go partake in my daily exercise routine and prepare myself mentally for stripper work tonight. The consumer electronics show is in town so I know tonight will be a good night full of geeks like myself so I am actually excited to go to stripper work tonight!


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