ASSk Joanna: Orgasms, Facials and Guy-Guy-Girl Threesomes!

Over the
years, my ass has met a lot of different kinds of people and learned a
lot of things. It is knowledgeable on a variety of subjects, ranging
from Tommy Pistol, to ketchup bottles, to ASStrophysics. Throughout the
years, you've spent hours getting to know my ass...but you've never had
the chance to really talk to it. It's about time my ass shared some of
its intellect with my beloved fans!

So please: SUBMIT A QUESTION to my ass!It will bestow its worldly knowledge upon you all. As you may know, my
ass has a very hectic schedule; so don't be offended if it doesn't
answer your question right away.

I look forward to hearing from you!

xoxo

Joanna Angel (and her Ass)

To submit a question, please write into [email protected].

Questions will be posted WITHOUT names and information. Don't worry - your sexual inquiries are secret safe with us!

*JOANNA'S ASS IS NOT A PROFESSIONAL.
IT'S NOT "DR. ASS" or "PROFESSOR ANGEL ASS" or anything like that, so
please keep this in mind when submitting questions and - more
importantly - receiving answers!

Hi Joanna and Joanna's Ass,

Man.
That sucks. That really sounds so incredibly awkward. Can I give it a
go? I want to try. I want to challenge your boyfriend to an orgasm-off.
I might need the help of the rest of Joanna's body though. This will
require fingers and a tongue; I don't have much to work with in that
department. But, uh, until then...do you know how to make yourself cum?
It's really important to know that. I haven never met you before or
anything like that, but something tells me that you are one of those
people who needs their clit rubbed while they are getting fucked, which
can be complicated because not every sexual position caters to this
type of action. I am not just saying this to plug my own product
but...if you DO like getting your clit rubbed, then you should really
buy my little 5" vibrator.
If you put that on your clit while your boyfriend is banging you, I
promise - you will go crazy and you won't be faking an orgasm anymore!
If that doesn't work, then I will just have to come over for a night
and solve this problem.

Yo!
So, I'm seeing this girl and we've been, like, fucking for awhile now,
and everything's going really well and I like her a lot. We're really
adventurous in bed, and she's down for all kinds of things, and always
asking me what I want her to do...like if I have any requests. I'm not
trying to be disrespectful or anything, but I really like cumming on a
girl's face, so I told her this, and she won't do it. Now when we have
sex, I think about doing it a lot. But she thinks she's above it or
something. How can I get her to do it, without making her feel like
it's cause I don't respect her? I just like doing it!!!

- Face-Splurger

I
think the reason why a lot of girls don't like facials is because of
all the bad porn out there. When a girl's first exposure to a facial is
through a 2-minute clip that arrived in her Spam mail (where the girl
looks like she is miserable and on a whole bunch of drugs, and the guy
is making really weird noises and the jizz itself looks kinda chunky),
it really could result in some anti-facial feelings for an extended
period of time. I think you should watch some good porn with her...like
BurningAngel porn...where the girls look happy and healthy and they
truly enjoy getting their facials! Then maybe it could shed some new
light on the whole act. Now if that doesn't work, maybe you could try
saying that jizz keeps your skin looking more vibrant, or that it gets
rid of acne or something like that. I am sure that somewhere on the
Wikipedia you can find something that backs up this up! Be creative!

To The Lovely Joanna's Ass,

I
wish this was a question about having a threesome with you, but
unfortunately, it is not. In a really quick way, here's the thing: my
girlfriend wants to have a threesome with me and another GUY. The
thought of watching some guy fuck my girlfriend DOES turn me on, but I
don't really want to be in some penis-on-penis situation...you know?
What should I do?

Sincerely, Penis Weary

OK.
Dude. You have a penis, right? I mean, it's there, you hang out with it
every day, you've gotten to know it. Every other dude in the world has
a penis as well. It's something you all have in common. Now, don't be
scared of a penis. It's just A PENIS! I mean, you know what it does. If
you fuck your girlfriend with another guy, there is a good chance that
your penises might brush up against each other's. In fact, if they
don't, or if you're worried about it the whole time, then the threesome
is going to suck. The two-guys-and-a-girl threesomes get really nasty.
You have to be able to completely let your guard down. Look, I don't
know who you are, but I am pretty sure that not every guy in the world
is gay for you. I mean really, get off your high horse! Just because a
penis touches yours for a few seconds, doesn't mean the other guy is
going to just, like, stop paying attention to your girlfriend and
starting trying to bang you. Just calm down, RELAX and become friends
with your penis and everyone else's.