Battle of The Halloween Porn Parodies
Smash Pictures and Zero Tolerance Duke it Out
It was probably only a mater of time before the Porn Parody craze got so prevelant that you'd have two studios duke it out over the same parody at the same time.
That's the case with Smash Pictures and Zero Tolerance who are both set to release Halloween Parodies. Which one will be the winner. We break down the elements on each one and make our prediction.
Here's our break down of these two Halloween Parodies and which one we think will come out on top:
Contender #1 Smash Pictures Halloween XXX Porn Parody
Contender #2 Zero Tolerance Official Halloween Parody
Round 1: The Cover
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Amusingly on both the Smash Pictures Halloween XXX Porn Parody and Zero Tolerance Official Halloween Parody covers the Halloween Pumpkin is nearly identical (right down to the vein pattern on the hand with the knife). Coincidence. We think not. Still when it comes the two covers the Smash Pictures cover looks and feels more like a porn. Also having the stars in clear white lettering on the top, we know who exactly is in the film (on the Zero Tolerance Cover you really have to hunt). But Zero Tolerance is the cover for a porn parody purist, and looks a lot like the original Halloween cover. But just when you think that Zero Tolerance might take this round Smash comes back with a one two punch with Lily LaBeau on and Lexi Belle on the cover - both huge advantages. The round is almost almost over and Smash falters with a less than fantastic Andy San Dimas image and a real lame Mike Meyers mask. Zero Tolerance counters with the brilliant tag line "The Night He Came" but Smash finishes it off with "Shot in HD". Round 1 Winner: Smash Pictures
Round 2: The Cast
Both Smash and Zero Tolerance have brought top notch casts for their Halloween Parody. Zero Tolerance has: Lexi Belle, Chanel Preston, Dana DeArmond, Lexi Swallow, Karina O'Reilley. Smash has: Andy San Dimas, Lily LaBeau, Raven Alexis, Britney Amber and Lexi Belle. Wait.... Lexi Belle!!!! Could these two pcitures really share a cast memeber. Clearly who ever comes out on top here Lexi Belle is a winner, and a slut... really girl we love that you've fucked all the top guys and gals out there, but two of the same movie parodies for two different companies, you're ruthless.... It's a tough call here, this is a very close bout, Lexi Belle obviously cancels herself out as she's in both. Andy San Dimas vs. her mentor Dana DeArmond would have Dana topping Andy in a heart beat. Channel vs. Raven, oh man there's a scene we'd like to see. But again it's the Lilly LaBeau factor that makes this bout a clear draw. Round 2: Tie (Winner Lexi Belle)
Round 3: The Director
Although Smash Pictures doesn't list the director for Halloween XXX Porn Parody on the front, a check of their site shows that it is indeed the legenday Jim Powers. Powers has one of the most extensive filmographies in the biz and is known for his unrelenting hardcore action. For Zero Tolerance Official Halloween Parody the director is Gary Ornoa who has directed such edgy porn parodies as The Official Basic Instinct Parody, Offcial Silence of The Lambs Parody, Official Psycho Parody, Official Friday The 13th Parody and Zero Tolerance's mega hit Sanatorium. Powers has more under his belt but Ornoa has done more horror porn parodies. Again Round 3: Tie.
Round 4: Back of The Box
It's one of the closest bouts we've seen in porn parody history, so we're going to go to the back of the box and see what the action looks like.
Zero Tolerance Official Halloween Parody Back Cover:
Smash Pictures Halloween XXX Porn Parody
While you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, you can tell a lot about a porn by its BACK cover. Right away we discover that Zero Tolernace has the amazing James Bartholet and that Chanel Preston looks like she's doing a fair bit of acting in addition to just fucking (this is a good thing as she's great at both). Dana DeArmond fucks Mike Myers blindfolded and there's a lot of oral action. Smash shows off that they've got a good amount of night footage, that Lily LaBeau does a fair amount of acting in addtion to fucking (a good thing too). But Smash falters with a couple shots of guys under sheets looking like ghosts (very hokey). Both covers are light on Lexi Belle, someone must have gotten the memo that she's in both. This round has a clear winner. Round 4 Winner: Zero Tolerance
It's one of the closest porn fights we've seen yet and at this stage of the game it's a draw. Check back when we have complete reviews of both these releases and crown the winner!!
- Chirs Thorne