The XCritic Interview: Avi Love, Part 2
"More Than a Porn Star"
There is a lot more to a porn star then we could ever imagine. So much goes into creating a starlet’s image and her many, many looks on screen. Most fans and critics could never even begin to imagine how much simply goes into thirty minutes of footage that they get to swoon over on an X-rated website or DVD. The ways of the person behind adult entertainer are a lot like the elusive snow leopard, meaning you never ever get to truly see them that often when they are not performing. Now, I can imagine what some fans and what many critics think about what I have just said, “we do not care about the woman behind the alter-ego.” Well, you should, because honestly, that is the core foundation of what makes a solid performer and to our critics of this industry, we are more human than you would believe us to be. In an age where more starlets join the ranks of the adult world than ever before, fans are looking to find a way that will make their search for the next girl of their dreams easier. I offer a solution that is foolproof. Find out about who the woman is behind the performer and that will tell you everything you need to know. I think lost in the shuffle, too many do not see the hard worker, the sister, the mother, the scholarship student, the artist that supports the weight that the alter ego thrusts upon them as porn stars. Not to mention, society does not always paint their pictures with a brush that reveals all of who they really are on the inside. That is where we come in. Avi Love, what a wonderful woman. Today, we discover something deeper about Avi Love, we see what is the foundation of her strength and drive and one thing I guarantee you, it is something many people choose not to see but I hope not for much longer. in the modern world we live in.
Don Juan DeMarko: (We pick up from part one, where I am trying to sweet talk Avi into revealing more about her work with Jacky St. James that was upcoming.)
Avi Love: You know, I do not know if I should, I mean honestly, this is a big project and I probably should not say anything. So, I have to stay a bit mysterious about this film Don, sorry.
Don Juan DeMarko: That is awesome, loyalty is everything doll. I always try and pry whatever I can from a starlet's grasp when it is Jacky St. James. She is my favorite writer in the industry. Her scripts just come to life on screen like no other.
Avi Love: She is good.
Don Juan DeMarko: OK, I will cut you some slack but staying on the writer/director theme, what was it like working with Jacky St. James and Sweet Sinner. This has become a common subject in my last few interviews, but I had to pick the brain of a new starlet who was coming onto her set for the first time. I have to know, what was that like?
Avi Love: The Sweet Sinner project. Hmmmmm. I am not sure if that was the first time I had worked with Jacky.
Don Juan DeMarko: Excellent, well, let us talk about the older films then because I think no matter the project this had to be an experience for you.
Avi Love: Jacky, she is just this amazing person to be around. You are so right about the way she writes. Her scripts are great. When she shoots, you get this feeling of organization within the production and I love that.
Don Juan DeMarko: You know what I love about Jacky St. James? She loves to poke fun at all the types of stereotypes on set within a film. Most directors get angry at critics. Jacky kills them with kindness, comedy and wit. I love that about her so much. I bet she is a good chess player.
Avi Love: Yes, I do too. (She laughs the most beautiful laugh you have ever heard. It is so soft and so catchy. She brings laughter and a smile to you instantly when you hear it.)
Don Juan DeMarko: Us quirky nerds FUCKING RULE!
Avi Love: I definitely love being around her.
Don Juan DeMarko: You know, when I am through with you, that head of yours I hope will be so huge after this interview, that you need one of those airport plane pillows just to support it. Did you know, well at least I had heard, that Jacky tailors every role to the actors she chooses. She writes her parts that way. What else I have also heard she does, is she will see you in another film, she will study you, then she writes her character towards your strengths. So, once again, it is even more fucking badass that you have shot with her a few times now.
So, with that said, what did it feel like to join one of the rarest classes there is in this industry by winning best actress and best sexual performance within the same year? What were you feeling being at both awards shows, being up for so many trophies and then boom, you win at AVN and XBIZ?
Avi Love: That does not surpise me about Jacky. She is a person who you see that she is a pro from second one on her set. I just love her. Winning those awards, I mean, what can you say about something like that? It was simply unbelievable. It was really exciting; I just don’t know. Even now, words escape me.
(During this time Avi is laughing and you can just feel the happiness in her voice.)
I really could not believe that I won.
(She is so speechless I rudely interrupt her.)
Don Juan DeMarko: You know, you joined a class that I believe only two other performers have ever been a part of in this industry. No wait, let me look at my notes, it is three. There are only three other performers who have ever won Best Actress and Best Sexual Performance in the same year, let us also not forget Best New Starlet at Nightmoves.
Avi Love: Really?
Don Juan DeMarko: Fuck yeah dude. The last performer to do it, I believe was Melissa Hill in 1997 and 1998. Or jessica drake in the early 2000s but still, you join the ranks with AVN Hall of Famers. That is a big accomplishment. There are a few instances where someone won one in one year and then won the other the next year but having it happen in the same year, that is the rarest of things.
Avi Love: That is insane, I did not know that. That is so RAAAAAADDDDD! (We start giggling)
Don Juan DeMarko: Yes, well, a lot of the media people in the industry, they know that I am trying to keep the traditions of the amazing Mr. Bill Marigold alive and become a new age porn historian following in his footsteps. You deserve to jump for joy and scream to the heavens with pride, you joined a very rare class indeed.
Avi Love: That is amazing!
Don Juan DeMarko: Were you expecting to win because of how successful a film Mrs. Hyde was? Or, did that beautiful timidness come out inside of you and this thing just surprised the hell out of you?
Avi Love: Now, I did not know or even think that I was going to win at either XBIZ, AVN or Nightmoves. There were a lot of amazing women in the categories with me. I was hoping that I had just a chance. I think truthfully Don, there is no way to know where a performance can go in the industry.
Don Juan DeMarko: So, you had a lot of faith in the scenes that you shot to succeed in these categories?
Avi Love: Well, I always do the best that I can do in every performance. When I stop and think about it now, I do not keep track of a lot of the other performers, I just do my own thing and go with it.
Don Juan DeMarko: Fuck yeah dude! Nothing wrong with that.
Avi Love: (She giggles) So, I just crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.
Don Juan DeMarko: Wow, sweetheart that is fucking awesome and you truly are a timid one, aren’t you and I mean that in a good way. That is a good character trait to have. Being reserved is always a sign of massive intelligence.
Avi Love: Oooooh, thank you.
Don Juan DeMarko: Now, the real fun can begin. We did five questions where we spoke about the industry, your work, and accomplishments. Now, I would love to get personal with you, if I may? The first thing I want to know is what was it like growing up in Carson City? Now, let me get this right, you were born in Carson City and moved to Vegas? What was it like growing up in those “sinful” cities?
Avi Love: Well, it was normal, (that infectious laugh comes out again.) So, I do not know how to really answer that. Vegas is a city that goes twenty-four hours, so when I was in high school, I was always, well, …. My friend Trayvon, who was gay, we were always together. He practically lived at my house we were together so often. Now, living in a city that is going twenty-four hours, we could leave in the middle of the night and go get snacks and then just hang-out and play Just Dance. We did that all the time.
Don Juan DeMarko: Dude, no wonder you have so much fucking rhythm, that is badass!
Av Love: Yeah, that was our game!
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Don Juan DeMarko: I really respect that answer. I spent a lot of time over these last few weeks trying to figure out who the woman is behind the character. What type of person I would be talking to today. So, this really plays into part two of my question. So, this is how I jotted it down in my notes word for word. “You have always struck me as the shy beautiful type who keeps to her own, what are the possibilities that one of the best young actors in the industry who discovered her sexuality in a more unconventional way than most people would..” I think the fans would simply love to hear what you discovered about who you are when you were younger in terms of what your sexuality has become today becuse of what you discovered before the industry.
Avi Love: Well, growing up I did not live in a household that was extremely religious or anything like that. I had it in my mind at a very young age that I was not going to have sex until I was married. I am a very hard-headed person Don, there are very few things that once I say or do something that I do not stick with it. Then, in high school, I got a boyfriend. He was this bad boy and I mean a real bad boy in the sense that my family did not like him at all, but, I was rebelling and I stuck with him despite my families outrage and I feel like he was truly the person that opened me up. He really allowed me to open my sexuality up in so many ways. He was the first person that I had sex with. He was the first person I had sex outdoors with. He was the first person I ever had sex with in a car. He was also the first person that I did anal with. I feel like he really got the freakiness out of me that I had inside of me that I had sheltered for so long.
Don Juan DeMarko: Wow, that is cool. So, let’s just look at the outdoor sex for a second. So, you experienced that release of endorphins when you have that taboo type of setting where you could get busted or someone could be watching with the same person that you lost your physical virginity to, that is cool. Most do not achieve or begin to understand that second release for a while after they first discover the sexual part. There is nothing cooler then to experience all that with one of your first loves.
Avi Love: Yeah, I think so too. Let’s see, we broke up right after high school. Then, after that, I just kind of went crazy! I slept with a few other guys after him, then I got into the industry. I don’t think that I slept with a lot of guys before I got into the industry. I think that I slept with about seven more guys before I got into the business.
Don Juan DeMarko: That is gangsta dude, beyond badass. So, you were truly within that phase where you were unlocking so much about yourself. I am so jealous that you are experiencing all of what you are right now and that you got to do all the things you did at that moment in your life. It is so freeing of the mind, something like that which you experienced.
Avi Love: Well, the other thing it also helped me to discover was just how much that I loved to take sexy photos on my phone and send them to my boyfriends. I was in theatre too since I was young, so I have always liked performing and being up on stage with that spotlight right on top of me. I think that the mixture of theatre and my sexual discovery helped me to discover that I had that within me.
Don Juan DeMarko: Fucking-A girl! So, you are a theatre person, what is your favorite play?
Avi Love: This may sound silly, but it is Alice in Wonderland.
Don Juan DeMarko: WHAT! That is fucking sweet. You are talking to a guy whose favorite play is Into the Woods.
Avi Love: We did that play in elementary. It was awesome. I couldn’t sing and I can’t sing, so I never got to play Alice unfortunately, but I have had a bunch of different parts throughout my amateur theatre career in that play.
I played Lily the Flower, I played this crustacean, I also played a card. I think that I was number seven. I believe that all of those roles lead to so much fun for me.
(We are laughing like two school kids catching up while looking at a high school yearbook.)
Don Juan DeMarko: So, now that you have been in the business a few years. How many times have you gotten to go to “Broadway?”
Avi Love: I haven’t yet! It is definitely on my list of things to do, trust me.
Don Juan DeMarko: Oh, you must go see Hamilton anyway that you can! Especially since you are a gal who loves rap and hip-hop.
Avi Love: My friend Charlotte Cross she said the same thing. She said, “if you ever go to Broadway...” you have to see that. Then she told me, “I will be so mad at you if you see anything else!”
Don Juan DeMarko: Dude, when we went to see it, we got so lucky a friend of mine got us seats that were usually reserved for the cast, the production staff, and their friends and family. When going backstage, there were so many people. I mean here is Juan Manuel Ferrara and then on the other side of the room is all these famous musicians. It was awesome. Oh, this reminds me. I so love you due to the fact that in an interview, you said, when asked about your taste in music, “I am not a country person, there are only a few songs that have caught my attention sad to say. You became my hero right then and there.
Avi Love: Yeah, it is definitely my least favorite music.
Don Juan DeMarko: I like Johnny Cash and my love affair with country it ends right there.
Avi Love: Ugh, yeah! I cannot really tolerate country if it is in a movie and it is something that goes with the score of the film. That is about it. That is as far as I will go. (We bust out laughing.)
Don Juan DeMarko: Well, I think that you would agree with me on this one massive point. I think that country has absolutely no pizzazz. It is so basic; it is so boring. Yes, it is music, but it is almost like they keep chopping up the same melody, the same chorus and remix it over and over again. It all sounds the same to me.
Avi Love: No, you are right. I mean unless you are wearing cowboy boots and a hat, then, maybe I could do it.
Don Juan DeMarko: Shit kickers and a ten-gallon hat, check! I once dated this gal in the business and she was madly into country and going to these sawdust joints and every weekend was like, “let’s go to this new bar where they are teaching line stepping.” I was like whaaaaaaat? I was trying to be that guy though; show my gal I could be the man who put his bullshit aside and tried to see things her way. We were in Nashville once and every dude wanted to kick my ass in the bar as I tried to join the crowd dancing.
OK, so to get serious again and I am glad that you touched on this earlier. I love asking the bold, intelligent women of this industry, what does sexuality mean to you as a woman? Well, maybe not only as a woman but as a human being?
Avi Love: You know, I just feel like I am a lot more open to things due to my sexuality. That is such a good question, I don’t know if I could present one path or one answer as the definition that comes from me, that represents me. The one thing I know is that sexuality has taught me a lot.
Don Juan DeMarko: Darlin’ even the most simple answers can be the most amazing. Even the littlest change it can be something just like you said earlier, changed you for the better. That is as cool as gets in this life.
Avi Love: Yeah, it really has.
Don Juan DeMarko: For men, it is something that I think is so important because sometimes, we see a woman like you, this stunning beautiful creature and we ask, “how can she be shy?” I think that a man discovering his own sexuality, he starts to begin to learn to not love and judge a woman only on her external features. Without sexuality, I think a man would never get to know the depth of a woman’s emotions which are some of the most grandiose things I think a man can encounter and discover in their so-called “life.” I read so much about you and asked a few people who had also interviewed you and that term “shy” was thrown around so much and I do not think you are one bit. Perhaps you were in the past, but you have a type of zip in your voice that truly speaks of discovery.
Avi Love: Well, I am always shy with a person when I first meet them. It is that shy person that makes me take my time when letting people in and I think that is so important. There are things that I have always been able to tell in people by the things you say. You are a pretty good observer in women Don. I can tell right away that some people are just good, and I will let them in right away and my guard is down in an instant. For example, being on set with Jim Powers. When I first got into the industry, I was always on set with him. It was just a few days ago that I actually got to be on set again with him for the first time in a while. It just felt like family, it felt like home. I feel like I could be myself, that I could have fun being Avi.
Don Juan DeMarko: With just that word, “family” you remind me of what is the most beautiful of things within this industry. I first started doing work in this business more than a few years ago. Since then, I have moved to also include other realms of work, in other places of entertainment as part of my “job.” There is a love and warmth within this business and the people who are apart of it, that I just can not describe and that I have seen no where else in life and work. You said it all with what you just proclaimed there. So, this moves us to the next question. You know, many of the directors and performers I asked about you spoke so much about your intelligence, so I really can not wait to hear your answer to this question. Why do you think there is still this big stigma, even among people of your age group and who still have this shock mentality towards sex and sexuality?
Avi Love: There are so many people that frown upon it still. That makes it so hard for people to be open and willing to explore such things. You know? There is truly a degree of difficultness for somebody to come out even to their own family if they are not accepting. It makes it that much harder to achieve happiness and understanding in places that many people take for granted. I think a lot of people do not know how importnat acceptance is. I think that plays a big part.
Don Juan DeMarko: One of the things you hit home with me on is you talked about growing up with a gay friend. I grew up with a gay brother, so I love asking this not just for the sake of the interview but to pick the brain of a like-minded soul who has seen and excepted things that I have. Do you think that things are getting better in terms of acceptance? Maybe even of people who work in this business with how your friends and family reacted to such things like you being a porn star, or a bi-sexual woman.
Avi Love: I definitely think that it is getting better. Especially if you are talking about the LGBTQ community. People have the ability to use either a male or female restroom now, where as back in the day, I remember people would not even bring up the subject. Don, I also think acceptance is getting better for those of us who work within the industry too. I remember seeing this news story about how a person can change their gender on their ID when in some parts of the country that had been widely discriminated against. So, I think those are two big examples of how things really are getting better.
Don Juan DeMarko: I really had to hear that from a person who recently discovered a new part of her own sexuality and thank you for sharing that with us. I mean, I grew up in a time and my brother is older than me, so in the ’80s and ’90s, I routinely would go try and beat up the bullies who picked and shamed him every day because of how much society did not understand. He was picked on for simply being homosexual and I could never tolerate that. I remember the day that they killed Matthew Shepard and ever since that day, I always tried to be that person who tried to understand his fellow man because of what I saw my brother go through. I guess I have a little bit of animosity towards society because of that. So, hearing those stories that you shared about searching for answers within and acknowledging that, it does show to me too that things are getting better.
Avi Love: Well, I love that in schools now that they are very big on the anti-bullying campaigns. In high school, we took it very seriously, especially the students. I was student council as well and every time that we would meet in order to discuss the relevant things among the student body. Bullying was always something that we put our thoughts and hearts into so much as students. I know that in my school, we were definitely a close community and we stuck up for each other in a lot of scenarios that I think older generations do not see, or most importantly report upon. I don’t think that a lot of people know that there are schools like the one that I went to where if you were caught bullying, you get into a lot of trouble. That is something that does show change Don in so many ways.
Don Juan DeMarko: My goodness, I never knew. That is an awesome insight. The truth of the world is that we are all community, we are all neighbors we are all in this thing together. That is what is so crazy about our business. No, I should not say crazy, I mean awesome about our business. The fact that even if people are enemies among one another, we will still stand up for each other if someone is being pushed against the wall or harassed. We will defend each other from all combatants who threaten us. That is a beautiful thing. The best of things I have ever seen in a place called “work.”
Avi Love: That is what makes seeing hatred upon the industry so awful to me. It is hard to stomach. I just want to tell people to get over it at times. Say to them, “hey, it’s only porn! What is the big deal? Get over whatever it is that you believe.”
Don Juan DeMarko: Oh, if people only knew. I have shared this story before. At the day job, I have people who find out time to time what I do at the “other job” in the adult industry. Every time it happens, it sparks something amazing. I had a couple, an older couple come out to me when they found out that I was Don Juan DeMarko and tell me that the fly to Thailand once a year and get a hot Tai babe and have a wicked good time with her. Which I think is so cool. Life should be that fun, that much of a discovery and something to always look forward too. Opening up like that liberates them when they find out I am in the porn business. It is something that simple that frees them. This industry makes a lot of money and it is because everyone indulges.
Avi Love: Yes! Everyone watches porn.
Don Juan DeMarko: See, I think you and I are on the same page. We are the people that want to go to the masses and tell them that we are not going to crucify them, we are going to tell them, “rock on, you watch it? We do too!”
Avi Love: I love to watch porn. You can just classify me as a person who “loves to watch” period.
Don Juan DeMarko: OK, so this question is going to seem long but isn’t. Well, the answer could be short. So, you are a lover of art, of music and theater. Modeling it so seems is in your DNA. I could tell by one look of how you move on film and in person. Now you are an award-winning actress, who has become my hero because of her views on country music. You discovered your love for women within the industry and again, you are described as a very shy person, my question to you is, tell me something Don Juan DeMarko does not know about Avi Love.
Avi Love: Hmmmmmmmm. Let me think, what do you and the fans not know? That is a hard one, I don’t know. I do not know what you do not know. (That beautiful, playful low-toned laugh comes out one last time.)
Don Juan DeMarko: I like to ask this question because I think it is a chance for fans to see something that they would never think exists within the heart, mind, being and life of an adult performer. Letting the fans in on something about the alter-ego or the woman behind the performer. I also love this question because people put you performers underneath this microscope of social media so often and they think they know you just by your work and the truth I know and like to share, is that most people know very little about you ladies. That is why I would love to hear what we don’t know about you.
Avi Love: I guess I do have something that I have been hiding my entire career. I guess it is OK to talk about this. Something no one would know about me Don is that I am a Mom.
Don Juan DeMarko: Awwwww, really?
Avi Love: Yeah. You know, there is so much that people do not understand about us as performers. I do not see why we should not talk about these things. I am a Mom, just like every person in this industry is a daughter, a sister, a mother and in some instances a grandmother.
Don Juan DeMarko: I think that is awesome Avi. I wish that I had kids, I love kids. The most beautiful thing on earth I think a couple can strive for is to have children. Darlin’ that is so awesome. I mean this with all my heart. Thank you for sharing that. That is something so special to share about yourself. Avi, you are truly something special in this world. I am just beyond speechless.
It is here that we must leave you dear reader because, in all honesty, you would not want to read the rest of the interview. It is just me getting even more sappy than usual with a woman who has just bared her soul in so many ways showing the world compassion and beauty that lies within the heart of a porn star and the adult industry. This interview is very special, not just because Avi is having a monstrous year in 2019. Not because she has the potential to be one of the biggest stars in the adult world, no it is more than that. With this interview. Avi Love showed the world a depth that no one knows or wants to believe exists in this industry. she shines a light on a sisterhood/brotherhood of love and understanding in a work community. As society evolves, it is not farfetched to believe that an industry that is one of the safest in terms of sex, can be something that helps usher in a new era of understanding between people. Here we just sat down with a Mom, who is proud to be. A student, who served the student body. An actress, who has made history. A best friend who watched out for brother from another mother, a lover who found a new lease on happiness not just with sexuality from this industry but a new view on who she is as a person from the release of sexuality and I think more people can find that if they look past the stigma, look past the errors of history and see this business for what it is and see the people within it for who they are, human beings of the most beautiful nature. Avi proves we are your neighbors, your co-workers, the person sitting next to you in class, the daughter, the sister and of course the mother.
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Special Thanks to Elegant Angel and Pat Myne for the photos from Teen Wet Asses 3