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Crazy Big Asses

Studio: Exquisite » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 2/27/07

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Crazy Big Asses

Exquisite Digital Media

Genre: Gonzo

Director: Jordan Septo

Cast: Marie Luv, Harley, Sascha, Georgia Peach, Alex Sanders, Flower Tucci, Ana Nova, Lee Stone, Alexia Milano

Length: 148.5 minutes

Date of Production: 9/21/2007

Extra's: The best extra was clearly the 36.5 minute long Behind the Scenes feature. There was a good amount of sex and nudity but also some amusing anecdotes (just say "Yes" to Flower's ass crack...). If you want a good idea of how much the gals are into the action, the BTS will serve as a good source of information for you as well as a decently entertaining show in itself. This time, all of the gals got at least a brief bit on the feature with Georgia seeming to be the focal point for a longer than average amount of time. There was a photogallery, a cumshot compilation from the scenes, (but no trailers to movies like Great Big Asses 3, Great Big Tits, Super Squirters 2, Absolute Ass 1, F-ing Teens, Cream Filled 3, and Absolute Ass 5 this time), as well as a cardboard protective sleeve with the new led lights that looked cool.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Crazy Big Asses was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as originally shot by director Jordan Septo for release by Exquisite/Venom Digital. The lighting was solid in most cases and that led to limited amounts of grain and video noise compared to similar movies by other directors. The composition of the shots was virtually always favorable to the ladies, focusing on their strengths rather than minor flaws in most cases, and that added some measure of fun to the scenes here. The DVD was mastered well enough and I thought the visual elements worked very nicely generally speaking. The 2.0 Dolby Digital English audio was slightly hollow in the limited setting of the couch in the living room in most cases. I could not always hear the vocals well enough for my tastes but they were sometimes a bit mixed in terms of quality and most of the background noises were minimal (except for the outdoor scene that needed someone to shoot the bird).

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Body of Review: Jordan Septo may not be a household in porn these days but he has definitely caught the eye of many fans thanks to his straightforward approach to directing curvy gals at Exquisite/Venom Digital. The best work he does centers on bountiful booty so I was drawn to the cover of Crazy Big Asses at the recent AEE show in Vegas thanks to the ripe, round asses drawing my eye (although, to be fair, what drew my attention across the crowded convention floor was the twinkling red led lights that are part of the company's new promotional campaign-they certainly stand out). Knowing that Flower Tucci, Ana Nova, and Georgia Peach were featured in the gonzo flick also made it an easy sell given their routinely solid performances in the past but fans will surely agree that the truth in advertising quotient was high here as every scene had anal in it. That said, here's a quick look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used:

Scene One: Marie Luv, the lean black gal on the upper right hand corner of the front cover, was up first outside with Harley and Sascha after telling the camera how she wanted to be fucked. While she is an established anal performer that many like, I've never been a huge fan of hers and she didn't have the requisite "crazy big ass" that some of the others in the movie possessed so your mileage may vary. The lighting was provided via the natural light on a cloudy day, a change of pace from the couch the director usually uses and the picture wasn't as good as usual this time (they looked slightly washed out and the compression rate must've been set too high). Sexually, she dropped to her knees after the limited teasing, slobbing the knobs of the men aggressively before allowing them to take turns boning her tight pussy and expansive ass. Whatever reservations I may have about her physical appeal aside, she was an active cock rider that truly seemed to turn on the juice as she bounced on their rods. The specific permutations and positions were plentiful, culminating in a DP (though the background noise of the bird showed why Jordan shoots inside most of the time) and it ended when she took their loads to her mouth.

Scene Two: Georgia Peach, the curvy cutie on the lower middle of the front cover that stood out even more than the led lighting of the package for me, was up next as she teased the camera with her fine booty. I like gals with some junk in the trunk so she's always welcome in movies I watch, even if the vocals were too low as she masturbated. Her partner was Alex Sanders and seeing him gave me the relief of knowing she'd be pounded hard and enjoying it as they worked on the living room couch together. She fingered her ass and he came up to slam his cock in her mouth, allowing the gal to be worked at both ends simultaneously to her delight. She wasn't as aggressive a cocksucker as Marie but even though it wasn't so messy, it showed some fine oral skills with a meat pipe. The action was playful and amusing as much as sexy; her satin bikini enhancing her look long into the scene. He ate her ass before screwing her, the couple starting off with the anal action slowly but increasing the tempo as she became acclimated. Her vocals included dirty talk (and a short rendition of Georgia as an opera singer) and she took his cock in each of her three holes with a degree of pleasure mixed with pain. They had a lot of chemistry together and she ended it by aggressively sucking his load of population pudding and swallowing it to make a very heated pairing.

Scene Three: Flower Tucci, the premiere anal queen of the movie as seen on the lower left hand corner of the front cover in the pink bikini, was up next with a healthy dose of tease on the couch. It didn't take long to see that Flower was going to give one of her charged performances, starting off by stretching her ass with a clear anal toy as she masturbated and did some booty shaking. Lengthy tease is always a pleasant thing for me and Flower always manages to show her fans a great time so this was appreciated until Sascha walked in to serve as her meat puppet. He spent most of the scene working her mouth and ass but she was an active participant in the entire scene, with sparks flying as a result of her driven appreciation for cock. Just watching her ass cheeks ripple as she impaled herself on his cock was a sight for sore eyes, the curvy hotty providing the best scene of the movie (though usually, the best scenes are at the beginning and end of a porno from my extensive experience). They got hot & sweaty together, ending with the mouth pop swallow but this scene convinced me that she was the queen of the day. Whew!

Scene Four: Ana Nova, the curvy German gal seen on the lower right hand corner of the front cover, was up next as she displayed her own assets for the camera. Her tease wasn't as natural as the ones provided by Flower or Georgia (not as long either) but those that have seen her in action probably already know that her strength is in her actual performances with men. Her scene partner was the massive Lee Stone, the guy stripping her before warming her up orally and manually on the couch. She seemed to appreciate his attentive nature and the two pawed each other as they worked themselves up into a heightened state of arousal for the scene. They kissed before she dropped to her knees to blow him, savoring the taste of cock more than a little as she skillfully worked it in and out of her mouth. This led to an active ride on her part that showed she enjoyed her work more than a little bit, getting off as Lee tore into her holes with another lengthy ride in her back door. She also displayed no hesitation in enjoying the taste of her pussy or ass off his cock (PTM and ATM), making it three scenes in a row that were nicely handled and showed chemistry with heat. She took the facial well, giving him some post coital sucking rather than swallowing his load, giving a lot of replay value for fans.

Scene Five: Alexia Milano, the all natural babe on the upper middle of the front cover was up last and showed a playful demeanor as she teased in the living room. I found her ass to be as fitting of the title as any of the previous three gals, all with a gal next door kind of appeal. She was stuck working with Harley, a guy that I have yet to see perform up to standards in porn, but showed a lot of enthusiasm nonetheless; the mark of a solid performer (after all, it's easy to work with the top talent). The knob slobbing was short (fitting considering the modest size of his cock) but she was a natural when it came to riding his cock and even elevated the scene by repeatedly trying to get him into a rougher mode of play. The PTM led to anal and she seemed to like having sex with her built for comfort shaped body. It was good she liked anal too since she was pounded raw on her shaven cookie. It even seemed like she was zoning out during portions of the anal, revived to request he choke her before they did ATM. In all, she showed a lot of potential and managed to close out the movie with a decent performance; making me long for a scene between her and at least a second tier male performer. In his favor, he did give her a decent facial but she didn't swallow.

Summary: Crazy Big Asses by director Jordan Septo for release by Exquisite/Venom Digital was a nice example of how well he can capture some of the most diverse acts in porn. I'll be the first to admit that the technical matters on the outdoor scene with Marie could probably have been handled better but the sweet BTS extra alone had more action than many features on the market these days and four out of five scenes were highly strokable with solid replay value. The amount of fuck for the buck wasn't the best he's provided this year but I'm sure most people will enjoy the anal (and other sexual activities) enough to make Crazy Big Asses worthy of being Recommended, and nearly the next step up. If you're looking for an up and comer director worthy of attention, there are few that live up to the hype as well as this guy; his raw edges adding something to the mix more often than not.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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