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Pipe Dreams (Vivid)

Studio: Vivid » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 11/5/07

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Pipe Dreams

Vivid Entertainment

Genre: Feature

Director: Paul Thomas

Cast: Melissa Lauren, Jerry, Justine Joli, Austin Kincaid, Janine Lindemulder, Steven St. Croix, Sofia Sandobar, Manuel Ferrara, Venus
Non-sex roles: Kayla Paige, Anastasia Pierce, Paul Thomas, others uncredited

Length: 98:36 minutes

Date of Production: 12/9/2004

Extras: The best extra was the 8:10 minute long Behind the Scenes footage. There was nudity, some minor amounts of deleted sex footage, and the cast & crew making random comments. There were 94:09 minutes of bonus scenes (5 older, unrelated scenes that is) that some of you will appreciate, a photogallery, some trailers, a text biography for Janine Lindemulder, and some spam. The second side of the cover was only more covers this time as well.

Condoms: Some

Audio/Video Quality: Pipe Dreams was presented in the same 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as shot by director Paul Thomas for Vivid Entertainment. The lighting was all over the map this time with some scenes really poorly lit (causing substantial amounts of grain) and others somewhat better. There were varying amounts of video noise and shadows as a result too, the composition of the shots tending to compliment the ladies otherwise. The setting was a brick walled house that served as a dungeon so the lighting issues were commonplace this time, the editing unable to save it from itself. The bitrate was often in the lower 4 Mbps range but dropped down a fair amount too though I don’t recall any obvious issues with compression artifacts. The fleshtones were not bad but as a quickie little project by PT, this one was not up to his usual level of quality. The audio was presented in a barebones 2.0 Dolby Digital stereo English with a 192 Kbps bitrate. There was no obvious separation between the channels and the dynamic range showed a narrow range too. I could generally hear the vocals (and background noises) but more care should have gone into this aspect of the movie. The music was fairly generic in most scenes too; standard porn grade fluff for those who care.

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Body of Review: Janine Lindemulder is best known as a long time contract gal at Vivid Entertainment that did not do men except at the very beginning and very end of her career. Her lesbian antics were very well received over the years and she worked a lot for director Paul Thomas before leaving the company to finish out at a competitor. Well, her last movie for Vivid was shot days before she left them, a little title called Pipe Dreams that they sat on for all these years. The movie is a low end feature starring Janine as a psychotic porn performer that falls for lonely Manuel Ferrara as the man tries his hand at directing (“it’s just like plumbing…” claimed his “brother” Paul Thomas). The cover said it like this: “Be Careful Who You Wish For. Henry is a plumber who cleans up after the beautiful people. He's a sweet, not-too-bright guy. When he persuades his talent agent brother to make a grade-z skin flick, he figures he'll get to meet a girl, even if it's all an act. But first he has to write a script. And that he does...and it turns out to be a blockbuster. With superstar Janine attached! Paul Thomas presents a strange and poignant story about being careful what you wish for, and more importantly who. Because if you end up with a hit and a harlot, your life may never be the same. And you just may end up wishing you never took the plunge...” If you’re a fan of light bondage and Janine, this will be a no brainer for you to pick up but here’s a quick look at the condom filled scenes:

Scene One: House Call: Melissa Lauren, a curvy brunette back in her glory days, was up first as she engaged in carnal activities with Jerry. She masturbated on the couch using a large toy, getting him to pull his pud before he walked over to receive a knob slobbing good time by the lady. It wasn’t a very aggressive blowjob but she maintained an active stance at giving oral pleasure; Jerry spanking her ass a bit to coax her on and some anal fingering stretching her rectum before he started vaginally nailing her. The condom didn’t bother me nearly as much as how much she slowed down during the back door romp but I’ve seen worse too. After a few anal positions, he busted a nut of population pudding on her mouth; reducing the effectiveness of any safe sex procedure in the process.

Scene Two: VIP Room: Justine Joli, the well known lesbian standing in the lower right hand quadrant of the front cover, was up next as she dominated a trussed up Austin Kincaid; spanking and flogging the curvier gal lightly as part of a BDSM scene. The rope bondage and cunnilingus were okay but the toy penetrating Austin seemed to be way too shallow and light. The scene ended without much fanfare, Justine never getting to receive any loving before it was over.

Scene Three: Viewer Discretion: Janine Lindemulder, the now-retired super star featured on the front DVD cover, was up next in a more complete BDSM scene with Steven St. Croix as her master. She was bound and gagged, Steven dripping candle wax on her as she struggled with her bonds. He savored the moment as he ate her from behind, the curvy babe gyrating in a mixture of pleasure and pain before he inserted a lengthy toy into her. He then freed her to blow him, Janine working his meat pipe with enthusiasm and energy to spare by using her mouth and hand. Janine may not have been known as the most talented fellatrix in her day but she was not following a mechanical formula here either. The standing 69 was fun (could’ve been longer though) and the vaginal pounding she took was actually better than expected given Steven’s size. The lighting may have sucked really bad (at one point a flashlight was used to laminate it) but the raw energy was present right up until the ending facial.

Scene Four: Janine’s Kind of Place: Janine Lindemulder, now in a black outfit that highlighted her curvy figure, was up next with a interestingly looking gal with blond hair named Sofia Sandobar and studly Manuel Ferrara. Manuel was the one dominated next as the gals spanked and slapped him around with the flogger. He gave them some oral pleasure and the gals returned it twofold before taking turns actively riding his cock in a few positions. Sophia was a more active rider and participated more in the action, the sheathed cock penetrating her more as a result of the chemistry they shared. Janine liked to watch them go at it more than really jump in as well; leaving Sophia to take the mouth pop at the end of the scene.

Scene Five: A Better Idea: Janine Lindemulder, having established herself as a psycho, caused the end of the movie being shot and demanded Manuel Ferrara take her home. Continuing with the BDSM theme, she was tied up and on her knees as she blew him to an “almost” completion in her mouth, though his stress levels prevented the orgasm in question.

Scene Six: My Little Devil: Janine Lindemulder, wearing more black bondage gear, was up last in bed with blindfolded Venus and Manuel Ferrara. Janine was particularly aggressive with both of her partners this time, dominating Venus with her paddle and some oral loving as Manuel gave the lady some oral herself. The ladies double teamed him orally and Janine even tossed his salad (rimmed his ass); the condom shown being put on this time (I actually appreciate seeing that act when they are to be worn). Venus rode him hard vaginally, as did Janine, before some toys and anal took place. Janine doing anal with a guy is pretty rare on screen (Venus less so) and she seemed to be more active the entire scene so fans will have something appealing to remember her by if she sticks to her retirement this time. The scene ended with both gals taking the facial and giving him some post coital head. Whew!

Summary: Pipe Dreams by director Paul Thomas for Vivid Entertainment was not designed to win awards or major accolades; looking like it needed a few days of pick up shots to be honest. Still, as an ending tribute to Janine’s career at the company, the movie was worth a light Recommended by this fan; acknowledging that your own rating for the movie will depend largely on how much you like the leading lady of the day. The amounts of fuck for the buck, extras, and replay value will therefore vary considerably but Pipe Dreams is probably as good a look at Janine Lindemulder in terms of her stay at Vivid in her final days working for them; not some big budget extravaganza like Emperor.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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