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Praise the Load

Studio: Jules Jordan Video » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 4/15/08

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Cindy Crawford  (click for trailer)

Praise The Load: Special Edition

Jules Jordan Video/Mike John Productions

Tatiana Kush

Genre: Blowjobs, Blowbangs

Velicity Von!

Director: Mike John

Hannah West

Cast: Cindy Crawford, Tatiana Kush, Velicity Von, Hannah West, Aiden Starr, Emma Heart, Rachel Milan, Gianna; Tone Capone, Lefty LaRue, Hooks, Mike Hash, Wade Hardman, Arnold Schwartzenpecker, Johnny Fender, Steve Taylor, Alias

Aiden Starr

Length: 209:09 minutes

Emma Heart

Date of Production: 2/22/2008

Rachel Milan

Extras: The best extra was the 61:45 minute long Behind the Scenes feature. It consisted of photoshoot material, some goofing around by the cast, and additional nudity/sex. Thankfully for fans, the emphasis was on additional sex so you'll be getting some extra mileage out of this double disc set. Then there was a pop shot recap, a nice slipcover, a cast list (the ladies only this time), a photogallery, and trailers to six of Mike's other titles, including stuff like Boobaholics Anonymous 3, Sperm Receptacles 3, No Cum Dodging Allowed 8, Peep Show, POV Pervert 9, Semen Sippers 6, Racial Tension 2, Elastic Assholes 5, Sperm Overload, and POV Pervert 8.


Condoms: None

-- sponsored by --

Audio/Video Quality: Praise The Load was presented in a decent 1.78:1 ratio anamorphic widescreen color as shot by director Mike John for Jules Jordan Video as presented in the MPEG-2 format so common to standard definition titles. The lighting was pretty good, limiting the grain and other visual flaws in the open settings of the house as well as the limited outside action I prefer. The composition of the shots was largely enhancing to the ladies as Mike and his assistant Tim Von Swine took care to present the blowbangs in their best possible light. There were no compression artifacts (the bitrate hovering in the lower 5 Mbps range most of the time) but the fleshtones were all I expected them to be, making this one visually decent for me though not the best I've seen from Mike in the past. The 2.0 Dolby Digital English audio (in 192 Kbps) was a bit more basic with no separation or major dynamic range but I could always hear what was said and the music didn't interfere with my viewing pleasure.

Body of Review: Mike John is one of the best known directors of POV and blowbangs in porn today, his work released under the Jules Jordan Video label always managing to give the most suck for the buck you could hope to find. His most recent movie in the oral vein was Praise The Load: Special Edition; a double disc set of blowbangs with a bevy of beauties all well versed in the oral circuit. The men in the movie were all the same disposable mopes you'll find planting seed in similar efforts these days, there merely to provide the seed and proof that the women will suck anything with a heartbeat (perhaps giving hope to those viewers that have yet to find a willing partner to share intimate encounters with). Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Cindy Crawford, the dark haired (with blond high lights) gal wearing the pink outfit in the upper left hand corner of the front cover, was up first on her knees surrounded by a bunch of mopes. Tim spoke to her as she blew two of the six at a time, taking a short break to answer his questions but still jerking them off. At 27 years old, she showed an affinity for cocks of all colors, aggressively slobbing the knobs with no reservations at all from the looks of it. She also did some tea bagging before they unleashed their loads of population pudding onto her face. For enthusiasm and passion alone, she got high marks and the gal seemed to appreciate the protein landing on her face to glaze it something fierce.

Scene Two: Tatiana Kush, the pale gal seem on the upper right hand corner of the front cover, was up next as she took on her group of mopes; the lady showing her paunch and curvy ass that made her desirable in the living room setting. Her nipples were engorged with blood to show she was excited at the prospect of blowing a group of unknown strangers, Mike at the helm this time. Tatiana followed the same pattern of blowing the men, this time there were four white guys (with Arnold dropping down to be seen repeatedly and Mike going down on her), the tea bagging less plentiful but the loads about the same size individually. She wasn't a size queen but seemed happiest with the smaller cocks, waving with her coated face as she seemed to pray to the faded camera.

Scene Three: Velicity Von, the blond on the upper right (second from the edge) in checkered bikini undies, was up next as she spoke with Tim during the tease. Tim felt her ass and mentioned her brief hiatus before she was oiled up (thanks to the "Schwartzenpecker oil service"); Velicity showing a love of all colors of the rainbow with the five cocks before her. She looked different to me here but certainly not unappealing given that heaving chest of hers (and her limited desire to use it). I thought she was energetic and almost as good as the last time Tim shot her in such a situation, though that was a while back so your mileage may vary (this scene looked clearer on technical matters if nothing else). There was enough facial jizz to close her eyes shut and give her the appearance of gills on the right side of her face (Tim calling it a "giant pig wad"); all in all a better day than she spent in Florida.

Scene Four: Hannah West, a cute gal with freckles as seen on the lower right hand corner of the cover, was up next as the last scene of the first disc. Mike got her to admit to being a habitual liar and she looked kind of mean at first but she warmed up to guys like Arnold as they walked over to her on the couch to get their dicks sucked. There were only four white guys but she embraced all aspects of doing their rods orally; from ball sucking, jerking them off during the blow jobs, and inhaling them while milking their loads moderately efficiently. I think she does a better job with full sex but even as a low point in the movie, it wasn't a bad blowbang for those that like glazed faces ending the scene (Hannah getting an eye pop after dissing one of them and her subsequent whining about it).

Scene Five: Aiden Starr, the pale white hotty seen on the upper left hand corner of the cover in the pink panties (rolled down beneath her crotch), was the first scene of the second disc as Tim interviewed her (and used Tone as a measuring device). She claimed this was her first blowbang and she had fun, sucking the white and black cocks with equal vigor as she wrapped her lips around the shafts one at a time (twirling her tongue around them and even trying to deepthroat them). There were three black dicks and one white cock for her to work with, the humor of the situation not lost on the lady as she teased them to orgasming on her face.

Scene Six: Emma Heart, the very appealing blond on the middle of the right hand side cover in the pink bikini, was up next and her last name was an accurate description of her ass shape, the ass crack swallowing her panties as Mike directed them to get started. She engaged with two white guys and two black men, the guys surrounding her as she worked them over a few at a time. She would blow one and jerk off another (or two) but seemed more into the larger black dicks confronting her here. She did seem to be in her zone much of the time but did not have the same levels of polish as most of the others, trying to infuse extra raw energy to even things out. She took the facials easily and followed the same basic formula as her peers as well, making the scene a respectable stroker for fans of the genre.

Scene Seven: Rachel Milan, the big booty brunette seen on the upper middle of the front cover (the only one bent over with her ass facing the camera), was up next as Tim interviewed her. She was perky and youthful, her playful attitude perfect for the movie. Steve got to go first and his modest member suited her nicely as it didn't push her limits much, her enthusiasm applying to more than just the attention she got at the beginning of the scene. She ended up with four white mopes surrounding her, the gal servicing them very well indeed by blowing them and cleaning their balls like a seasoned porn veteran. The men must not have busted a nut in awhile, prompting Tim to suggest her semen mask looked like 14 men dropped loads on her instead of four.

Scene Eight: Gianna, the busty babe featured on the lower left hand corner of the front cover, was up last and as the premiere act of the show, she was a delight. Shot on Valentine's Day, she displayed a need for seed that few of the others could have ever hoped to match, her thick curves appealing to all the mopes waiting in the background as Mike made a few comments. As an oral sexual athlete, Gianna knew no equal in the movie, chugging on dick and balls alike with a driven state of mind. Her rainbow coalition of mopes was such that she dominated them all, keeping them going before they rubbed out their wads in various ways such as giving them titty fucks. It was interesting to see her going at it too as she has been in a number of these type of movies in the past, the humor of the men slapping her face with their dicks infectious as they rallied to her cause. In the end, she wasn't quite as well glazed as some of the ladies but she was no waif either so that could have been a factor but it was probably the best scene in most ways. Whew!

Summary: Praise The Load by director Mike John for Jules Jordan Video was as much a Tim Von Swine flick as Mike's from what I could see, each man having a different take on the idea but garnering similar results. The semi-religious nature of the title was a bit bizarre (even the font used on the cover was such that it invoked old memories) but make no mistake that the ladies here all seemed to be praising the multiple of loads hitting their faces that they worked so hard for so I rated it a respectable Recommended. In short, Praise The Load: Special Edition is the kind of blowbang movie you can count on to provide quality, quantity, and an appealing cast of diverse ladies you'd all like sucking your meat pipe.


You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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