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Hollywood's Nailin' Palin

Studio: Hustler Video » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 2/2/10

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

click for trailer #1

Hollywood's Nailin' Palin (SD and Blu-ray)

Hustler Video

Genre: Parody

click for trailer #2

Director: Axel Braun

Cast: Lisa Ann, Sindee Jennings, Tori Black, Anthony Rosano, Nicole Ray, Otto Bauer, Alan Stafford, Sean Michaels
Non-sex roles by April O'Neil, James Bartholet, Axel Braun, Scott Stone, Mandizzy, Lyla Storm

Length: 112:26 minutes

Date of Production: 2009

Extras: The best extra will be the bonus scene from "Scary Big Dicks #2" lasting 33:57 minutes between Nicole Ray and Lee Stone. I also liked the 25:41 minute long Behind the Scenes feature though it was mostly gals getting their makeup, photogallery shoots, and minor goofing around this time. There was a separate Blooper Reel lasting 3:17 minutes, a slide show, and some trailers too but that was all she wrote.

Condoms: None

Lisa Ann and Sindee Jennings

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Audio/Video Quality: Hollywood's Nailin' Palin (SD and Blu-ray) was presented in a colorful 1.78:1 ratio, widescreen, offering as shot by director Axel Braun for Hustler Video using the 1080i resolution and AVC codec typical of standard definition projects. while the SD version was encoded in the usual MPEG-2 at 480 resolution. There appeared to be an attempt to do this one quickly, paying less attention to the sets, the clothing, and other visual elements of the movie, the folks at Hustler going for cheap and quick over their more recent attempts at quality sitcums. The editing wasn't as tight as the best genre efforts but Claudia Ross seemed almost up to the task of polishing up Axel's raw footage nicely enough. The standard definition version of the flick had few compression artifacts, only a bit of noise & edge enhancement, and proper lighting to assist in making the movie look more like the original, the art direction credited to the director himself. In short, in terms of the visual aesthetics, this title fell a bit short of the first volume in the series but wasn't terrible, just below most of Axel's works in the sitcum genre. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English with a 224 Kbps audio bitrate and 48 kHz sampling rate, the script by Roger Krypton enhanced by some of the aural elements of the score (just as the "Mary Tyler Moore" styled opening ditty was extremely well received by my resident toy tester Nadine).

Tori Black

Body of Review: Axel Braun has become one of the most prolific sitcum parody pornographers thanks in large part to his work for Hustler Video. Granted, that doesn't mean his ratio of hits to misses is all that great but given what amount to miniscule budgets and timelines so short that even the best in the jizz biz would be hard pressed to come up with better. His latest release carries forth the political parody series based on the former governor of Alaska as played by voluptuous Lisa Ann with Hollywood's Nailin' Palin (SD and Blu-ray), the series showcasing the former politician's efforts to change careers into the entertainment industry, her ability to lie and look clueless not up to par with the best the two political parties have to offer at this writing. The basic formula of Lisa providing catch phrases while placed in situations where she ends up showing her Libertarian roots was not altered and the writing by the infamous comedian Roger Krypton just as valued as it has been in so many of Hustler's sitcums of the last year. The back cover described the movie like this: "With tons of newly acquired "free time" Sarah looks to Hollywood to fill the void! She tries her hand at a big budget movie, television drama, hosting a talk show and even co-hosts a search for America's Next Top Governor! Porn Valley keeps calling, will she answer?" Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Nicole Ray with Otto Bauer

Scene One: Lisa Ann, the busty lead of the show featured on the center of the front cover, was up first as she ran against Sindee "Tina Fey" Jennings for the lead in her own biography. Trading witty remarks, the two practice a scene from the script that leaves them both naked as they kissed and striped out of their business outfits. Bartholet was okay as the gay receptionist and Lisa gave the same level of performance she has in the entire series but Sindee dropped the ball by sounding as if she were cold reading the exchange for the first time. Thankfully, the sex wasn't all bad as the lesbian scene included some more kissing, titty licking, and pussy play, Lisa clearly in control the entire time. To say Sindee was outgunned and outmatched would be an understatement of epic proportions but even though the cameras did not catch enough of Lisa's famous ass in Sindee's face, the toy work by Lisa was decent enough. They lacked chemistry and the mechanical sex was devoid of heat but this was merely a warm up of things to come so I patiently waited for a better scene to come along.

Lisa Ann

Scene Two: Tori Black and Anthony Rosano, neither a stranger to sitcums, were then up in a parody of the boring CSI series, poking fun at rural Wasilla as the pair investigate the death of Keith Olbermann. The bumpkin act wore thin quickly enough but only because the performers seemed to think they were parodying "Fargo", Tori getting things back on track as she pulled out his pud to slob his knob aggressively. Wrapping her lips around his rod, she proved her worth once more as she provided the moper with a decent hummer, removing her top to reveal her all natural tits for him to play with. She stroked him with some hand to gland combat moves as she blew him, the guy giving her a few licks before he began plowing her largely passive pussy in several positions. The lighting had some issues but Tori seemed to be inconsistently into the action as the main reason for the weakness of the scene, the gal ending the action by jerking out his genetic juice to her face.

Lisa Ann with Sean Michaels

Scene Three: Nicole Ray and April O'Neil were up next competing to replace Sarah as the next governor, playing a stripper act for Otto "David Hasselhof" Bauer, as the drunken guy tossed dollar bills their way. The ladies stripped to patriotic bikinis and Nicole ended up showing him that she wanted it more by doing him as he chowed down on a hamburger. Her perky body looked good and sadly enough, April left (taking her large breasts with her) so she took on the hardcore guy all by herself as she dropped to her knees to blow him like an experienced professional (the loss of focus only noticed for a brief time). Aside from looking at the camera too much and the lame set, the sex was decent for a vanilla approach, my preference being something a bit closer to what Otto's wife provides more than this. He even had some trouble staying fully erect here and her taste testing did not keep him fully engaged, the ending facial jerked off by Otto to her mouth (though she did not swallow).

Scene Four: Lisa Ann, now playing the political icon as a talk show hostess, interviewed Alan "Criss Angel" Stafford and Scott "Levi Johnson" Stone, both men trash talking each other until Lisa slipped out back with Alan. They made out and she was soon blowing him in a wanton manner, his love of her titties apparent as he played with them a bit. Alan was wise enough to go down on her after she provided that solid hummer and this led to the couple vaginally screwing in a few active positions, her snatch milking him dry quickly as he rubbed one out on her torso and tits while they soiled the black couch.

Scene Five: Lisa Ann, having failed at all her other attempts to capitalize on her popularity, ended up working in porn with Sean Michaels in an office setting, the director explaining the set up to her beforehand. The "Sarah as porn performer" angle was cute, perhaps cute enough that more could have been done with it, but her love of large black cock ended up speaking for itself as she worked him to the best of her abilities. Her white dress came off as fast as his suit, her pink lingerie following for him to rim and get her lubed up, the couple porking vaginally before the anal started in. Lisa was uncharacteristically passive this time but considering what she was working with, it made sense for the usual reasons. The couple continued until he jerked off to her face, her glasses left on this time as she received his population pudding seed all over.

Summary: Hollywood's Nailin' Palin by director Axel Braun for Hustler Video will almost certainly appeal to the same crowd that has made the series one of the company's bestselling to date but it is wearing thin given how much of a knock off the cheap sets and limited scenarios have become. If you are a fan of Lisa Ann, there will be enough to enjoy thanks to her three scenes but I certainly hope the company takes more time and effort to develop any more titles in the series because the replay value and strokability here barely merited a rating of Rent It from me and I'm a well known fan of Lisa Ann. In short then, Hollywood's Nailin' Palin (SD and Blu-ray) looked best in the high definition version but there were some issues with editing and camera work (not to mention lighting and mosquito noise) indicating how quickly this was made and the charm of the original release was almost completely gone so check it out in Blu-ray first if you like, just don't expect a lot of thought going into the volume or you'll be as disappointed as I was.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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