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images courtesy of Evolved Novelties
Having just read the latest review by Xcritic reviewer "Crazy Slutty" and rubbing one out to her latest video in the forums, I decided it was time to finish up a toy review I was sitting on for the past week. Rather than take the approach of using something once for a couple of minutes and declaring myself an expert as I've seen on other review websites dedicated to toys, I wanted to spend additional time with cohort in crime, Nadine. My fluffy toy expert has no ties to production companies, doesn't feel the need to kiss ass to keep getting more stuff, and has disdain for those that strong-arm companies into kissing her ass lest she tear apart an otherwise solid toy. In that sense, she shares a lot in common with me, the only difference being my admittedly limited ties to a number of companies, directors, performers and others involved in the porn world, making our reviews independent of the world at large since we refuse to jump on any bandwagons like others do. This time, she and I tackled the Evolved Novelties Heavenly Dolphin
in their Dream Maker line.
The company describes this line like this: "Fantasies become reality with the powerful, yet soothing Dream Maker Edition. Its erotically sophisticated, state-of-the-art design and multi-function capabilities, serve as a conduit to a state of Nirvana. The Dream Maker's combination of multiple speeds and functions are guaranteed to satisfy the most discriminating of desires; while the massager's ergonomic form will ensure liberation of your sexual soul...Sweet Dreams!"
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Okay, purple in color and enclosed in a large version of their now famous high end cases, the toy measured almost 10" in length, though only about 5" of that was useable for insertion. The widest part of the device measured 1.75" across, and it contained a separate bullet attachment to stimulate the clitoris apart from the main penetrative shaft. While the base was made of their popular hard plastic, the portions used to stimulate the genitalia were much softer jelly, the absence of discernable smells coming from it a welcome relief from the majority of toys on the market given the generic "jelly" banner.
A quick look at the base shows what first appeared to be a pentagram with some blue led lights, white buttons beneath it used to control the "over 600 combinations" of functions provided. The insertable portion had a bunch of beads in it for more subtle pleasuring for the labia too, all of which combined to give the Heavenly Dolphin some real potential as a scream inducing sex toy. With power supplied by four AAA batteries, I also expected it would last awhile, several of the tests lasting longer than Nadine and I did to confirm that suspicion.
The round button pictured on the center of the controls was the on/off switch, the circular button on the upper left controlling the patterns of the rotating beads while the one on the right side focused exclusively on the clitoral vibrator bullet patterns. The flared buttons surrounding the on switch are used to cycle the toy through the five speeds, when used together offering a multitude of options involving direction of the beads (clockwise and counterclockwise), set patterns including short bursts each way or similar actions by the bullet. The batteries go in the base and are kept safe by the waterproof O-ring seal, my submersion testing going on for a prolonged time due to the phone ringing and my prolonged absence from the bathroom.
While not as long as many large vibrators, the Heavenly Dolphin was quite long enough for Nadine, her initial compliment being that it was just wide enough without going overboard. This let her focus on getting the right pace with the clitoral stimulator better, preferring that I take charge of the other controls to get her off. Needless to say, she got off several times in each session, the novelty of so many options not bothering her a bit as we explored some of them in great detail. To her, the use of a partner with a sex toy is preferable rather than going it alone but she did seem at home with rubbing a few quickies out over the week when I tended to more mundane aspects in life.
While not the cheapest such device on the market (nor the most expensive for that matter), the Heavenly Dolphin was a lot of fun for us as a couple to use together, though too large to use on me, it worked extremely well for Nadine who again appreciated the box it came in (not the cheesy plastic and cardboard with various porn performers on it as other toys use for marketing), the variety of combinations it offered and the duration of the batteries (over two hours) as much as the waves of pleasure it gave her so we decided to rate this one as Highly Recommended. She liked it enough that we discussed inviting Crazy Slutty over to try it (and us) out too, or at least a few of the other blogging performers here at Xcritic that would enjoy it as much as we did. Oh, and for those socially conscious enough to care, the toy was made in mainland China (like most things available for purchase these days) but it appeared to be of solid construction so if it breaks down or wears out anytime soon, we'll update the review.
Features also mentioned on the back of the box:
• Master on/off button
• Over 600 combinations of speed and function
• Independent clitoral and shaft control
• Odorless, non-toxic and phthalate-free tpr
• Illuminated with sapphire blue L.E.D. lights
• 5 speeds and 5 functions for clitoral stimulation and shaft rotation
• Strategically placed clitoral stimulator
• Fluid non-stick gyrating ecstasy beads
• Ergonomically designed silky smooth base
• Lube friendly! (both water and silicone-based)
You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon