Porn Reviews » Transexual Reviews »
Or, as their own opening credits would have you believe, "Transexual Activity".
How do you spell it right on the menu and the box but get it wrong in the movie itself?
That can't be any indicator of the quality of the porn herein, could it? Certainly not!
The movie begins with lots of greasy previewing. Seriously, it's like lube everywhere with cuts every two seconds. This goes on for four and a half minutes. Get to the movie already!
Camilla Smith/Izabelly Ferraz
Camilla has a rather mannish face, although the rest of her seems nice. Dark haired Izabelly Ferraz is lookin' all right. The camera man has a heavy heavy accent and asks creepily if he can play with them. The girls do a bit of ... nothing. Like, lots of rubbing themselves and putting on ostensibly sexy faces.
Finally they start showing off their breast implants, although Izabelly inexplicably keeps licking chain. Chain licker!
Perhaps she's anemic and needed a hit of iron.
Finally they start touching each other. Creepy camera guy asks them to kiss. And suddenly I see a dude in the background fondling his massively hard cock. OK then.
Izabelly is kinda hot. Creepy camera guy continues creeping me out as he reaches out to fondle the girls.
Blah blah things continue in this manner with some boring licking and stuff.
Izabelly shows us her really odd tan line and Camilla starts to suck her cock. Both of them have pretty nice cocks and Camilla does a pretty fair job.
And here comes the dude off the bed to make out with Izabelly while Camilla keeps sucking. It's pretty good, except Camilla's shoes are hi-lar-i-ous.
If you need to borrow shoes for your porn shoot,may I suggest NOT using Grandma's church pumps?
Camilla starts sucking on bed dude, who is ginormous. Then he starts sucking on Izabelly, which is a bit acrobatic, and he's doing a better job than Camilla. And now Camilla is hard, and her cock bends totally sideways! WTF!
Then bed guy is sucking on both of them and I am bored. He gives better blowjobs and better rimjobs. Izabelly does her best to look sexy while everyone ignores her.
Finally bed guy starts to fuck Camilla in the ass in a horrible horrible position. Seriously, I do not know how he is not falling off this fucking chair. They finally switch to Izabelly which is slightly better. She stays somewhat hard while she's being fucked, which is good. Then Camilla puts a pillowcase on bed guy's head while Izabelly fucks him. What.
There's nothing at all hilarious about this.
Random cut to bed guy's cumshot, and it's not even that great. Guess the camera guy was too busy jerking off to do his job. Then Izabelly and Camilla take turns jerking off and we are treated to seriously curved cock again. Jeebus.
Anyway, this scene is not that bad. If camera guy would shut up and Camilla looked a little less manly (and had a normal cock), I'd actually say it was pretty good.
Renata Araujo/Walkiria Dumont
This scene is horrible. Camera guy is asking what they're doing, and "Can I touch you?" CREEPY.
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Again we have random licking and camera guy reaching out to touch the merchandise. Ew.
Renata tries and fails to make sexy faces.
Bad faces = not sexy.Also not sexy? Wrinkly tits.
And AH GOD SURPRISE LACTATION!!! How do you not warn people???! *runs away screaming*
Renata squeezes it out, and licks it up.
Walkiria does some licking of butts. Ok, not really, she does some spitting in the general buttal area, and then rubs it around.
Camera guy says, "Two hot tranny!" and I want to slap him.
Then they "kiss" and make "sexy" faces. It's awful.
Next there are some vibrators. And more "kissing." MY EYES.
This is also not hilarious. At all.
Then a dude with a hat comes out of nowhere with a giant cock. Sure. That's fine. Renata keeps vocalizing like a dying seagull while the camera man tells her to "open your ass." Over and over again. At least Renata's noises distract us from the fact that she is a TERRIBLE cocksucker.
And now there is another guy with a hat. Sure. Whatever. Blah blah cocksucking. Walkiria is better.
One of the dudes actually BITES Renata's balls. Aah! Don't do that!
And more sexy faces! LOOK AWAY!
Renata squeezes more milk out and caws again while the dudes are cumming on them. Then Renata cums and tey do a total fake cum thing for Walkiria. FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE.
You can see how their sexy faces improved as time went on.
NEVER WATCH THIS SCENE.
Creepy camera guy again. *eye roll* And then some... rocking? It's not dancing. I don't know what that is. Oh, now it's dancing. Kind of.
Then there's a glass dildo, and camera guy is ever helpful once again.
If creepy guy wasn't so fuckin' creepy, this would have been nice.
And then there is lube everywhere. Or oil. Who knows.
Again, some random guy shows up and she sucks his cock. I am confused by the earrings she's wearing. They look like little... dolls?
I am down with this.
And now there is another guy. And then a third! You'd think they'd advertise the whole group sex aspects of the DVD, but no.
You'd think they'd want to advertise action like this...
Rabeche does OK with the cocksucking. Lots of fucking in different positions. She appears to be having a lot of fun, which is nice. And then she starts slapping the boys, which is hilarious. They cum on her and we're done.
Kalena looks kinda hot. Let's see what she's got.
And then there is a dude wrapped in plastic wrap.
What is this? I don't even...
Back to Kalena, who looks all sexy and crap. Camera man gets fresh and I am tired.
Glass dildo again, camera man helps out again. And her cock's all curved, but not quite as bad as that other girl. Then they pour something all over her. Milk? I think it's milk.
Kalena seems as dismayed as I am at this turn of events.
Then he squirts a bunch of it in her ass... so that she can drip it out.
OK, so THEN she squirts it all over plastic wrap man. From her ass.
OMFG WHAT AM I WATCHING
And now she's licking it off his plastic wrap!
Then they take the plastic wrap off. Milk is everywhere. Apparently they think milk is the cure for boring porn scenes.
They are mistaken.
The camera man takes hot girl and squishes her face about. Someone punch him in the face already!
Kalena does OK with the cocksucking, but everything else has ruined... well, everything.
Then he fucks her ass while she is covered in crusty dried milk substance.
Nothin' says sexin' like dried, crusty milk.
Then she fucks his ass and puts a pillowcase over his head! GODDAMN! And yeah, they cum but it's nothing to write home about.
I still don't find anything hilarious about this.Nope, not laughing at all.
Then they pour more milk on her. You think I'm kidding. I'm not.
So they took the hottest girl in the whole movie, who doesn't sound like a dude or look like a dude, and they covered her in crusty milk substance and made her do ridiculous unsexy things.
For this, the movie cannot be forgiven.
More of the same. So bored.
All that wasted potential...
Except OMG when the random guy who's fucking her cums... it's hilarious. It sounds like that scene when the T-1000 in Terminator 2 falls in the boiling liquid and flails around changing to his various forms.
It sounds EXACTLY like that.
Cumshot recap, photo gallery and... a cast list?
Not quite so special.
The hits: Izabelly is hot. Rabeche is hot and you can tell she's having a ton of fun, and that's nice. Kalena is very hot. The Camilla/Izabelly scene is decent. The Rabeche scene is decent. Both would be better without CREEPY CAMERA MAN.
The misses: CREEPY CAMERA MAN. And, well, um...
Final grade: D-
Honestly the worst thing is the wasted potential. Blah!