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Vagnificent Seven, The
Genre: Lesbian, Feature, Parody
Director: Tarantino XXX
Cast: Vera Drake, Sadie Pop, September Reign, Jessica Ryan, Amber Ivy, Lily Cade, Lotus Lain, Audrey Noir
Audio/Video: Audio and video quality were both excellent.
Length: 1 hour, 48 minutes
Extras: Behind the Scenes, Blooper Reel
Overview: Admittedly, I go into this parody blind since I haven’t watched the Quentin Tarantino film The Hateful Eight. I am a fan of Inglorious Basterds, and there’s a bit sprinkled in Tarantino XXX’s all lesbian Vagnificent Seven. I’m a fan of lesbian porn especially when it includes fresh faces with veteran performers and Vagnificent Seven shows that the ladies had a brutally good time in this neo Western porn parody.
Scene 1 The Slave Vera Drake, Sadie Pop
Sadie delivers Vera to an old time movie theater with a dog collar wrapped around Vera’s neck. Sadie plays a faux Nazi (though it’s important to point out Sadie isn’t wearing a Swastika band but it’s obvious that’s what she’s portraying), and does what they do best . . . treat their victims like animals. Admiring Vera’s exotic beauty and ink, Sadie has Vera totally nude and worships her young prey, going down on her and sampling all her holes causing Vera to squirm in delight. Vera experiences most of the pleasure early on, even having a modern day Hitachi rub one out for her. When Sadie needs to cum Vera does an equally fine job of lapping up her new mistress’ bald pussy, turning her into a squealing orgasmic, very satisfied member of the Third Reich. The way the scene is shot all throughout, from the color tones that really gives it a good artistic sensibility to the scene, the way the two immediately went for the action sans any dialogue, and the eroticness that filled the 30 plus minutes certainly make this a really good, strokable way to set the tone for the rest of the film.
Scene 2 The Hoebadashery September Reign, Jessica Ryan
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The scene begins as if we can expect a showdown of sorts as we see several of the major players of the film but the only showdown is between red-headed firestarter Jessica Ryan and ebony beauty September Reign. I’ve long argued for more interracial lesbian porn and teaming female performers together that you wouldn’t normally see together in mainstream titles as most tend to pair girls with similar looks. Tarantino to his credit does both here and the magic Jessica and September create is incredible. September eats away at Jessica’s firecrotch, lapping up all her sweet creamy white juices as Jessica moans in sheer delight. Jessica’s need for chocolate causes her to turn the table and start munching away at September’s magnificent vagina. The more dominant Jessica then finger fucks September’s pussy, fitting two fingers in her tight box until September can’t help but cum hard on them. The scene closes with September with a face full of Jessica’s ass in another stroke-fueled scene that helps to proves that interracial lesbian porn needs to be given more of a spotlight.
Scene 3 Amber Ivy, September Reign
In a sort of chroma key effect that makes it a bit distracting to watch we see Amber and September against the backdrop of what’s supposed to be a saloon. You’ll soon not realize the chroma key as we see September going for it with Amber. She pulls apart her shirt and starts sucking down on her nipples hard causing her creamy white lover to moan loudly. Here, September is the dominant one and she totally undresses Amber and laps up her pussy. September doesn’t let up even when it appears Amber is about to get her turn to taste some chocolate but September isn’t done, not by a long shot. Off screen we do hear instructions being given a few times in this scene, plus a camera appearing in frame so we’ll have to deduct a few points from the lack of quality control in this scene. But the closing 69 where Amber shoves her big white booty into September’s face still keeps the momentum of this scene and the film overall sizzling.
Scene 4 She’s Go A Secret Lily Cade, Lotus Lain, Audrey Noir
The slave girl, Audrey Noir, begins to remember how she ended up in the hands of Lily and Lotus. When she comes to, Lotus shows her no sexual mercy, showing this little white girl she’s the master. Lotus eats her up causing Audrey to moan in a loud ecstasy while Lily looks on but not for long. She pulls out her plastic cock and Lotus and Lily take turns pleasuring their fuck toy. Lotus fingers her, commenting how tight Audrey’s pussy gets when she sucking on Lily’s cock really good, and enjoys getting her pussy licked while Lily fucks Audrey in mish. Lily wants some of Lotus’ and starts to whip her, being reprimanded by the freewoman Lotus who says her days of being whipped are over. But Lily still fucks her from behind showing everybody who the real master is in this scene, not because she’s white but because she’s got the cock and the power to please. When it’s Audrey’s turn to get fucked she’s ordered on her knees and bury her face in Lotus’ ass. There’s no way Lily will leave unscathed and as she pulls her pants off Audrey quickly works her way down to lap up Lily’s red bush. Lily doesn’t leave orgasm free as both girls do a nice job getting Lily to cum hard to close out this parody.
Summary: Without any dialogue (minus tile cards at the beginning of each scene to sort of tell the viewers what to expect) I’m not sure what the plot was if there really was one. But honestly, I just dug that it was a hot lesbian film with the girls wasting no time going at each other. It’s a gonzo lesbian porn disguised as a parody of a mainstream film that celebrates grindhouse films and spaghetti Westerns. But it works simply because of this great cast that all had really good sexual chemistry, all of them looking down to fuck and fuck they did. Plus there was very rarely a slow moment as the girls kept at it all full energy levels and none of the scenes ever really going too long. I’d say they each nearly perfectly timed before reaching any kind of boredom levels. The Vagnificent Seven is certainly not boring in the least. It’s a stroke-filled all girl sex action packed film that is worth a Highly Recommended rating.