Porn Reviews » Adult Movie Reviews »
Toned & Boned
Genres: All Sex, Alt Girls, Athletes, Squirting, Tattoo
Director: Joanna Angel
Cast - The Tone Girls: Keisha Grey, Cali Carter, Harlow Harrison, Sarah Jessie, Joanna Angel
Cast - The Bone Guys: Xander Corvus, Small Hands, Markus Dupree, Mr. Pete
Length: 2 hours 2 minutes
Date of Release: April 17, 2017
Extras: 5 Menu-Selectable Trailers, Photo Gallery, Internet Info
Audio/Video Quality: Good on both fronts. Presented in widescreen and captured well. There's an off camera sound here and there, but they are minimal.
Overview: Joanna Angel brings us five scenes that feature some of the hottest and fittest inked bodies on the planet. She pairs those ladies up with a handful of male sex machines and they go to town. No setups, just a tease and then banging like bunnies.
Scene 1: Keisha Grey & Mr. Pete
Keisha's tease has her sporting a bra and some Unholy panties. The montage closes out as she spills a protein shake down herself after removing her sports bra. Luckily, Mr. Pete is on hand to bury his face in the crack of her ass. She lies on her yoga mat, legs spread so he can finger and tongue her neatly trimmed, hairy hole. She reciprocates by wrapping her deep red lips around his shaft and slobbering it up so he can fuck her DD's. With her face and his phallus covered in spit, he bends her over and starts banging her box, those DD's flailing about as he fucks her. He whispers compliments to her as he lies her down on the mat again, eager to plow her field as she stares up at him while licking her lips.
Gripping her throat, he pistons into her pussy as she begs for it to be harder. Miss Grey takes her turn bouncing on his boner in reverse cowgirl. As they lay into a spooning, she watches his cock intently as it slams in and out of her. Back in cowgirl, her big booty slaps against his thighs and they trade jackhammer duties back and forth. One more round of missionary and they are both happy campers as he cums on her tits, giving her the protein shake she was looking for all along.
Scene 2: Cali Carter & Xander Corvus
Cali's stretching by the pool in her Burning Angel Booty Shorts, a pink and black headband, and a pink top with the cleavage cutout in a clever fashion that stretches as she lifts weights. I swear, every time I see this lovely lady in a new video (and that's quite a bit), she just gets more toned! How is that possible?! It seems Xander wants to check her out inch by inch himself, starting with the crack of her ass. He's quick to plunge into her with his cock, stripping quickly, as she aids him by sticking a finger in her ass and tasting it. Her ass in the air, Xander straddles her body lengthwise and practices his own lunge and plunge technique. She wants to taste herself and they swap positions so she can, her hairbanded ponytail flipping around as she buries his cock in her throat. Once his dick is all lubed and gooey, she climbs on and works his dick like a hooker that has to cover rent within the hour. He jams his fingers into her throat as he jams her hole from below. With his fingers wet, he checks out her tight ass hole with them, his hammering from below constant.
After some more throat time, she turns around to reveal her finely crafted D-cup globes. Fingering her clit furiously as Xander puts just as much effort into fucking her while choking her, she cums on his cock and he pulls her to the floor to spit in her mouth and fuck her balloons. She wants it back in her pussy so he pulls her into a one-legged stand and starts ramming. Her high ponytail goes back to flailing around with each banging. These two are just natural fuck machines. He pounds and pounds and she smiles back and encourages him to give her more. After a few more position changes he finally coats her pretty face and they thank each other.
Scene 3: Joanna Angel & Small Hands
The legend herself, Joanna Angel, is showing off her tight, little, massively inked body as she works out with a weight ball. She joins her real-life husband, Small Hands, on the bed and lubes up his nightstick so she can give it a dual handed twist and bob. They smile and laugh as he tears off her panties to show off her landing strip as he presses her to the bed and starts banging. He slips out and spits on her pussy as he slides back in, Joanna clapping her appreciation. The pink striping in her black tresses works out to be a nicely photogenic ponytail as they switch to a spoon and then she gives hubby another dual handed jerking. Small Hands takes matters into his own hands by throwing Joanna into a doggie position so he can drill her from behind. Her expression swaps between a big smile and gritted teeth as she grips the edge of the mattress.
They exchange some passionate kisses before an edit brings us to her getting hammered from underneath. He checks her sphincter with his middle finger and they switch to a standing one legged fucking which she's really into.She gets tossed back on the bed for some missionary and another jerking is followed by the anal intrusion everyone was expecting. He yanks her head back and forth as he pounds into her butt. They switch to another butt angle, which doesn't seem to work for her well so she taps him and they roll into a different one that suits her much better by the look and sound of it. Small Hands just starts pounding into her ass, his hair as sweat-soaked as her tattoo will be jizz-soaked a moment later.
The attraction these two have for each other, and the comfort level they possess is readily apparent here. It's a good time all around.
Scene 4: Harlow Harrison & Markus Dupree
Harlow sits on the couch, playing with her jugs as she watches two versions of herself dance and workout in front of her through the magic of Visual FX. AS she lies on a yoga mat, Markus Dupree comes sliding in to slap her tits and eat her ass. With her ass presented in doggie on the couch, Markus tears off his pants and goes at her hole with his distinctive jackrabbit style. He slows the pace down a bit by gripping her arms in a lock with one of his while gripping her hair with the other. After the jackrabbiting, he places her on a couch arm so he can lick her before he sticks her again. Their faces pressed together, he fucks her rapidly and then brings her to a squirt with his hand as she prays. He repeats that process, catching it in his hand and slapping it across her smiling face.
The process is repeated back on the main part of the couch, where she unleashes a bigger geyser before he pulls her to her side and slams back into her hole. He starts to lose traction and drops to the floor where he lies as she's on the couch and the drilling continues. With his legs still on the couch, she switches to a cowgirl straddle over him where she brings herself to unleash about a quart of fluid all over him in a series of squirts. She licks a good amount of it up as she crawls onto the floor with him where his ass sounds like a set of tap shoes as he taps his cock into her. The camera is filming the action in profile, but Markus deftly spins them 90 degrees so you can see the action closeup. More wet fingering is followed by another rabbit humping. Their bodies glisten with fluids as she moves into a sidesaddle ride where he slaps her ass before releasing a healthy amount of his own juice into her waiting mouth.
Scene 5: Sarah Jessie & Markus Dupree
In what appears to be a scene filmed on its own (it has its own credits as it starts) we find industry veteran Sarah Jessie, using a workout machine as the camera explores her body. As the drumbeat marches on, she pours a small bottle of water over herself to keep cool and then goes to meet Mr. Dupree in an all-white living room. He pulls her boobs out of her bra and reaches into her panties as he licks her nipples. She kneels on the couch, panties down as he licks her crack while she bounces up and down. She looks back at him seductively as his jackrabbiting begins. Her clit hood piercing shines in the light as he whispers to her while whaling away inside of her. The nipples on her round breasts are silhouetted by the sunlight. Spinning around, she gives him a quick blowjob and climbs on, panting and moaning.
The large rose tattoo on her lower back dances around as she grinds on him while he pounds into her. AS she reverses herself, her panting turns to shrill shrieks as she squats over his hammer drill in cowgirl. She's gulping air in between shrieks as he gives her the same treatment he gave Harlow, alternating between dicking and fingering, making her squirt. That sequence repeats with her propped, legs wide, in a bar stool. Not content with the stool, Markus lifts her for some aerial action. They move back to the bar stool for some doggie drilling and then she gets pushed to a set of double doors with handles they can grip while they continue their fuck frenzy. This might be the best position she has, as it shows off her incredible body really well. Heading back to the couch, they finish things off with a couple of reverse cowgirl variations. He unloads a series of streams across her face and into her throat.
Final Thoughts: Cali Carter and Joanna Angel had the standout scenes if you ask me. But, that's probably just personal preference. This is good ol' hardcore porn. There are no setups. Just a quick tease montage and then people fuck like rabbits. The girls in this film are absolutely fit as fiddles. That's what differentiates this from "average" porn that you buy from the bargain bin. There are no B-listers here. These are trained professionals on closed courses. Everyone is here to show off their assets and talents, and that's shown in spades. This is the kind of porn you have handy. There's no story to follow, and the scenes are all basically the same. Only the names, faces, and bodies change. If you like some variation among your inked angels, this is probably a safe bet. You can save some cash and stream this for life for a bit less. Personally, I prefer physical media, so I always lean that way. Either way, I Recommend this one.
~cyber5 Tweet me.