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My Killer Girlfriend
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Genre: Comedy Feature
Cast: Joanna Angel, Carmen Caliente, Katrina Jade, Nikki Hearts, Arya Fae, Ramon Novar, Will Havoc, Small Hands
Writer/Director: Joanna Angel
Cinematography: Mike Quasar
Release Date: Oct. 31, 2017
Length: 1 hr. 57 min.
Extras: A slideshow and five trailers
Overview: My Killer Girlfriend is Joanna Angel's latest tongue-in-cheek homage to the great grindhouse slasher films of the '80's. In this one Joanna Angel hooks up with the girl she's been chatting up with online, played wonderfully by Carmen Caliente. But little does Joanna know that Carmen, shall we say, has some SERIOUS commitment issues. Mainly, she likes to murder her lover's friends. It's obvious the makers have a great love for the genre and it shows with great performances and terrific twisted humor. Everyone is truly having a lot of fun making this, and that just adds to the enjoyment of the viewer.
Scene One: Joanna Angel and Carmen Caliente
The film opens with Joanna finally meeting the girl she's been talking to online for over a year, and that would be Carmen. The sweet, innocent and naive Joanna makes awkward attempts to make out with Carmen, before Carmen takes charge. She starts with kissing Joanna before rubbing her pussy over her shorts. She gets Joanna's top off and sucks her on her tits before getting her completely naked. Then Carmen takes her top off and Joanna sucks on her tits. Carmen twerks for Joanna before removing her cut-offs and Joanna starts eating her pussy. She sucks and munches on her clit and pussy lips driving Carmen crazy, fingerbanging her to orgasm. Joanna simply goes to town on Carmen's pussy, making her cum over and over before she climbs up and sits on Carmen's face. Joanna grinds her pussy on Carmen's mouth for a little before Carmen gets behind her and eats her out for behind, eating Joanna's pussy and asshole. With her tongue up her butt she rubs Joanna's clit until she cums multiple times. She munches some more on her box and lays back for Joanna to go down on her again. Joanna simply devours Carmen's pussy before they both start rubbing each other, giving both of them thunderous orgasms. Joanna then lays back and Carmen eats her out, motorboating her pussy and driving Joanna over the edge several times. Then, while Carmen is on all fours, Joanna fingers and rubs Carmen's pussy while licking her asshole, giving Carmen wave upon wave of glorious orgasms.
After their session Joanna and Carmen lay naked together, caressing each other, when Joanna tells Carmen she has friends coming over. Carmen acts upset, telling Joanna she's not really good with people. Joanna assures her they won't be long, and, in a great comic performance, we start to see Carmen's madness coming through as she starts twitching while holding a kitchen knife.
Scene Two: Arya Fae and Ramon Nomar
When Joanna leaves to go to the store her friends Arya and Ramon arrive. Carmen greets them at the door and starts twitching again. Arya and Ramon go the kitchen and start making out. After getting hot and bothered with each other Arya drops to her knees and starts sucking Ramon's cock. She gives him some sweet head while masturbating her pussy, and then bends over the counter for Ramon's cock. He starts fucking her from behind, holding her arms back as he pounds her pussy. After cumming on his cock, Ramon laps her juices off of her pussy and fucks her some more. He picks her up and slides her pussy up and down on his cock making her cum again. She sucks her juices off of his cock and then Ramon fucks her ballerina style. He holds her leg up while he fucks her pussy from behind and plays with her clit until she cums again. He lays her up on the counter and laps up her juices before fucking her missionary. She rubs her clit as he works his cock in and out of her pussy, giving her another orgasm before t-boning her from behind. She simply loving his cock as it plunges in and out of her tight pussy when she gets on all fours in a chair and he fucks her from behind. He orders her to tell him she's cumming and she screams it as she explodes on his pounding cock. He slams her pussy until she cums multiple times before she sits up in the chair and they fuck missionary again. She cums over and over as she furiously rubs her clit while Ramon pounds her wet pussy. Ramon then picks her up again and bounces her on his cock before he lays down on the counter and Arya cleans off his rock hard cock with her mouth. She then climbs up and rides him cowgirl, sliding her pussy up and down his hard shaft. Ramon fucks her from underneath, rubbing her clit as he pounds her pussy. And after Arya has several orgasms on Ramon's cock Ramon picks her up again and she humps his cock until he shoots a load of cum on her face. Terrific, very energetic scene with AVN best newcomer nominee Arya Rae.
After they finish fucking each other, Arya remarks about Joanna's “crazy” new girlfriend. Carmen proves her sanity though by running in, wielding the kitchen knife and screaming. “I'M NOT CRAZY!” She then murders them, stabbing them both, pulling Ramon's eyes out, and cutting them up, neatly wrapping the brains and extremities in plastic wrap and storing them in the refrigerator. She cleans up all of the gore just in time before Joanna to get back. There's a ring at the door and it's Joanna's friends Nikki Hearts and Will Havoc. They play as punk rock band members, and Nikki plays the part to a tee (complete with Eat Shit And Die trucker hat). Nikki interrogates Carmen before the two go outside for a smoke. Lesbian Nikki tells Will she doesn't approve of the fact Joanna is being “fake gay” all of a sudden and decides to be a “fake hetero.”
Scene Three: Nikki Hearts and Will Havoc
Nikki jumps on Will, making out with him and undoing his pants to suck his cock. He asks her if she's a real lesbian since she's so good at it. She gives him some great head before he lays her down and eats her pussy. He gets her nice and wet before sticking his cock in her and fucking her missionary. Nikki rubs her clit while Will works his cock in and out of her sweet hole until she cums. She then gets on all fours and Will fucks her doggy style, Nikki telling him how good his cock feels inside her pussy. He pounds away until she cums again and she sucks her juices off of his cock. She then climbs up and rides him cowgirl, her cute little tomboyish butt bouncing up and down on his cock. She then spins around and rides him reverse cowgirl, with a great shot of Nikki slowly sliding and grinding her tight little pussy on Will's cock. She then sucks his cock some more before laying back on him and having him spoon her. He rubs her clit as he works his cock in and out of her before going back into a missionary and lightly choking her while he fucks her. With his hand around her throat, she rubs her clit to another orgasm and sucks her juices off of his cock again. He fucks her missionary some more before she rides him cowgirl again. After cumming several times on top of his cock they spoon again, Nikki holding herself up as Will fucks her pussy from behind. Finally after plunging his cock in and out of her pussy he pulls out and slowly jacks his cock until he shoots his load on Nikki's belly and pussy.
After they finish fucking each other Nikki and Will have a cigarette on the couch when Carmen walks in. Nikki apologizes to Carmen, saying she just needed some dick, and Carmen tells her it's ok...before pulling a knife out and killing them, maniacally laughing as she hacks them to death with the blade, SFX blood going everywhere. She cleans up and washes the blood off when the doorbell rings again and it's more of Joanna's friends, Katrina Jade and Small Hands. The four of them decide to play Never Have I Ever. When Katrina says, “Never have I ever had an orgy,” Small Hand and Carmen take a drink. They can't believe good girl Joanna never has, and Carmen assures her she can have one anytime. So they do.
Scene Four: Carmen Caliente, Joanna Angel, Katrina Jade and Small Hands
They start with Katrina taking Small Hands' pants off and sucking his cock. It's not long before they're all naked and the three girls are giving him head. They all work on his hard rod when Carmen climbs up and sits on Small Hands' face. Joanna switches with her and she starts grinding her pussy on his mouth while Carmen sucks his cock. She then shares it with Katrina while Joanna eats her ass out before Small Hands fucks Katrina from doggy style from behind. He pounds her pussy making her cum when he goes to Carmen and fucks her from behind. Meanwhile Carmen is eating Joanna's ass while she eats Katrina's pussy. The ladies then all suck Small Hands' cock before Joanna climbs up and rides him cowgirl. Small Hands fucks her pussy from underneath while Carmen and Katrina kissing her and her body as she cums on Small Hands cock. Joanna eats out Katrina for a little bit before she climbs off so Carmen can have a turn. She grinds her pussy down on Small Hands cock as he fucks her reverse cowgirl. After having an explosive orgasm she gets down on the floor and Small Hands fucks her doggy style while Katrina makes Joanna cum on the couch.
Carmen cleans Small Hands' cock with her mouth while Joanna goes down on Katrina. Joanna then switches with Carmen and sucks his cock while Carmen makes Katrina cum with her mouth. Then then form a train with Small Hands fucking Katrina missionary while Joanna sits on her face and goes down on Carmen. There are orgasms a-plenty with all of the fucking going on. The three ladies then clean Katrina's juices off of Small Hands' cock before he fucks Joanna doggy style. With Carmen licking her asshole Joanna cums on Small Hands cock before Katrina fingerbangs Carmen from behind. Small Hands flips Joanna over and fucks her missionary, making her cum as Katrina masturbates her pussy. He then starts spooning her from behind, with Carmen kissing her as Small Hands works his cock in and out of Joanna. Carmen then furiously rubs Joanna's clit and she cums on Small Hands cock before the three girls all gather around Small Hands cock and he jerks his cum in their mouths, the three ladies snowballing it between them.
After this terrific four-way orgy, Carmen starts violently twitching before revealing her true self. It turns out she's actually a demon, complete with very cheesy fake rubber Halloween demon mask. She then brutally murders Small Hands and Katrina, more terrific fake SFX blood flying. Joanna tells her it's nothing they can't work through and that she'll bring more friends over for her to kill. And they lived happily ever after. Ah, L'Amour.
Final Thoughts: Point blank, I LOVED this movie. It is so tongue-in-cheek, with Joanna Angel giving us her best thing since Cindy, Queen Of Hell, with so much love and affection towards the classic grindhouse genre. It's much more of a loving and affectionate tribute than a lampoon. And another thing I really love about Burning Angel is they don't insult the viewer. They make it known right from the start that this is porn, so lets have some fun with it. And man, do they. There is no doubt in my mind that every one of the orgasms in this one are real, and that these are porn stars having the times of their lives. Every sex scene is great, beautifully shot by the masterful Mike Quasar. Joanna Angel keeps the scenes going at a nice pace, not bogging things down with repetition. Small Hands editing is impressive, especially during the murder scenes which have more quick cuts than the shower scene in Psycho. And man, Carmen Caliente is just plain terrific with impeccable comedic timing. It's a great film, and for all of us fellow slasher fans I give it the Xcritic Pick.
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