Smother Me

Evil Angel/Uncle D Productions

Genre: Tease

Director: Uncle D

Cast: Majella, Uncle D, Baby Blue, Madeline, Candice, Ola, Nikki, Michelle

Length: 128 minutes

Date of Production: 4/15/2006

Extras: The best extra was clearly the short bonus sex scene between Uncle D and Michelle. I didn't like that she was having a hard time taking his condom laden cock inside her ass (whimpering and telling him "no" in a pleading voice) but she did possess a very appealing backside with a lot to like as he jerked out a load to her cheeks. There was a photogallery, a cast list, and some links (the main one suggesting the website: "…contains explicit visual images of tight jeans, denim shorts, booty, bikini, spandex, leather, canadian, ass, man, butt, skin, lycra, pvc, bubble, buttman, anal, bum, sexy ladies, derrier, garter, panty, hose, pantyhose, boots, thong, g string, fetish, bikini
, swim wear, water, wet, sex, facesitting, face, sitting, ass man, cameltoes, camel, toes, female, end, stiletto, LEVI, stretch jeans, woman, girls, ladies, tight stretch, trousers, pants, high heels, narrow waist, levi, sex, free, download, pics, and other assorted picture of an adult nature and stories that are intended for ADULTS who are 18 years of age or older" but it wasn't up at this writing on Memorial Day 2006.

Condoms: Yes

Audio/Video Quality: Smother Me was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color that most porn is shot in these days as originally shot by director Uncle D for distribution by Evil Angel. The entire set of scenes appeared to be shot on home movie equipment, done in the typical amateur video style that used to be so popular before the professionals cleaned it up. In large part, this gave it a rough edged look with fair amounts of grain, some video noise, and a lack of professional lighting but it also served to put the viewer on notice that this was something off the beaten track. In that sense, my biggest gripe with it was the watermark for the website on the lower left hand corner of the screen at all times, far more intrusive than the ones some companies use to fight piracy (this was a marketing styled watermark that was as bold as could be). The audio was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital English but that was probably coded later in the mastering process since there did not appear to be any separation between the channels (making it a monaural signal like most porn shot these days). I could hear almost everything and it added an amateur dynamic to the audio portion of the show that went with the visual elements.

Body of Review: It isn't all that often that often that John "Buttman" Stagliano, Emperor of the Evil Angel Empire, publicly praises those not under his umbrella so I sat up and took notice when I saw he did just that to a guy called "Uncle D" (not me by the way) recently. John's appreciation for all kinds of fleshy ass led him to various websites run by the perverted Uncle D, with the result being the release of Smother Me by the company. The movie has over two hours of ass worshiping fun and precious little sex but that provides a nice change of pace from the all too frequent circus act sex that most porn directors seem to engage in these days. This makes the movie something special and while I wouldn't want all my porn this way, the simple fact is that sometimes less is more and this was one such time. Here's a breakdown of the scenes by cast but aside from some limited amounts of oral given the director by a few gals, the whole point of the movie was him worshiping ass, almost all of it covered up:

Scene One: Majella, a light haired gal with a fine booty and limited comprehension of the English language, was up first as she gave a visual show to Uncle D. The sleezy looking boyfriend (Frank) sort of translated but there was some changing of clothing for fans of ass, with her fleshy posterior getting all the attention it could take. She sat on his face fully clothed and the tease was the primary reason for watching the scene (it lasted the entire ten minutes she was on camera). There was no sex between them in terms of oral or penetration but I thought it was a pretty appealing scene.

Scene Two: Baby Blue, a gal wearing an anime purple wig and tight blue jeans, was up next in the changing room as Uncle D discussed how he picked her up at a local strip club. She pawed through the clothing on the shelves and bent over a lot, swapping out wig and pants before giving him some face sitting time. I liked the tease here too but started to get the impression that there wouldn't be any sex taking place in the movie, not a good sign for a porno.

Scene Three: Madeline, a raven haired hotty with a particularly fine ass was up next in tight red pants that was worthy of all the attention she could get. Her face was passable to me but that ass drove both me and Uncle D crazy (he wanted to be a short skirt and I wanted to be her thong). She's the gal on the front DVD cover, looking a bit like Jennifer Beals from the mainstream movie Flashdance though the red pants looked better on her. It was a slightly chunky butt but ass aficionados will appreciate it nonetheless. He spent an extra long time getting a strip club styled lap dance of sorts from her, ending when he rubbed out a load off camera onto her jeans.

Scene Four: Candice, an exotic looking gal with some extra weight that many porn fans will find an appealing change from the anorexic looking implant queens the major companies tend to favor, showed that the Italian/Puerto Rican combination her genetics provided to be a curvy cut above the pack for Uncle D. She prepared in the bathroom by making herself up and smoking a cigarette, leading D to toy back and forth with her in a pleasing manner. The emphasis, as in all the other scenes of the movie, spent most of the time on her ass so this one was a winner too. The sole difference in this scene was how she started playing with his modest cock a little, licking it and sucking on it for a moment before he went back to playing with her ass and jerking out a load to her clothed ass cheeks.

Scene Five: Ola, a bookworm type of gal with glasses and a shy, nervous giggle, was less polished then the previous gals and came across as a girl next door type too for Uncle D. She was less gifted in the large ass category but still appeared willing to play the game as though she were more gifted physically. She orally played with his rod a very little bit but didn't truly suck him off like he was her type. He actually dropped a second load on her clothed ass but it will provide a change of pace from the other gals displayed here.

Scene Six: Nikki, a light haired gal that has probably never seen her ample sample fit inside a six or smaller outfit, came off like a biker chick in her tight jeans and matching skin tight top with Uncle D getting more smother action by the gal as she donned some leather thigh high boots. She liked the attention and he loved her ass, providing a nice combination of mutual interests for them to explore together. There were no loads dropped or cock exposure here but I'd like to see more of her.

Scene Seven: Michelle, a French speaking gal with a smile as big as her rather large ass, was up last as Uncle D spent some time getting to know her from a variety of camera angles. In the bonus scene, she actually had some unpleasant sex with him but the tease footage was very hot to watch as her neon green pants stretched much like my own shorts at the thought of the action. She gave him the most complete blowjob of the cast, seeming to be a cock lover by the skillful way she inhaled his rod and took the facial. Fans of POV action will like the scene better than most though she appeared to be a bit out of it at times.

Summary: Smother Me was an interesting look at a guy being called "The Canadian Ass Man" getting to play with a splendid selection of well rounded rumps in his little studio. If you're looking for some bump & grind like you'd get at a good strip club, this will probably appeal to you more than the ultra hardcore sex most gonzo porn offers these days. The tease to please attitude Uncle D offered up was refreshing and well worth my time, lending it a lot of strokable replay value so I rated it as Recommended. If given some encouragement to flesh out his presentation, Uncle D could truly become a solid alternative to the ever increasing nature of gross out gonzo as his eye for ass rivaled many of the more established forces in the field. Still, keep in mind that the movie had almost no penetrative sex (outside of the bonus footage) so while it is a Buttman Magazine Choice offering, and also worthy enough to stand out in a very crowded field to me, some fans demand lots of poking in the porn and will not appreciate this one as much by comparison.