The Great American Squirt Off

Shane's World/Nocturnal Productions

Genre: Gonzo, Reality TV

Director: Eddie Powell & Ian Friedman

Cast: Lexi Love, Kat, Derrick Pierce, Cytherea, Angela Stone, Mark Davis, Flower Tucci, Felony, Mt. Pete, Jack Lawrence, Trent Soluri, Ron Jeremy, Mark Davis

Non-sex roles: Leah Luv, Mike Maravich, Jay Sin

Length: 92 minutes

Date of Production: 5/27/2006

Extra's: There were a lot of sweet extras for fans this time, helping to make it a better value then the running time of the movie itself would have otherwise provided as shot by Todd. It lasted 19.5 minutes, had some great interviews and lots of tidbits of the scenes and the cast preparing, and some of the photography by director Brother Love. It was as much fun as the movie even with some of the cast looking like they were wasted out of their mind. This was followed by a 6.5 minute long scene between Flower Tucci and Ron Jeremy; including anal sex and some fun frolicking as she tried to bribe the judge. There was then a 6 minute long lesbian squirting scene called Spectator Showoff with a lot of waterworks by two of the fugliest ladies on the DVD. This was followed by some outtakes lasting about 6 minutes and broken up into two groups as Lexi Love and Felony went at it in: My Beeker Runneth Over and Going The Distance, as well as a couple minutes worth of Bloopers. There was also 2 minutes of Host Outtakes, a squirt recap, a photogallery by Brother Love, a link that didn't appear to be active, and a double sided DVD cover.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: The Great American Squirt Off was presented in a decent 1.85:1 ratio anamorphic widescreen color as shot by directors Eddie Powell & Ian Friedman for Nocturnal Productions to be the first outside flick distributed by Shane's World. The picture was generally well lit and that limited grain, video noise, and other aspects of the picture related to the lighting levels. The competition took place in a large wrestling/boxing ring so it was easier to keep the lighting flat here than in many other shows. The picture did have a softness to it that I wasn't keen on and the camera work could've been a bit more stable (or at least fixed in editing) but it did showcase the ladies reasonably well and enhanced their looks in most cases. I saw no compression artifacts and for the most part, the look of the show was pretty good. The audio was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital English with little separation (if any) and a limited dynamic range with some looping of the vocals going on at times from the sound of it. The background noises seemed to be added in intentionally to mirror a real sporting event with some minor slips when you could hear things probably not intended for the final cut of the movie (admittedly, this is a bit of a projection on my part since the director has shown some ability to keep me guessing in his works).

Body of Review: Shane's World has long been one of the companies dedicated to a targeted audience of youthful college goers and people that enjoy less structure in their porn; often showing off newcomers or situations that use amateurs to add some spice to their works. Their attempts at comedy have been largely successful which was likely why they took on the first major production from newcomer Nocturnal Productions to distribute called The Great American Squirt Off. I recalled the original press release saying: "Chatsworth, Calif. – Squirting is a controversial subject, especially for fans wanting to know whom the best squirter is. Nocturnal Productions first release will set the record straight and crown the queen of squirting on September 12 with their release of The Great American Squirt Off. The Great American Squirt Off is a true competitive squirting challenge featuring Flower Tucci, Cytherea, Angela Stone, Lexi love, Kat and Felony. Each contestant's squirting abilities were actually measured in several categories such as distance, amount of fluid and frequency. The title also features Mike Maravich as the comedic host and Ron Jeremy and Leah Luv as the Judges. "Squirting is such an interesting subject to us, on message boards you see hundreds of fans arguing back and forth for their favorite performer. We saw the need for there to be some sort competition to decide the winner and to film the most amazing orgasms I have ever seen!" said Ian Friedman, Nocturnal Owner. "The girls got really competitive and gave their best. I am pretty sure we broke all the records in our distance squirting challenge." "This competition was quite a unique experience. We had four cameras rolling at all times to make sure we caught everything. We didn't hold back, we weren't afraid of 'getting our feet wet', so to speak, and it shows" said director Eddie Powell. "It's very up close and personal, literally." "The title has all ready exceeded everyone's expectations even before ship date." said Megan Stokes, Vice President of Sales at Shane's World Studios. "The release of this title is a milestone for Shane's World Studios. Nocturnal is the first company we have chosen to distribute for. We are thrilled it's doing so well and excited to be adding even more great reality lines to our catalogue."

Now those of you that have read my reviews know I am one of the many folks both in an out of the medical profession that aren't believers in "squirting" as displayed by the gals letting loose tremendous volumes of fluids from their vaginas (other than urine). The movie started off with a self serving bit that made it seem like the controversy was over in that regard and the bottom line is that fans can enjoy it however they desire, regardless of the facts, for all I care. The point of porn is to provide stroke material, not debate medical fallacies, and that said, you'll find a lot to like if you're into squirting thanks to some awesome casting. If you're a believer in this form of entertainment, here's a quick look at the scenes by the way they were broken down for the competition, noting that no condoms were used:

Scene One: Pregame Warmup: Lexi Love, the brunette on the left hand side of the front DVD cover, and Kat, the little gal on the cover second from the right hand side (top row), were up first in a warming up sequence that had them blowing Derrick Pierce on the stage in the ring. The crew were all standing around them as they displayed their relative skill levels, moving on to some very active vaginal cock riding; complete with lots of squirting and spitting. The onlookers seemed to be having a great time watching them from the second story of the warehouse too and while I didn't think they had any real chemistry together, the trio seemed to know how to play up their performing skills very well indeed. There was a lot of dirty talk and anal before the ending cumswap by the gals (Kat is always good at anal), ending an interesting opener.

Scene Two: Rainmaker: Cytherea, the redhead seen as the second form the left on the front cover and Angela Stone, the kneeling blonde on the lower left side, were up with Mark Davis next in the ring. The dynamics of the scene really didn't change much as the gals orally attacked him before aggressively riding his cock and squirting. The camera was drenched more than a couple of times here, coating the lens as they licked it up and tried to outdo one another. It was almost identical to the previous scene sexually (except for the lack of anal) and the cumswapping finish ended with some more commentary by judges Ron Jeremy, Leah Luv, and Jay Sin.

Scene Three: My Beeker Runneth Over: Flower Tucci (the hotty on the right hand side with the awesome ass), Kat, Cytherea, and Angela Stone, were up next with each gal diddling themselves until they squirted into a measured glass cup. Flower gave up three large cups of fluid while the others provided a lot less, coming off like who could piss the hardest.

Scene Four: No Holds Barred: Felony, Flower Tucci, Mt. Pete, Jack Lawrence, Trent Soluri, and Ron Jeremy, were up next as they all worked up for the points of who comes the best. Flower took on Pete while Felony took care of Jack at first, doing the usual oral and screwing; Flower doing an incredibly hot anal as she blew her fluids all over the camera, the stage, Pete, and everyone in a wide radius as a result (Felony riding hard too but not as heatedly). There was a silly, neigh, crazy kind of energy going on here and while I am one of those guys that rolls his eyes during some of the more outlandish pissing exploits, I'd give Flower an Oscar for her performance here. I'm not into watching old guy's bang all the best ladies but Ron is more than a legend to me; he's a guy I personally like and would buy his way into a buffet without expecting he hook me up with one of his rejects over, so him nailing Flower was okay by me.

Scene Five: Going The Distance: Kat, Flower Tucci, Angela Stone, and Cytherea, were up next as they measured for distance. Each of them have some unique abilities with their bladders (much like my super powers include growing nose hair and ear wax at an alarming rate) showing Angela's replay as being the longest squirt of the day. If they ever hold a second contest though, I expect to be offered the position of the East German judge (I know this joke predates some of the performers) since I thought a few of the displays of fluid displacement seemed questionable at best.

Scene Six: Reverse Bukkake: Lexi Love, Kat, Flower Tucci, Angela Stone, Cytherea, and Felony, were up last as they took care of Mark Davis in a turnabout of the not-too-popular bukkake theme. They used and abused him, ending up pissing all over him while everyone else watched from the relative safety of the couches in the corner of the warehouse (fake audience noises aside, it wasn't a bad setting). Otherwise, it was a standard sex scene between Mark and a plethora of ultra pussy. I have to hand it to the guy for getting into his work though as he really seemed to enjoy trying to sop up every drop of their fluid, and has never shown any issues with enjoying his own either.

Summary: The Great American Squirt Off by directors Eddie Powell & Ian Friedman for release by Shane's World was a slightly mixed bag; a good concept with a lot of rough edges in need of tightening up. Host Mike Maravich provided some of the best mugging and dry humor needed to make it a winner (much like his work in Nerdz) but Leah was underutilized, the other judge, Jay, seemed a bit too gay for the role (and didn't do a whole lot except offer up a goofy hand gesture and shitty grin; his claim to fame being when he mentioned how hot it was watching Ron Jeremy get his dick sucked), and the concept overall appeared to be the result of two distinctively different directors trying to work out a freehand idea without all the planning a feature would enjoy. The technical values varied somewhat but my newly acquired copy that wasn't scratched up played just fine so based on the hot Flower scenes and a few others, I figured this one was worth a Recommended. The back cover of the DVD said it like this: "With all the squirters out there how are you suppose to know which girl gets the wettest? We made it simple by taking 6 of the ultimate squirters and having them gush it out in the ring to finally decide who is "The Great American Squirter". Our cameras will take you so close to all the ringside mayhem, pussy gushing, ass reaming and throat stuffing ... you'll need a towel to dry off. In this no-holes barred fuck competition Celeb judges decide who wears the crown by measuring distance, size of orgasm and so much more. Place your bets now in the wettest squirt competition ever!" I hope they try something a little more polished next time but in all, The Great American Squirt Off was a lot of fun, even if it assumes a lot for the concept called squirting. Fans of Flower Tucci might feel cheated as she totally ruled in the show, tying for first place in a split decision, but it was all in the spirit of good, wet fun, much like porn is supposed to be (although maybe not quite this wet).