Not The Bradys XXX

X-Play/Hustler Video

Lu Bricate reminded me of the stereotypical porn producer; gotta love him!

Genre: Comedy

Director: Will Ryder

Cast: Jasmine Byrne, Mikey Butders, Leah Luv, Kurt Lockwood, Aurora Snow, Tee Reel, Paulina James, Veronique Vega, James Deen, Alana Evans, Mike Horner, Hillary Scott, Benjamin Brat
Non-sex roles: Lynn LeMay, Ron Jeremy, Emily Evermore, Lu Bricate', Jeff Mullen, Jennifer James, Tony Batman, others not credited

Length: 136:31 minutes

Dates of Production: 12/4/2006, 12/5/2006, 8/21/2007

Look at these extras! Yum!

Extra's: Unlike far too many releases these days, the majority of extra material was directly related to the movie itself this time, an idea that I hope other companies will follow. It started off with a 30:34 minute long Behind the Scenes feature (part 1) as shot by Will Ryder, Gary Garver, and Jay Ashley. There was as much comedy in the making of the movie as in the movie itself. Lynn LeMay looked far more fuckable, as did the two make up hotties, with a guest appearances by Sunny Lane. Alana looked about ten years younger (maybe even younger) before the make up and wig were applied with Ron Jeremy providing some extra comic relief too. The trio of BTS shooters than provided a second volume to enjoy, this time lasting 30:38 minutes and IIRC, the shoot went on for almost a full day straight (starting off with Lynn purring in her sleep on the couch). Tony and Dominic were bouncing around the set, Emily Evermore was especially hot, and there was even more going on than before. There were then some interviews with Hillary Scott (3:21 minutes), Alana Evans (6:55 minutes), Aurora Snow (6:26 minutes), and director Will Ryder with Producer Scott David (11:25 minutes). Each had their own take of what was going on, Hillary seeming to be upset, Alana beaming with a positive vibe, Aurora kind of flippant, and the technical guys covering a lot of ground on how it all got made. There was then a 10:52 minute long special on the Making of the Soundtrack with the guys having a lot of fun working out the details of the audio portion of the parody. There was then a means to replay the theme song with the menu, trailers to the Britney Rears titles; including the upcoming volume 4, and a slide show. Whew!

Condoms: None

Sam the Butcher came by to give Alice the meat she craved.

Audio/Video Quality: Not The Bradys XXX was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as shot by director Will Ryder for X-Play (as distributed by Hustler Video). The first thing I noticed about the movie was how bright the color palate was on the movie; much like the television show had for the psychedelic 60's/70's when it was released. While not my first choice for a "look", it did help propel the parody on a visual level at least as much as the clothing, settings, and numerous props used to instill the feel of the times from the show (part of the reason this worked so well was the contribution of Art Director Scott David too). The camera angles flattered the ladies in almost all cases, the editing assisting in contemporizing the sexual scenes while allowing the plot points to cater to the way the television show looked (or at least how I remembered it looking when I watched it). The rare goofs (like the camera flash in one scene, the off camera elements slipping in, or minor continuity issue's) were uncommon enough that you'd really have to examine the movie to find them all but on a visual level, this was as close to perfect as one could expect for a porno parodying a mainstream television show from decades ago. On a technical level, there was a bit of shimmer on Lu's shirt and a few compression artifacts from time to time (the bitrate varied substantially, usually ranging from the mid 2 Mbps to mid 5 Mbps). The audio was presented in the standard 2.0 Dolby Digital English with a 192 Kbps. The vocals were slightly hollow but the strength of the audio track was with the music; hands down, by far, no questions asked. The lyrics of the theme song were the relative equivalent of the Britney Rears movies; employing all the expertise the director had developed in his years in the mainstream music world. Using a similar feel but different melody (employing the near standard chord progression with the I, IV, and V chords that are extremely common but using a different key to keep the lawyers at bay), the theme song was a porn "instant classic" but the music score for the rest of the show also showed a lot of attention too. If you go back and listen to a few episodes of the show, you'll note the sound effects and transitional pieces were also similar. In fact, the only two changes I'd have made to mirror the original show would be to add a laugh track and to fill the rest of the movie with music (albeit lightly) since these areas were the two that struck me as the only elements missing. In short, it was very well done overall and a tribute to the days when porn wasn't just about churning out a gonzo in a few days time. The music as written by Jeff Mullen, engineered by Big Richard Black, and recorded at ISR Studios in Burbank should serve as the standard for porn features; the instruments and singing by Romeo Brune, Al Salas, Tian Tina, Jimi Anna, Mullen and Black a major reason for the success of the movie as a parody.

Alice keeps a watchful eye over Mike and Carol.

Body of Review: Will Ryder is a director known for two types of porn; the teen titles he releases all over the place and his wonderfully amusing parody porn shot for X-Play. Anyone that hasn't been living under a rock for the last few years should be familiar with the Britney Rears titles that have been on the airwaves as much as the darlings of mainstream media; a spin off series starring Renae Cruz as "J-Ho" coming out in a few months. The success of the musically driven parodies then inspired the director to push further with the concept, the result being Not The Bradys XXX. Patterned after the television series The Brady Bunch that aired between 1969 and 1974, the movie takes bits and pieces of ideas from the show, pornifies them, and the results are hilarious. Starring a cast of handpicked industry regulars that fit the roles of the cast (Ron Jeremy as Sam the Butcher who liked to "slip the beef" to Lynn LeMay's Alice the housekeeper being two of the more understated on display), the movie did a great job of emulating many aspects of the show. The story this time even combines some ideas from the series as Mike's troubles at the architecture firm lead the kids to getting jobs to financially help out. The ensuing sexual antics were all well done too, springing forth from the comedic situations the cast found themselves in, making it the perfect fusion of comedy and sex one would expect from a top notch effort. That said, here's a quick look at the sex scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used but don't skip the dialogue parts of the movie as they had superior entertainment value for fans of the show too:

Bobbie gets some loving by "Katie" as a way to make money.

Scene One: Jasmine Byrne, the sexy Latina dressed in blue jeans and a crop top, was up first as a teenage peer of the kids that made big bucks as a porn star. She was on the bed of a porn set with Mikey Butders (playing Bobbie; as seen on the lower right hand corner of the cover); getting frisky with each other as they kissed and pawed one another while being captured for posterity. Neither of them looked much like a teenager but in porn terms, it really didn't matter as her aggressive sexuality and coy nature elevated the scene substantially. She bit him through his pants before their clothing magically disappeared without notice, leading the brunette babe to a powerfully strokable blowjob. She alternated using her hands and vocals as those DSLs wrapped around his shaft, her levels of desire shining through as she worked his pipe orally. Jasmine has long been known as a talented cocksucker, the latter term bandied about a lot in January as I recall, leading to Mikey giving her some head before they bumped uglies. The vaginal sex started off slowly but they warmed up as he dug deep to make her feel good. The headboard bouncing off the wall was reminiscent of 1970's porn too; showing the parody aspects were not limited to the television show. Her dirty talk was hot but I liked her active riding skills even better when she was on top of him, pumping her ass as her cookie took him balls deep. In terms of heat, it was a draw between the doggy and cowgirl positions but Jasmine made it a fine scene to open up the movie with, taking the ending wad of population pudding to her face to finish up. Yowza!

Cindy gets hit on by a creepy pervert!

Scene Two: Leah Luv, the braces laden cutie seen on the lower left hand corner of the cover (as Cindy), was up next after some panty shots and tease by the gals in their car wash. Kurt Lockwood played an aging, unknown rocker pervert looking to score with young girls, convincing Leah to go to the couch with him as he robbed the cradle. He liked the "little girl vibe" she had going on, offering her a whole $200 to have sex with him on the couch. Of all his roles of late, this suited his talents the best, truly appearing to be three times her age or more as he took advantage of her need for cash. She has long been established as an orally skilled female able to cater to the teen market so the blowjob went well as she actively slobbed his semi-erect knob before he reciprocated with some attention on her cookie and ass. Her legs spread wide to grant him greater access, he spent the majority of his time on her ass before she sat on his modest member in a reverse cowgirl position. This was not her most active ride I've seen but her puffy pussy engorged with blood as she bounced on the penis, warming up in no time as the tempo increased. She did PTM between positions and took the facial well at the end of the scene; not as heated as the last scene but showing Leah's skills all the same.

Jan finds true love in the backyard, but not the back door.

Scene Three: Aurora Snow, as "Jan" (seen on the middle of the left hand side of the cover), was up next in an interracial scene with Tee Reel on the lawn, apparently having slipped out of the upstairs bedroom as the dialogue suggested (actually, there had been set problems that day according to the BTS). Aurora worked the black cock very aggressively, making a lot of noises as she inhaled his cock rapidly and rubbed her clitoris. The handjob was lubricated with spit and the ball sucking showed her level of experience to be very satisfying, Aurora keeping eye contact with him as much as possible. He then ate the monkey before drilling her pussy hard, the missionary turning into a spooning before the far more active cowgirl variations. The doggy drained his balls all too quickly and he rubbed out a load to her face before they ended the scene so abruptly but it was another very solid scene. Whew!

Paulina and Veronique include Peter in their display of affection.

Scene Four: Paulina James, Veronique Vega, and James Deen, were up next in the top bunk bed as the gals showed "Peter" their sexy undies. Paulina is a great looking gal with dark hair and pretty blue eyes, Veronique looking fetching herself. The display of underwear led the trio to experimenting sexually; James rubbing their legs as the gals got him to play a game where they could see his package. The lesbian kissing gave them a lot more to look as his cock grew in response, the ladies taking turns blowing him as all of their clothing slowly came off as they moved to the floor. The use of a medium shot for much of the scene gave extra eye candy that extensive close ups would not have provided (there seems to be a school of thought that can't live without the majority of a scene being made up mostly of close up shots for some reason) and the ladies were both excellent cock suckers to be admired (Paulina is welcome at my place any day and I wouldn't turn down Veronique if she was nice either). The messy blowjob action gave way to the ladies actively riding James' dick, Paulina surprising the crew (per the BTS and interviews) by going all the way when she was merely so turned on that her BJ only scene was cast aside for her to get the cock as desired. As heated as this floor fuck was, the energy, chemistry, and fun factor were all in strikingly solid amounts; the passion not the best in the movie but the scene a highlight all the same. The action ended after many positions with him rubbing out a small load for the ladies to share (largely a facial, much went into and around their mouths). Yum!

When the kids are away, Carol and Mike get frisky!

Scene Five: Alana Evans, wearing the same wig she wore on the upper middle of the front cover, really looked the part as the mother of the clan, with horndog Mike Horner giving her some play on the red living room couch since the kids, and Alice, were gone for the night. In terms of their dialogue roles, they were probably the best of the cast thanks to having actually been alive when the TV show aired (having something to compare to). Their retro outfits looked genuine to the times though better on the floor, Alana sporting her new titties as part of the MILF dynamic she was going for. While I never wanted to see Florence Henderson and Robert Reed going at it, Alana provided yet another sexually charged performance that included some hot oral and sweet boning as she aggressively took care of Mike. There was some titty fucking too (she wanted to experience what she had been unable to all these years), her oral was the best and the active reverse cowgirl work very well done to milk his balls dry during the facial. Her characterization as the mother of the "Bunch" was perhaps the only one of the cast to nail it so completely that a replacement would be inadvisable (whereas even the best of the others could be replaced if need be, ala Britney Rears).

Marsha and Greg make their own movie.

Scene Six: Hillary Scott, playing the infamous Marcia (the female performer of the year apparently sick during much of the filming, seen on the upper left hand corner of the cover), was up last as she tried to convince Benjamin Brat (as "Greg"), to make a porno to sell to Uncle Lu Bricate' for the needed cash. He resisted the idea a lot more than Barry Williams would have if Maureen McCormick had tried to pounce on him, the couple going to the bed to get each other off while raking in the dough. Hillary reverted to form during the sex, not surprising given her wealth of slutty roles over the years, and Ben showed her a decent time sexually. His lines seemed to be the most wooden (pun intended) but like the rest of the acting in the movie, a few minutes watching the show will probably convince most of you that the original television cast was not particularly gifted either (and they never had sex, thankfully enough). Hillary's cocksucking was second only to Alana's and about equal to Aurora's, the messy sense of abandon working well for the porno part of the fuck flick. That led to another sexually active vaginal pounding where the couple showed some heat and energy to enjoy. Hillary might have had an off day when the scene was shot but she still performed well enough that fans will want this one as much as any of her other recent work.

I think everyone in the media was thanked, including DVD Talk, in this first of several pages of accolades.

Summary: Not The Bradys XXX by director Will Ryder for X-Play was the kind of porno so many companies have abandoned in favor of cheaply made crud that is tossed together without regard for those who want something different, and better, than the latest gonzo splooge-fest. In that sense, Not The Bradys XXX was another wonderfully silly but strokable fuck flick that the director can be proud of and well worth a rating of DVD Talk Collector Series. The sex was as good as you will find in a feature, the casting of the roles particularly inspired, and the technical qualities substantially above the rest of the parodies I've watched in recent times. The story, visual, and musical elements so closely matched the original television show that it is no wonder it took so long to be released but this is clearly the comedy porn feature of the year to beat; proving that extra effort can make a porno that is different, and better, than the thousands of other titles tossed off to consumers by uncaring production companies. The movie wasn't perfect but for all of its minor quirks, it set a new standard for such releases, elevating the bar so high that few others need bother. "Parody porn at its best" should probably be the leading quote when offering this one to newcomers; the movie almost certainly a shoe in for awards and top of the year lists in the coming months. To get an idea of the closeness of the theme song, here's a quick look at the opening phrases: "Here's a story of a very special lady, who was busy raising three teens on her own, all were blond and dirty like their mother, the youngest one loves porn. Here's a story, of a man without a lady, he was working raising three boys all alone, they were men and drinking beer together, they didn't have a home..." For more information, go to Not The Bradys XXX Homepage.