2008, 3 hours, plus extras

I lost count around the 75 mark, but "Brandon Iron's Pop Tarts 2" boasts "272 frosty facials," and that seems about right. There's so much glaze all over the faces here you'd think there was an explosion at a nearby Entenmann's factory. Pretty, young girls happily submit to endless cumloads from a parade of mostly faceless jerkoffs. Usually positioned on their knees, their heads tilted back, the fair ladies get it in their eyes and ears and hair, up their noses, on their tongues and down their throats. By the time seven or 15 guys have drained their jizz on a single girl, she looks like the placenta-covered Brooke Adams pod being reborn in "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" -- times ten.

"Degrading" is in the eye of the beholder when it comes to bukkake; what some detractors deem a disgusting, purely male fantasy with no relation to the real sex enjoyed by actual people, others consider totally hot and nasty. To his credit, director Brandon Iron, in scenes culled from his "Baker's Dozen" series, employs girls who seem to truly love being the focus of so much liquid attention. While a few of the girls appear to struggle to swallow and keep down the white stuff, most of them can't get enough.

Iron has edited out most of the preliminaries (foreplay, sucking, fucking), bringing us instead straight to the climactic moments. To head off the potential monotony of all the sperm spewings, he divides the three solid hours of action on this single-sided disc into six categories: Big Blasts (seven to 12 or more guys fucking around with and unloading on a lone girl), Teasing Pleasers (girls stripping, masturbating or sucking on just one stud), Frosty Facials (pure face-covering bukkake), Single Shots (one-on-one boy/girl scenes), Line Loads (one girl making her way on her knees down a long lineup of hard-ons), and, perhaps most intense of all, Pop Mops (one girl gets her face painted and another slurps it all off of her).

Miraculously, several of the women manage to assert some personality despite their limited roles as semen receptacles. Delilah Strong, Hillary Scott and Isabel Ice are spectacularly good dirty talkers, begging for or demanding more and more cum and really meaning it. Sophia, Isabel and Alicia Alighatti are voracious cocksuckers, Jasmine Tame smiles cheerfully and laughs good-naturedly throughout her face soaking. Petite, flat-chested Aubrey Addams does a coy little girl act while pulling dicks two at a time. A sour note, however, is struck by Jada Fire, clearly a porn diva ("Get that cock outta my face!" she yells at one poor guy) who wears goggles when it's her time to be drenched. That's just not in the spirit of the proceedings at all.

                                                        THE DVD

This is a jam-packed porn extravaganza, the single disc containing not just the three-hour main program, but two long extra scenes and two trailers. The first additional scene features dark and slender young Isabel Pacino crawling all over and sucking on seven prone guys, and swallowing all their cum; the second has big-eyed Priscilla Milan getting off with a lone guy. Milan forces herself to swallow his thick deposit, claiming it's the first time she has tasted cum. "Not that bad," she says, though her face and body language indicate she may not be drinking much more in the future.

The previews are for the web sites covermyface.com and spermcocktail.com (martini glasses are filled and drained). There's also a brief text bio of director-performer Brandon Iron and a fairly unnecessary photo gallery recapping some of the glazed-over girls from the main show.

The DVD's full-motion main menu offers Play Movie, Scene Selection and Extras; the scene menu, also featuring hardcore peeks, presents the six categories of action mentioned above. There are no chapter breaks on the menu, but pressing your "next" button brings you to each successive scene (there are a whopping 39 in the main feature).

All scenes are presented in 4:3 full frame, which works well for the many shots in which the camera is positioned at a high angle looking down on a girl on her knees with five or six cocks slapping her face simultaneously -- a wider picture would add nothing to such a setup. There is no music or added sound, just the clear, well-recorded comments of the girls, the groans of the men, and the trilling of ounces of cum being gargled.     

                                               THE LAST WORD

Bukkake -- the assembly-line unloading of lots and lots of cum all over a woman's face and into her mouth -- isn't everyone's cup of, um, tea, but for those who dig it, this disc is a must-have. A dirty fucking three-hour-plus festival of young, pretty and eager girls who can't seem to get enough cocks and especially the stuff that comes out of them, it will have male customers producing many loads of their own.