This Ain't the Partridge Family XXX

Hustler Video

Kristina Rose!

Genre: Parody, Smut-Com

Tori Black!

Director: Will Ryder

Sarah Jessie

Producers: Scott David and Jeff Mullen

Faye Reagan/Valentine

Writer: Jeff Mullen

Payton Leigh

Cast: Kristina Rose, Jason Sinclair, Tori Black, Eric Swiss, Sarah Jessie, Scotty Lyons, Faye Regan, Dane Cross, Payton Leigh, Kris Slater, Shawna Lenee, Jaclyn Case, Madison Scott, Nick Manning

Non-sex role: James Bartholet

Shawna Lenee, Madison Scott, and Jaclyn Case with Nick's "mini me"

Length: 104:37 minutes

Date of Production: 6/13/2008

Extras: Unlike most parody titles of late, there was a second disc for the SD version of the movie, allowing for much more material to be included. This started out with the 22:58 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by director Will Ryder & Big Richard Black introducing the cast and showing some love to the crew such as Scott David. There was a lot of goofing around on the set and the BTS proved to show how much fun they all had during the lighter moments, Tori Black getting a lion share of the feature from what I could see. This was followed by a 4:25 minute long feature called Behind the Music where the director led the cast in some music lessons (to mixed results). Sinclair summed much of it up by saying "this is horrible" but in fairness, the ending part where the director bopped to the tunes showed his musical background (if not his actual talent). There was then one of the longest photogallery/slide shows I can recall watching (ever!), some trailers, spam for Hustler, and 3:31 minutes of deleted scenes. Then came a couple of music videos, a strong point of Will Ryder thanks to his former career in the music industry, one lasting 3:04 minutes called "Let's Fall In Love" and the other lasting 3:20 called "Rainbows"; both of them sappy enough to qualify as tunes worthy of the original series. Then there were two unrelated scenes from Hustler's Barely Legal series as described below for those that care; Tori's scene lasting 17:03 minutes from Barely Legal #79 and Reagan's scene from Barely Legal #81 lasting 23:19 minutes. Oh, and there was an optional laugh track on the first disc for those that care.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: This Ain't the Partridge Family XXX was presented in an anamorphic widescreen color with an aspect ratio of 1.78:1 as shot by director Will Ryder for Hustler Video in the MPEG-2 codec for the standard definition version using 480i resolution (the Blu-ray version clocking in with an upgraded 1080i resolution). The movie mimicked the design of the color years of the mainstream show nicely, not quite mirroring it but stylishly maintaining the parody angle almost as well as the parodies released by X-Play. The "look" of the clothing, settings, and numerous props (like the bus; a decent substitute for the full sized school bus of the original show) used to instill the feel of the times from the show worked so well thanks to the contribution of Art Director Scott David, the quieter partner of the director but every bit as important as the jovial Will Ryder. The camera angles flattered the ladies in almost all cases, the editing assisting in contemporizing the sexual scenes while allowing the plot points to come across much like the show did decades ago. On a technical level, the lighting was okay but the bitrate hovered around the 2.4 Mbps area, making me appreciate the high definition version upgrade that arrived in the same package. I saw no immediate issues with the visual aspects of the movie (aside from minor flubs that were not caught in post production, the editing coming across a bit more heavy handed this time; not bad but not award worthy either) though compared to similar parodies by the producers, I would have to admit it looked a bit rushed. The audio was presented in the standard 2.0 Dolby Digital English with a 224 Kbps audio bitrate and 48 kHz sampling rate, the vocals of the songs sung by Tina Tina, Jimi Anna, Drew Rose, and Jeff Mullen. Like all the recent porn parodies (also called "smutcoms") by Scott and Jeff, the music was definitely an upgrade over some of the wannabe crowd of copycats, I believe this is due to the audio professionals brought in at (gasp!) extra cost. It may not sound as good as Not Bewitched or the upcoming "Not Three's Company" but I have yet to hear anything as good released this year. The lack of separation on the vocal track and limited dynamic range aside, this is an early frontrunner for placement as best songs of the year too; the cheesy ditties mirroring many of the disposable tunes I recall from the original series.

Body of Review: I practically grew up on reading Hustler back in the 1970's and early 80's when I was serving our country in the military, finding its philosophy of "think pink" a refreshing upgrade from Hefner and Guccione's magazines but also learning to appreciate how seriously founder Larry Flynt took his beliefs in free speech. The magazine excelled in political parody so well that Mr. Flynt was sued, shot, and messed with by numerous people. In terms of comedy parodies, the company has a weaker track record but now shows the wisdom of hiring outside guns like Scott David and Jeff Mullen to make shows like This Ain't the Partridge Family XXX instead of just distributing their superior works. The movie was a fun take off of the old television series of a family of musicians that make a living as pop stars while facing all the same issues the rest of us do, the parody capturing several of the dilemmas faced by the cast so many years ago. The main storyline is that Keith (Nick Manning) is in a slump with the ladies, Danny (Sinclair) and Chris (Scotty Lyons) showing more success than the heartthrob. As expected, Laurie (Tori Black), Tracy (Faye Reagan), and all the other ladies were getting frisky too, the problem solved by the end of the movie. With James Bartholet as manager Ruben and Payton Leigh as mother Shirley, the casting was pretty solid in terms of looks despite what you may have heard regarding their acting abilities. Ultimately, Nick has shown dozens of times that he is capable of handling comedy and the others fell in line better than expected, the direction, music, and production aspects all contributing to making this a fun fuck flick to appreciate. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Kristina Rose, the major hotty of the production (as seen in my picture above), was up first as the brunette babe got busy with sleazy Danny (Jason Sinclair) thanks to a magical potion he purchased through mail order. Unlike Danny's schemes in the original show, this one had no downside as it was cheap and worked like a charm, the sexy Kristina all over him like white on rice. Danny looked like a dweeb but she had him pulling off her jeans in no time, her perfectly all natural body including some pubic hair to fit the times of the show. He went down on her and she slobbed his knob aggressively, the pair boning vaginally in several positions but they ran into some problems as Sinclair is not exactly "female friendly" and his erection lost it midway through the scene. The oral was a lot of fun though and seeing her perfect ass in the air reminded me of her dancing spree at the 2009 AEE so it was not a complete loss. The scene ended with the smallest pop shot of the year going to her crotch, but I fondly remember her ass cheeks rippling as they pushed towards one another, the eye candy factor better than the quality of the sex.

Scene Two: Tori Black, the sexy runner up for starlet of the year in the AVN Awards this year, was up next as she played Laurie (seen on the upper right hand corner of the cover). Frankly, Susan Dey never looked this good (with or without braces) and she was soon pawing at the pants of Eric Swiss to get a dose of pecker to suck. It was a sweet little hummer with a handjob assist, the gal showing her need for seed very well indeed. Despite some minor blemishes and stretch marks on her inner thighs, Tori was a very active rider this time too, pushing back to meet Eric's thrusts best when she was on top of him. The scene showed her puffy pussy to be super moist (probably from lube) and her grunting was way overdone but this was a decidedly better ride than the last scene from what I could see (lame editing and too many close ups). The scene closed up when he rubbed out a load of genetic juice to her face and she continued to lick him before the plot interfered.

Scene Three: Sarah Jessie, a heavily tattooed gal with multicolored hair, was up next as she blew scrawny Scotty Lyons in the garage by the instruments. Apparently, the potion that Danny purchased worked for him too given the way she inhaled his cock, the implanted gal sending "Ruben" away so she could finish her task at hand. They did a little bit of 69 before he launched his wad of population pudding into her mouth, the gal leaving to look for a second helping.

Scene Four: Faye Regan, the heavily freckled redhead seen on the lower right hand corner of the cast photo, was then up in Ruben's office with geeky Dane Cross. He delivered a pizza and received a whooping big tip, Faye (as Tracy; the youngest of the gals in the band) beckoning him to meet her back there after Ruben left. She dropped to her knees to blow him and he reciprocated with some oral and finger work, her pubic mound also sporting some hair just like the others in the cast though since the carpet matched the drapes, it was tough to see clearly. They kissed and screwed vaginally like teenagers would, the chemistry and enthusiasm between them as solid as any other scene in the movie as far as I was concerned. The desk served as the platform for the sex too, Faye all over the hard wood furniture as she moaned quite loud in porn performance mode. The scene finished up when he held her head and rubbed out a wad of semen to her face, some post coital sucking closing the deal.

Scene Five: Payton Leigh, playing Shirley (the mother), was then up as a cougar on the prowl, getting some action from Kris Slater after he delivered some groceries (she said he was much too handsome to get ditched by Laurie and he replied that he liked older women). They kissed and he went down on her, the gal moaning loudly at the ministrations he provided her clitoris. When it was her turn, she knelt before him to messily slob his knob, the streamers flying all about as she aggressively worked him over. While the least attractive female in the cast to me, her appreciation of cock was better than most of her peers, her active vaginal ride outside by the bus showed that experience can trump youth if given a chance. The loud moaning was again a pain in the neck but the multitude of positions helped make it a decent ride with plenty of replay value, the nut landing on her face and neck when it was time for him to pop.

Scene Six: Shawna Lenee, Jaclyn Case, Madison Scott, and Nick Manning, were up last as the trio of groupies found him irresistible (much like gals adored Keith/David Cassidy back in the day). While Nick was twice the age the part required, a lot of joy juice spread around sure helped convince the attractive blond chicks that he was a better selection for them than Danny. The ladies all took turns blowing him and going down on each other, the vaginal penetration enhanced by the length of the scene for me as much as the lesbian action included when the gals were not specifically working over Nick. As the apex male of the group, Keith (Nick) soon found his charms were back and the ladies responded as expected, the wealth of oral given by the gals balanced by how much screwing they did. Shawna was the most active rider of the trio and Madison seemed to display the most developed sense of oral devotion, the ladies rimming each other in heated form to demonstrate their chemistry from what I could tell. Nick started his verbal attack before too long but mostly kept it in check, giving me the impression that the director told him to shut up before the gals shared the spew he launched at their respective faces. Yum!

Bonus Scene: Barely Legal #79: Last up is Tori, a skinny brunette with a great pair of natural tits she's on the (cover). After laying topless in the sun, Tori is approached by a well-hung stud (Herschel Savage). They waste little time before diving down into some great oral action. Tori looked amazing as she licked and sucked his meat stick. They start out fucking in the cowgirl position and soon move on to doggy style and missionary. My favorite part of the scene comes at the very end when Tori takes a healthy dose of nut juice right on her tongue. Good way to end the DVD. (review by Bobby McGee)

Bonus Scene Two: Barely Legal #81: Faye is in bed at the start of the third scene. Those freckles and that red hair are almost enough to make me spooge. But, I've got to keep my cock together for about the next eighteen minutes. This shit is like playing soccer while walking on your hands. Damn readers never know the trouble I go through to bring you Pulitzer level porn reviewing. Faye fucks this nerdy guy (Dane Cross) that comes in and it's pretty sweet. She keeps making him go slow, since she's so tight. But, the dude doesn't give a fuck. He whips out his cock and sprays all over her face. She's in heaven and my balls have exploded. But, we've got two more scenes! (review by Guy Incognito)

Summary: This Ain't the Partridge Family XXX by director Will Ryder for Hustler Video might not have been his best work of the past few years but it showed he was still able to coax out some very solid performances even when he wasn't paying the bills. To say Hustler was wise to contract the Ryder/David duo to handle this one would be an understatement but the sex was sometimes lacking so whomever decided to pair some of the cast might want to hand over those chores next time too. I rated the movie as Recommended though fans of the parody porn genre will find it better than anything the company did last year so check it out and you may find the flick well worth your time as an entertaining way to enjoy a porno with those not so jaded. In short, This Ain't the Partridge Family XXX had some entertaining parody moments and decent sex in it, the technical values and extras making it the kind of show you can't go wrong with so give it a look before the next batch of high end parodies like "Not Three's Company XXX" or "Not the Cosby's XXX" hit the shelves.